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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Dear poodle friends,

I think I need your advice in training my human to understand that I am a poodle who deserves to have nice things. I have been prancing and heeling and sitting and giving eye contact and it's just not working.

Two days ago, on a walk, I finally got a hold of the dead squirrel I have been eyeing for MONTHS! It was the stuff a poodle's dreams are made of. Flat, crunchy, dry, well aged.... I have wanted a squirrel of my very own for ever and ever and just pranced with it in my mouth.

And my human made me give it up.

Yesterday we went on a long long boring drive. My human left me in the car while she played with kittens outside the car even though I TOLD her, very loudly, that I WANTED ONE. She even picked one up in front of me and she still didn't get me one.

Today, she took me on a walk by the waterfront. She wouldn't let me have the geese. I could have taken them, there were only 20! What are 20 Canada geese to a poodle? I even did what SHE wanted and posed for this picture even though the geese were RIGHT OVER THERE.

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Then I found a FISH! It was so big it dragged on the ground when I picked it up. It was nice and smelly and soft and half of it was just spine. Yum!

But she made me drop it!!!

We went to a pet store, and she wouldn't let me have the salmon skin that was RIGHT THERE. I don't care that I throw up when I eat salmon, it smelled so good!

Then she drove home with the back windows open the whole time, even though I got sprinkled with rain, because she said 'she was going to puke if she didn't get some airflow'.

And when we got home, she gave me a bucket bath on the porch, even though the Mom was making my dinner RIGHT THERE INSIDE.

Poodle friends - I am a very good girl. My human tells me that lots and lots. Why won't she let me have nice things?

Your friend,

Annie
 

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Rude humans.

I pried open my mom’s jewelry verrrry quietly and nibbled on all the sparkly things and then shoved them under the rug for safe keeping. And mom was all “no no my grandmother’s jewelry. Stop! No!” I was just trying to help keep it safe, sheesh.

Also, mom has a rule of no air pods at the dinner table. So when my girl took them out, I grabbed them. Again. Helping. But do they appreciate me?

No.
Love Blueberry
PS I want a squirrel too. Geese scare me though.
 

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Annie, I had a dog named Maddie who was your soul mate. She too was unfairly deprived once of an exquisitely flattened and preserved squirrel AND she got in trouble for rolling on an aged to perfection stinky fish. She felt sorry for the humans who don't understand the finer things in life.
 

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Elroy: Standard Poodle
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Hi Annie! I think the problem is that your human just doesn't know what "nice things" are. They can't even smell how good they are unless we put them right into their face! Next time you get a squirrel, be sure and take right up to your humans face so she can really appreciate it! Once you've done that, there is no way she can refuse letting you have it. She'll realize for sure what a "nice thing" a squirrel is and she should let you have it!
Your pal Elroy!
 

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Dear Annie
Humans are very odd. They make a big fuss about poo and have special bags to put it in and everything, but just don't understand about all the lovely things there are out there to eat and roll in. Sophy says the only way to really enjoy them is to be a tiny bit deaf at times, or to find a convenient bush to hide behind. If you try to share nice things with humans they throw them away - she says it is something to do with pearls, which I didn't understand. But your human might have been right about the kitten - they grow up into cats and become very, very bossy, just like humans!
Poppy xx
 

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Dear poodle friends,

I think I need your advice in training my human to understand that I am a poodle who deserves to have nice things. I have been prancing and heeling and sitting and giving eye contact and it's just not working.

Two days ago, on a walk, I finally got a hold of the dead squirrel I have been eyeing for MONTHS! It was the stuff a poodle's dreams are made of. Flat, crunchy, dry, well aged.... I have wanted a squirrel of my very own for ever and ever and just pranced with it in my mouth.

And my human made me give it up.

Yesterday we went on a long long boring drive. My human left me in the car while she played with kittens outside the car even though I TOLD her, very loudly, that I WANTED ONE. She even picked one up in front of me and she still didn't get me one.

Today, she took me on a walk by the waterfront. She wouldn't let me have the geese. I could have taken them, there were only 20! What are 20 Canada geese to a poodle? I even did what SHE wanted and posed for this picture even though the geese were RIGHT OVER THERE.

View attachment 482651

Then I found a FISH! It was so big it dragged on the ground when I picked it up. It was nice and smelly and soft and half of it was just spine. Yum!

But she made me drop it!!!

We went to a pet store, and she wouldn't let me have the salmon skin that was RIGHT THERE. I don't care that I throw up when I eat salmon, it smelled so good!

Then she drove home with the back windows open the whole time, even though I got sprinkled with rain, because she said 'she was going to puke if she didn't get some airflow'.

And when we got home, she gave me a bucket bath on the porch, even though the Mom was making my dinner RIGHT THERE INSIDE.

Poodle friends - I am a very good girl. My human tells me that lots and lots. Why won't she let me have nice things?

Your friend,

Annie
Love this! 😂
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
No one tell Annie, but although dried squirrels and stinky fish and salmon are highly unlikely to be on the menu anytime soon, geese might be - if there weren't 20 of them I would likely happily let her harass Canada geese on a public (swimming) beach. I hate goose poop and I know of municipalities that hire dogs to chase the geese off beaches.

Also don't tell Annie, but I am suffering from a massive case of kitten fever.

The kittens were so cute and so cuddly and now I really really want one. They rubbed on my legs, followed me around, tumbled and gambolled and jumped on each other, let me pick them up, purred, etc. One even wanted belly scratches! It's a rare and special cat that will accept belly scratches!

Annie actually stopped yapping at them when I picked one up. I think she realized they were cats (which she has lived with before) not squirrels. If I had had a carrier of some description in the car I would have had a very hard time not kidnapping a kitten.

I am thankfully not quite stupid enough to drive 3 hours in a standard car with a kitten loose and two dogs. I suspect I could have had one for free, since there were two kittens from an older litter, a younger litter, and mama cat looked suspiciously big bellied. I also remind myself that a free cat isn't really free by the time you finish at the vet's office!
 
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