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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So Kallil is a moyan and right now he is 18 inches and about 22 lbs maybe more at 5 months old.. When we go out in public everyone wants to pet him and he of course loves it but for some reason he causes such joy that people grab him and pick him up. Now he has no problem with that either but he is way to large and wiggles out of their grip and ends up almost jumping from their arms. I don't want him to break a leg so I need a polite way to say no or move him away quickly when they go to pick him up.
My little black pom is only 4 lbs and everyone says oooh how cute but they just pet her, and want to wrestle and squeeze and pick up Kallik.
This is not only occasionally but every single time we go out. I have had hunting dogs smaller than he is now and this never ever happened before so do I say no to the petting all together? or when I see them crouch for the pick up do I pull him away?
When I am training him in a store people will leave him alone but a crowd always gathers waiting for me to finish so they can pet him.
Maybe it's a poodle thing but it is the weirdest thing I have ever seen.
 

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A trainer once told me that it is your dog and you are allowed to decline or direct their interaction. In directing they suggested instructing them on how and where to pet your dog if you want to allow them to pet your dog. I decline by just stating thank you, but were training and keep moving. or I tell them you can scratch her under her chin.
 

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That is really bizarre. Is he jumping up on them and/or trying to climb into their arms?

When Gracie was a puppy, a friend picked her up and dropped her from standing height, flat on her back, on a hardwood floor. I still can’t believe she wasn’t injured. Or worse. :(

I would tell people they can pet Kallil, but you’re training, so they can only reward him for keeping all four feet on the ground. Just be calm and assertive and people will respond to your tone.

Definitely don’t pull him away or you’re going to start creating negative associations with the presence of strangers.
 

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Elroy: Standard Poodle 02/20/21
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It's a Poodle thing😍! I haven't had to fight them away, but (almost) everyone loves him. People stop thier cars just to say "what a beautiful dog"! For Elroy, I think that keeping him in a Poodle clip (shaved face/feet/tail, fluffy Top Knot and tail) is a big part of the attraction.
is Kallil in a traditional poodle clip? I'll bet she is!
 

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Luca red tpoo and Matteo blue Spoo
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Please be Kallil's advocate. Set up boundaries so she can chooses when, where and what.

Our Luca, tpoo is also a people magnet. I agree with Tom, it's a Poodle thing. Luca has experienced both kids and adults suddenly, out of the blue, bend over and pick him up. Complete stranger - what is going on in their minds? This resulted in Luca barking every time someone stopped and looked at him. He would bark and back away towards us, as if saying " Get the hell away from me, I'm not cute and you scare me!" Because we weren't attentive enough we had not prevented this. It has taken us a good year of serious training to get him to stop barking at people and sometimes say hello.

Today we scrutinise peoples body language and quickly say he is shy and not always wants to greet. We also tell people that really really (over eager) to turn their heads away, sit and let him come to them. Treats are good aswell. He often just takes the treat and runs.

I wish we had set the boundaries earlier, because Luca wasn't peopleshy to begin with. We unfortunately inadvertently created it. It is really hard work to try and revert the reaction.
 

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People really want to feel what their coat is like. That said, tough on these invasive rude people to pick your dog up without asking. I don't think you need to explain anymore than you would explain if someone wanted to feel your coat just because they wanted to. I don't think any of us should have to concoct an explanation. I just say please don't touch the dog.
 

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Poodle thing for sure. When Thomas (tpoo) was a puppy people would stop their cars to come coo over him. At that point if they asked to hold him, I would pick him up first and then hand him over. I think it was the fluffy poof ball puppy that was attractive. People still ask to pet him but I keep him cut super short and he honestly looks like a generic terrier so it doesn't happen much. With Ethel I get WHAT KIND OF DOODLE IS SHE because heaven forbid you have a large poodle. Everybody wants to hold Jeffrey so I've been doing the same thing I did with Thomas where I pick him up first and hand him over. Fortunately he's getting larger and heavier so that won't last much longer. With all of them if someone does want to pet, I tell them yes or no and point out things like "Ethel likes it if you pet her head poof or on her back". Of course then she'll melt into a poodle puddle ham mode and all bets are off.
 

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I tell people my dogs do not like to be picked up - if they want to greet them or pet them they must bend or crouch down. I make an exception for people in wheelchairs, as long as I am holding the dog. I can only think of one occasion in a dozen years where someone has picked one of the dogs up without asking, and I asked her to put the dog down at once. Far too dangerous, especially with a wriggly puppy. Children get told not to pursue the dog, and to squat and let the dog choose.
 

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I just smile and say "He's not too happy being petted by strangers, but here's a treat if you want to give it to him."

Be firm and say in a nice voice, please don't pick him up. (I once told my five-year-old daughter that if she squeezed the cat he would pee. You could try that.)
I had to laugh about telling your daughter the cat would pee. When our two pups were about four months old, the silver one was still struggling with submissive peeing. One time we were in a pet store, and we made sure to run interference about people not towering over, or exuberantly greeting Nike. With really persistent people, we would shove Wilson (the brave and bodacious) to the front, to give Nike a chance to feel more comfortable. The store owner was the worst, and ignored our warning that the silver pup would pee if she grabbed at him. We were on our way out the door when she popped up in front of us, squealing that all dogs liked her. So, as she reached down, Nike anointed her, a lot. She danced away with her wet shoes, but did admit that we had warned her. Nike eventually out grew his habit, but I am sure that La Jolla shop owner will think twice about how she greets puppies. Too bad she did not listen as well as your daughter!
 

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Evelyn, sable standard poodle
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When people think a dog looks like a stuffed toy they treat it like a stuffed toy. I never had this problem with Evelyn, but I think that's because the people in my complex were largely not dog people and people I actually knew knew better.

I am guilty of letting the neighborhood kids pick Ranna up. I'm finding it harder to say no to them than it would be strangers, but we both need to be better protectors.

Wanna make a pact to say no? 🥺
 

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I don’t think it's poodle thing. Your dog might be asking to be picked up in a subtle way and your eye can’t pick it up. He might be just springing with the back legs, people feel it and they pick him up so he doesn’t fall, or just because he’s so cute.

I would work on him sitting while being petted. Or you can also tell people not to pet him, but it won’t solve the problem.
 

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Evelyn, sable standard poodle
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I don’t think it's poodle thing. Your dog might be asking to be picked up in a subtle way and your eye can’t pick it up. He might be just springing with the back legs, people feel it and they pick him up so he doesn’t fall, or just because he’s so cute.

I would work on him sitting while being petted. Or you can also tell people not to pet him, but it won’t solve the problem.
That also makes sense. Evelyn was not interested in most other people as a puppy, he did not want to be pet, and usually blacked away when others approached.

Ranna is a lot more personable and although I know he doesn't want to be picked up, he does send signals that others might misinterpret as him wanting to be picked up. I know he's really just trying to figure out if you have food when he goes on his back paws (...and steal it if you do), but I could see where others would think otherwise. Although my issue is more the kids thinking he's a cute stuffed animal problem than misreading his signals.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Thank you for all the replies! Kallik could easily pass a novice test , he does not jump but his tail and eyes certainly say hello from a mile away haha. I do think his coat and bouncy walk draw people in and I think I will use the training line even though they wait for me to finish. I don't mind the petting but the picking up is not acceptable as he can jump high out of their arms. He has a lot of growing yet so I hope this will go away soon. It is difficult to squash the joy in people when they see him though and want to snuggle him. I had one guy run up to Kallik and drop to his knees in the snow in a walmart parking lot and scoop him up so fast I did not have time to say anything.
I could keep him ungroomed but then that ragamuffin look might garner even more attention lol.[ That post was sooo cute]
Thank you everyone for your advice I will get very strict on my reaction to an attempted pick up, I just found it so strange as I have had many many breeds of dogs and only my Flat coat and kallik caused this type of reaction. In my head I like all the different colours so it is always a shock as both are pure black and don't stand out but their energy is another story.
 

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When someone sprints your direction, you can quickly take a wider stance while raising your arm to chest level, showing the palm at a right angle. It is a pretty universal stop signal used by traffic officers and others. Speak up and ask them not to race toward your dog. That is dangerous in the first place. Many dogs would bite immediately if someone dropped to their knees in front of them like that. You can say it's for their safety.

Also, you can instead step in front of your dog and use the stop hand signal.
 

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Elroy: Standard Poodle 02/20/21
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You must be giving subliminal signals that it's OK if they pick him up. If you give them "the look" they most likely won't pick him up. I've never had anyone try to pick up Elroy uninvited. Practice your evil eye😡!

(🤣😂)
 

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3ps, knowing down here in the States where we have different cultures in different locales, I don't blame you for this. Rather, I just want to reassure you when out with our Poodles, our dogs' safety, and not perceived politeness, must rule.

A dog who reacts and bites is in danger of losing his/her life - even when provoked as yours has been many times. And a dog would and could rightfully so react with some of the abuse that's been directed at yours.

This is simply a focus shift. We naturally gravitate towards pleasing humans; just once we bring on ownership of a dog and the legal liability that entails, imho our duty shifts to keeping our dog safe from ALL others. And to keep others safe from our dogs. We grow into a more active role as dog owners 😊.

I'm here to support you getting that done, however you make it happen. It's a learning thing and gets easier over time. Just another blessing of dog ownership!
 

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Pixie is reserved. She'll sit and wait and not make eye contact. A little snobbish, she is. 🤣 If she likes you, she'll approach you and give you a dolphin nose poke to pet her.

Maggie is outgoing but reserved. She'll sit and wait for permission to explore and be adored. She's a big girl for a puppy. No one ever tried to pick her up but I'll been told every time we're out that my dog is outstanding, or stunning. I think because you don't see beautiful large black poodles in public everyday,
Dog Dog breed Water dog Carnivore Wood

that people are more respectful. Pixie is apricot and you can see her expressions clearly. Maggie is magickal and mystical in her expressions. Her eyes seem to disappear.
Dog Water dog Carnivore Working animal Dog breed
 

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Excellent chance to control the interaction from the get go. I used to have a similar problem with my Dalmatian where people would race at us (egging on their kids to interact completely inappropriately with a strange dog along the lines of "go give him a hug"!! no kidding). It was also the time when Paw Patrol came out so every single kid thought my Dal was "Marshall". So what I worked on with my trainer of course was to shape his reactions from the unexpected hugging and lunging on him (he was truly bomb proof) - but I also learned that it is up to me to shape the human interaction from the get go. Dog goes into a sit or down and stay and human gets stopped and I would ask "can you help me train him?" Shove a treat into their hand and tell them to ask for a "high five" "sit" or "down"in sequence ...this would interrupt whatever crazy behaviors they were going to go for on their own. With Louie the Poodle funny enough he is not cuddly enough especially with strangers so he would not put up with being picked up - even though he is a Mini. He is polite in greeting people but then completely uninterested in strangers and in a very Poodle fashion clearly shows he is way too special to be fondled by strangers so ignores them.
 

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So Kallil is a moyan and right now he is 18 inches and about 22 lbs maybe more at 5 months old.. When we go out in public everyone wants to pet him and he of course loves it but for some reason he causes such joy that people grab him and pick him up. Now he has no problem with that either but he is way to large and wiggles out of their grip and ends up almost jumping from their arms. I don't want him to break a leg so I need a polite way to say no or move him away quickly when they go to pick him up.
My little black pom is only 4 lbs and everyone says oooh how cute but they just pet her, and want to wrestle and squeeze and pick up Kallik.
This is not only occasionally but every single time we go out. I have had hunting dogs smaller than he is now and this never ever happened before so do I say no to the petting all together? or when I see them crouch for the pick up do I pull him away?
When I am training him in a store people will leave him alone but a crowd always gathers waiting for me to finish so they can pet him.
Maybe it's a poodle thing but it is the weirdest thing I have ever seen.
Wow! I was wondering where you live because no one in my parts of the woods would dare pick up someone’s dog. Anyway, I have two answers for people when they ask to pet Tutto, a small 10 month standard blue poodle. Firstly, I thank them for asking and then I say either : “Yes, but we are training him so he needs to be sitting to be petted. “ OR “Sorry, not right now. We are in training and he needs to sit quietly here while we talk ..( or he needs to keep walking).’ When he was a puppy i also trained him to be petted as part of socializing so sometimes I would walk up to strangers who remarked on him and I would ask if them to pet Tutto.
 
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