Poodle Forum banner

1 - 20 of 38 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,025 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
My sister is trying to get my dad a 1 year old standard poodle. There is absolutely nothing I can do. If she doesn't get this one, she will find another. She's very persuasive.

My dad is almost 80, in poor health, has an unfenced acreage, and doesn't have a clue how to train a dog. He has two knee replacements, can't walk up a flight of stairs without getting out of breath, and his idea of exercising a dog is opening the door. He feeds the cheapest crap he can buy, doesn't go to the vet until things have been happening for months, and doesn't believe in brushing a dog or even going to the groomers. When I told him poodles need grooming every 6 weeks and it's $100+, he said he likes the natural look and can get it groomed every 6 months. He travels up to a month each year.

He changes the cat's water less than once a week and doesn't wash the bowls so they are coated in slime and algae because washing them is too much work. She had a massive uti a few months ago. He did the same with the previous dos bowls. Didn't even bother to wash them until they were encrusted with food residue, even though he has a dishwasher. The kitty litter reeks and is cleaned less than once a month.. Luckily the cat mostly refuses to use it and just goes outside.

I have told them both that they are stupid and the dog is going to be hit by a car. Dad thinks my spoo is great, and the standard poodle he had before I was born that was very jumpy and nuts is a fluke. Yes, Annie is great, but she is almost too much dog for ME and I am far more fit and active. And it takes HOURS of work and training each week to make her an awesome dog who is calm and focused in the house and listens.

If he gets it, the dog will either be dead in a year (we had two dogs killed by cars when I was growing up and I am still angry, and his previous standard was as well), or it will end up at my house. If he doesn't get it, he will get some other dog.

I am really mad. Just ranting here because you will understand how stupid of an idea a young spoo is for an elderly man in poor health who isn't even interested in putting in the effort to keep a water bowl clean.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,528 Posts
I'm so sorry. That is extremely frustrating. At his age there is a very high chance that the dog will outlive him, so you may see what your sister thinks about who will be responsible for the dog at that point. Family can be extremely frustrating when it comes to pet care. It's so easy for conflicts to arise.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,025 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
Oh man. How close do you live to this impending trainwreck?
5 hrs. My sister is 4 hrs.

May I add that my sister is actually a reasonable and responsible dog owner herself, whose dogs are well trained and spoiled. I really don't understand this.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,866 Posts
I'm so sorry. I wish there was some way I could help. It doesn't seem like your dad should have any pets. Is your sister going to help your dad take care of the Standard Poodle?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,255 Posts
Oh no. I hope she cannot find a dog for him. This is so sad.
 
  • Like
Reactions: For Want of Poodle

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
23,162 Posts
How horribly frustrating for you. Keep at your sister maybe you can persuade her to not do this.
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
5,120 Posts
Thinking about this some more and wondering if your sister is perhaps trying to help your dad cope with loneliness or a lack of purpose?

If so, maybe brainstorming some other, more practical ideas together could be productive. You could even approach it from a "Don't want to do anything to stress and potentially worsen dad's health" angle.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,617 Posts
Shooting in the dark here...Has she seen an application for any rescue dogs? He almost certainly couldn't pass. And most responsible breeders wouldn't sell to him. I'm not suggesting that anything other than his feelings about the living conditions and grooming should rule him out.

I know she's looking on his behalf but since you're involved, maybe ask her to review this application and see, if all questions are answered fully and honestly, does she really think his level of care is a good fit for the dog?

Possibly your only chance is a neutral outside party to bring home some hard facts?

464973


I don't like to think of any human not having a dog as a companion if they want one, but proper care for the dog has to fit also.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
9,690 Posts
Yeah, this is a train wreck. Try and stop the train from starting. In your shoes, I would use my own persuasive skills including your father’s advanced age and infirmity to stop my sister from even suggesting this for Dad. No reputable breeder or rescue would consider him. If that’s too harsh, add Spoo life expectancy into a rational discussion. Algae water bowls for color. Best wishes that your sister turns her attention to finding a retirement community rather than a poodle. She needs to think about homes for those poor cats, too.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,617 Posts
and let's talk about matting and the poodle's health

"According to ASPCA Veterinarian Dr. Julie Horton, matted hair can lead to severe medical problems for pets:

  • Even very mild hair mats can cause skin irritation and progress to infected lesions. A wound left unattended can accumulate maggots.
  • Fleas and ticks can live deep in the hair mat—out of the owner’s sight—and infest the animal.
  • Mats around the hind end can cause an accumulation of feces and in severe cases impede defecation.
  • More severe hair mats can cause strangulating wounds, most often seen on an animal’s limb. The mat can grow around the leg in a circumferential fashion causing blood supply to be cut off. In severe but reversible cases, the mat cuts into and sometimes through the skin which can be surgically and medically treated over a long period of time typically weeks to months. In severe but irreversible cases, the mat can cut down to the bone and /or become so tight that blood supply is cut off on that limb requiring amputation.
Dr. Horton provides the following tips for preventing your pet’s hair from matting:

  • In general, mats are extremely uncomfortable for your pet and should be avoided. Owners should be aware of grooming needs based on hair type and breed of the animal. Pets with medium-to-long hair require frequent brushing, some even once daily. Speak with your groomer or veterinarian regarding appropriate brush types for your pet’s hair. Early mild mats can be brushed out. Mats which have progressed require clipping the hair.
  • If you notice a mat which cannot be easily brushed out, your pet should visit a groomer or veterinarian. They can safely clip the mats out and provide instant relief. If a pet is severely matted he may require sedation and full body clipping.
  • NEVER cut mats out with scissors. Your pet can unexpectedly move or jerk resulting in a severe laceration or puncture."
This little guy was left behind in an apartment when his family moved out. He was alone apparently for weeks, found by the manager during a final walkthrough. There's no indication if the matting had started prior to being left alone. According to the story, he survived, wholly intact and now has a new life. There's way too many photos like this on the internet. This one had a happy ending.

464976

464978


464977

464980

 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,025 Posts
Discussion Starter #14
Trainwreck is a good word. And I'm afraid it's long past reasoning with either of them.

Luckily, it seems my sister passed on the dog !!! - she found out it had a health condition and needed medical care. But there will be another.

This has been going on for almost 2 years now, ever since his last dog died. He's been putting it off citing whatever his next trip is (with my full encouragement - "dad, don't get that dog, you're going away for a month and will have to pay for kenneling"). I was hoping to just keep deferring it, but, for once, he isn't planning on a trip. Unfortunately, my sister is heavily involved in dog stuff, and has access to many dogs that are being rehomed that are not in rescues. She often facilitates rehoming nice dogs to friends of hers. She offers him a different dog practically every week. The last one I heard about was a similarly aged German shepherd, which, thankfully, the owner wanted a $1000+ rehoming fee which my dad was too cheap to pay.

No, he would not pass most rescue organizations standards. He's already grumbling and mad because the last dog he told me he wanted, which was a poodle mix rescue, I informed him the rescue organization it was with required a home check, 2 references, a non refundable application fee, and a fenced yard, and an obedience class within the first few months. The home check was the kicker, as I know he'd cheerfully lie. If the rescue hadn't required a home check, I was already planning on calling.

I very much realize that poodles who are not groomed are matted, painful messes. I have told them it is cruel and painful for the dog. He's not worried, and I expect that if he gets a poodle I'll end up shaving the poor thing every time I visit. But, I only visit 3-4 times a year, mostly in the summer, and I am certainly NOT offering to do it, though I'm sure that's what he expects. My sister refuses to believe its an issue. I have told her it's a bad idea, we have discussed it many times over the last 2 years.She is aware of the water bowl issue and kitty litter issue, which had definitely gotten worse in the last year or so.

I should mention this has all happened since my mom left him - our animals were well taken care of prior to that (other than no fence) because she did all the work of feeding, training, cleaning, grooming, etc, etc.

I've also said - if you are lonely and HAVE to have a dog, get a lazy dog like the last one, one that will stick around the house and sleep, not an athletic and active breed, get a breed that sheds, and get a senior, or one at least 3+. He wants a non shedding dog because vacuuming is hard work, and I'm allergic, and he knows he can't guilt me into looking after it when he's away if it sheds.

We won't even start on the "Dad, you should move to a smaller house in the city you don't have to spend so much time cutting grass, cutting firewood, blowing snow, etc" argument.

Anyway - just ranting. No solution here.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,617 Posts
Sorry to hear your sensible view may get overruled. It seems someone, human or dog, will pay a price.

I'd sort of hoped the photos would sway your sister, wasn't thinking it was something you weren't aware of. I'm sorry if it seemed that way.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,025 Posts
Discussion Starter #16 (Edited)
Sorry to hear your sensible view may get overruled. It seems someone, human or dog, will pay a price.

I'd sort of hoped the photos would sway your sister, wasn't thinking it was something you weren't aware of. I'm sorry if it seemed that way.
No worries Rose, I wasn't offended at all. Those pictures are exactly what I have in my head when I hear "au natural poodle"! I may have even shown something similar in one of the arguments. I doubt it would get that bad before he hired a groomer, he's not completely heartless and will fix obvious problems, but he doesn't understand - or believe! - that even small matts in sensitive areas can hurt.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,503 Posts
My sister is trying to get my dad a 1 year old standard poodle. There is absolutely nothing I can do. If she doesn't get this one, she will find another. She's very persuasive.

My dad is almost 80, in poor health, has an unfenced acreage, and doesn't have a clue how to train a dog. He has two knee replacements, can't walk up a flight of stairs without getting out of breath, and his idea of exercising a dog is opening the door. He feeds the cheapest crap he can buy, doesn't go to the vet until things have been happening for months, and doesn't believe in brushing a dog or even going to the groomers. When I told him poodles need grooming every 6 weeks and it's $100+, he said he likes the natural look and can get it groomed every 6 months. He travels up to a month each year.

He changes the cat's water less than once a week and doesn't wash the bowls so they are coated in slime and algae because washing them is too much work. She had a massive uti a few months ago. He did the same with the previous dos bowls. Didn't even bother to wash them until they were encrusted with food residue, even though he has a dishwasher. The kitty litter reeks and is cleaned less than once a month.. Luckily the cat mostly refuses to use it and just goes outside.

I have told them both that they are stupid and the dog is going to be hit by a car. Dad thinks my spoo is great, and the standard poodle he had before I was born that was very jumpy and nuts is a fluke. Yes, Annie is great, but she is almost too much dog for ME and I am far more fit and active. And it takes HOURS of work and training each week to make her an awesome dog who is calm and focused in the house and listens.

If he gets it, the dog will either be dead in a year (we had two dogs killed by cars when I was growing up and I am still angry, and his previous standard was as well), or it will end up at my house. If he doesn't get it, he will get some other dog.

I am really mad. Just ranting here because you will understand how stupid of an idea a young spoo is for an elderly man in poor health who isn't even interested in putting in the effort to keep a water bowl clean.
No one at that age should have a large dog and unless it is confined to a yard they still should not have one. It is such a shame, is your sister willing to take the dog if something happens to your dad. I feel for you
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7 Posts
My sister is trying to get my dad a 1 year old standard poodle. There is absolutely nothing I can do. If she doesn't get this one, she will find another. She's very persuasive.

My dad is almost 80, in poor health, has an unfenced acreage, and doesn't have a clue how to train a dog. He has two knee replacements, can't walk up a flight of stairs without getting out of breath, and his idea of exercising a dog is opening the door. He feeds the cheapest crap he can buy, doesn't go to the vet until things have been happening for months, and doesn't believe in brushing a dog or even going to the groomers. When I told him poodles need grooming every 6 weeks and it's $100+, he said he likes the natural look and can get it groomed every 6 months. He travels up to a month each year.

He changes the cat's water less than once a week and doesn't wash the bowls so they are coated in slime and algae because washing them is too much work. She had a massive uti a few months ago. He did the same with the previous dos bowls. Didn't even bother to wash them until they were encrusted with food residue, even though he has a dishwasher. The kitty litter reeks and is cleaned less than once a month.. Luckily the cat mostly refuses to use it and just goes outside.

I have told them both that they are stupid and the dog is going to be hit by a car. Dad thinks my spoo is great, and the standard poodle he had before I was born that was very jumpy and nuts is a fluke. Yes, Annie is great, but she is almost too much dog for ME and I am far more fit and active. And it takes HOURS of work and training each week to make her an awesome dog who is calm and focused in the house and listens.

If he gets it, the dog will either be dead in a year (we had two dogs killed by cars when I was growing up and I am still angry, and his previous standard was as well), or it will end up at my house. If he doesn't get it, he will get some other dog.

I am really mad. Just ranting here because you will understand how stupid of an idea a young spoo is for an elderly man in poor health who isn't even interested in putting in the effort to keep a water bowl clean.
Hopefully she’ll go to a breeder who will refuse to sell her the dog after understanding the situation. Animal abuse takes many forms.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
81 Posts
I just turned 70, have bad knees but still can get sound under my own power and have a now 7 month old Spoo that is huge. I've had her since she was 8 weeks. She's not been a problem just being big but is very active. We have our outside chores we do twice a day and just hang out the rest of the time. She's not been a problem.... however......I am capable of grooming and clipping to keep top a schedule when a groomer isn't available, clean my water bowls, e.t.c. I care! This old fart doesn't and sounds very lazy (incapacitated maybe) and self centered. The exact type of person who deliberately DOESN'T need a pet of any kind, not even a fish. I also have three other small dogs, seniors, and they have everything they need as well. All this being said, I'd be tempted to sick PETA on him even if he were family. I've made arrangements already for any dogs I might have when I pass so no worries there. I do not have a fenced yard, however, I live on 35 acres and not near a road, dogs don't go out without me, and i do have a 16x16 pen with shelter for those times they need to be out for several hours. I pray this man never gets another pet to torture and neglect. I can see why his wife left him! Sorry to sound so judgemental and harsh but I'm old enough to not care what people might think of me when faced with such a sad, sad situation.
 
1 - 20 of 38 Posts
Top