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Hello Kuriooo,
I am new to this forum, too. I am in a similar situation. I have a 4.5 year old daughter and a 1.5 year old son. I am considering getting a puppy in the next year or so. My daughter has allergies, and I am looking mostly at miniature poodles or a havanese. I joined a havanese forum, and I posted something similar to your post about puppies and young children. I want to share with you one of the funniest replies I got; I could not stop laughing! I hope you enjoy it.

(Someone on the forum wrote this as a response to my asking about Havanese and children):
"Havaese are small for young children, they're more of a lap dog for adults."

(This was the response, that I thought was hilarious!)
"LAP DOG????!!! Mojo CAN be a lap dog, but he is mainly a rough and tumble whirling dervish, hardy, strong, tough and ready for as serious play as any child could want.

Back to the original subject...the best news I can give you is that by the time the puppy is old enough that you can begin to relax about things, you won't remember how incredibly hard it all was!

My grandaughter lives with us, and she was 4 months shy of her 2nd birthday when Mojo the nine week old wild man came home. Constant vigilance isn't too hard to maintain considering you will be running around every waking moment trying to keep things halfway under control. Actually, forget about control, you won't have much...

Maybe (I hope) you'll get a calmer pup than we got, but Mojo seldom had a waking moment that didn't include his sharp puppy teeth snapping at anything within range. I will say that for some reason, Mojo never put a scratch on my granddaughter, while we were bloodied everywhere. He did, however, jump and bite at her clothes, hair and anything else remotely attached to her. Here are some of the highlights you will have to look forward to:

1. The puppy will adore diapers, either clean or dirty. There couldn't be anything more messy when shredded.
2. The puppy will be unable to distinguish between his toys and the toddler's. You will hear constant anguished cries of, "No, MINE!!!!" Expect a few of your toddler's favorite toys to be destroyed, or at least muddied beyond hope.
3. If you are toilet training and using a potty, DO NOT LET THE PUPPY IN THE BATHROOM IF YOUR TODDLER IS POOPING. Trust me, this can go badly.
4. The toddler will likely not be gentle with the puppy, and may be jealous of the attention this new "sibling" is getting. Do not underestimate the danger to the puppy. Do not even think about letting the baby pick up the puppy. My granddaughter had been wonderful with our 15 year old mutt, but the puppy was a whole different deal.
5. The toddler will want to eat, and will succeed in eating, the puppy's food, and vice versa. Feed a human grade food. The toddler will want to play in the puppy's water dish, or even pick it up and dump it out.
6. The toddler's needs and the puppy's needs will be in constant conflict. The puppy will bark and wake your toddler from her nap, or when you have just spent ten minutes very carefully extracting the child from the car seat without waking her up, have successfully gotten her through the door to the house and are just about to gently lay her down in her bed.
7. Any toddler eating or play activity will need to be above the puppy's reach, unless you are using an x-pen. We didn't do this, maybe we should have.
8. I didn't notice if your 2-year-old was a girl or boy, but expect that any hair scrunchies or other adornments will be among the puppy's favorite hit-and-run targets.
9. Everyone will tell you to never chase the puppy. You will chase the puppy. Often.
10. You will have to keep the baby's shoes out of reach. This won't work. You will spend time searching the back yard for the left shoe of the pair that is the only one your toddler will agree to wear to pre-school.
11. You will be late to pre-school, because as you were ready to head out the door, the puppy grabbed A, B or C and you HAD to get it back.
12. You will read many suggestions on how to keep control of the challenges of having a puppy and a toddler simultaneously, and you will think you can just have a well organized set-up and firm rules and strict discipline and training for the puppy and the child, and it will all be fine. It won't. It will be chaos much of the time, and you will be harried and frazzled and exhausted, and you will wonder, a couple of weeks into the deal, how you could have so badly underestimated the challenge you were taking on.
13. After the first 4 months, it will all begin to get easier, and by the time the puppy is 8 months old you will have mostly forgotten the crazy early weeks and months.

But...you will have lovely moments shared between toddler and puppy, hilarious anecdotes for dinner guests, and they will adore each other. And the insanity is only a short interlude in a longer and very rewarding relationship between the puppy and his family. I would do it all again...I think...

We chose a Havanese specifically because we wanted a toy breed that was physically tough. You will have to be careful for the puppy's safety while he's small, but he will be an excellent match for your children once he's grown.

I will have to remind Mojo, who can play hard for hours, run 2 miles with me every day (probably could do more, but I can't), and is strong as an ox, that he is a lap dog; I am still laughing over this. He will cuddle when he's tired, for a few minutes, anyway...but I think he merely puts up with it, rather than seeking it out."
__________________
Happy Mom...
of a Happy Hav
 
Discussion starter · #22 ·
Skye,

This was HILARIOUS! It had me doubled-over laughing silently as the kids "nap."

I'm sure there is a great story behind point #3 (toilet training). Please feel free to share. This is probably a very crucial piece of advice if I get a puppy. :)

Baby was throwing up all night, kids have both been cranky, and this post MADE MY DAY!

Thanks!
 
I've got to say I have somewhat different thoughts on the whole matter. We got our first spoo Rusty a few months after we were married and when we started having kids 4 years later he was wonderful with them. Rusty passed away while I was preg. with our third child. We adopted Sport a 4 year old spoo when my third was 1 1/2, my second was 3 1/2 and my oldest was 9. He was amazing with the kids even though he had been a kennel dog before we got him. You couldn't have asked for a kinder sweeter soul. Sadly we lost him a few weeks ago and seriously miss him. We added to our furry family over a year ago when we got 2 puppies (litter sisters) Betty Jo and Jenny.

Sometimes it gets a little crazy here. But it sure is working for us. The kids adore the dogs. They have been wonderful with the kids. Sure there have been the occasional problem. But usually when someone growls at the kids everyone gets in trouble. The dog(s) as they are not allowed to growl at the kids no matter what and the kids for doing whatever made the dog growl. Yes I do have to keep tabs on everyone but hey that is part of life. Then again my kids lay on, snuggle, brush, play with and generally adore Betty Jo and Jenny and they are great with them. The kids all want to sleep with them at night.

As far as I'm concerned you have to be sure that you make time for everyone kids and dogs and make sure that you are absolutely fair with everyone. As well it is critical that you spend the time with kids and dogs to teach them how you expect them to behave to each other. My kids are not allowed to be rough with the dogs and if they are I'm quick to remind them how would you like it if someone did that to you? They usually say they wouldn't like it. So then don't do it to the dog.

I think that kids are taught so many wonderful life lessons with dogs. Its a wonderful thing to be able to see them grow up together.
Totally agree!!!!
 
I think you have gotten some wonderful advice on here! Good thing you asked for it :)

We got an older puppy and like you I had some reservations about it being "too late" for the socializing, but it turned out to be fine with our boy. I'm not saying that EVERY puppy would be fine, but if your breeder is responsible and is breeding for wonderful temperaments AND good conformation, then socializing shouldn't be an issue.

Gentry was 10 months old when we got him and he took to our noisy household like a fish to water! We have other kids over to play sometimes, and there is a lot of running, yelling, squealing and toy throwing and Gentry mostly spends that time sprawled out on the bean bag, well out of the way of the crazy kids :) Does he make mistakes and bark sometimes? Sure, but I don't allow it. I'm right there, on it instantly and he settles right back down. Gentry is VERY mellow and I'm thankful for that daily!

Good luck in your puppy search!!
 
Hello Kuriooo,
I am new to this forum, too. I am in a similar situation. I have a 4.5 year old daughter and a 1.5 year old son. I am considering getting a puppy in the next year or so. My daughter has allergies, and I am looking mostly at miniature poodles or a havanese. I joined a havanese forum, and I posted something similar to your post about puppies and young children. I want to share with you one of the funniest replies I got; I could not stop laughing! I hope you enjoy it.

(Someone on the forum wrote this as a response to my asking about Havanese and children):
"Havaese are small for young children, they're more of a lap dog for adults."

(This was the response, that I thought was hilarious!)
"LAP DOG????!!! Mojo CAN be a lap dog, but he is mainly a rough and tumble whirling dervish, hardy, strong, tough and ready for as serious play as any child could want.

Back to the original subject...the best news I can give you is that by the time the puppy is old enough that you can begin to relax about things, you won't remember how incredibly hard it all was!

My grandaughter lives with us, and she was 4 months shy of her 2nd birthday when Mojo the nine week old wild man came home. Constant vigilance isn't too hard to maintain considering you will be running around every waking moment trying to keep things halfway under control. Actually, forget about control, you won't have much...

Maybe (I hope) you'll get a calmer pup than we got, but Mojo seldom had a waking moment that didn't include his sharp puppy teeth snapping at anything within range. I will say that for some reason, Mojo never put a scratch on my granddaughter, while we were bloodied everywhere. He did, however, jump and bite at her clothes, hair and anything else remotely attached to her. Here are some of the highlights you will have to look forward to:

1. The puppy will adore diapers, either clean or dirty. There couldn't be anything more messy when shredded.
2. The puppy will be unable to distinguish between his toys and the toddler's. You will hear constant anguished cries of, "No, MINE!!!!" Expect a few of your toddler's favorite toys to be destroyed, or at least muddied beyond hope.
3. If you are toilet training and using a potty, DO NOT LET THE PUPPY IN THE BATHROOM IF YOUR TODDLER IS POOPING. Trust me, this can go badly.
4. The toddler will likely not be gentle with the puppy, and may be jealous of the attention this new "sibling" is getting. Do not underestimate the danger to the puppy. Do not even think about letting the baby pick up the puppy. My granddaughter had been wonderful with our 15 year old mutt, but the puppy was a whole different deal.
5. The toddler will want to eat, and will succeed in eating, the puppy's food, and vice versa. Feed a human grade food. The toddler will want to play in the puppy's water dish, or even pick it up and dump it out.
6. The toddler's needs and the puppy's needs will be in constant conflict. The puppy will bark and wake your toddler from her nap, or when you have just spent ten minutes very carefully extracting the child from the car seat without waking her up, have successfully gotten her through the door to the house and are just about to gently lay her down in her bed.
7. Any toddler eating or play activity will need to be above the puppy's reach, unless you are using an x-pen. We didn't do this, maybe we should have.
8. I didn't notice if your 2-year-old was a girl or boy, but expect that any hair scrunchies or other adornments will be among the puppy's favorite hit-and-run targets.
9. Everyone will tell you to never chase the puppy. You will chase the puppy. Often.
10. You will have to keep the baby's shoes out of reach. This won't work. You will spend time searching the back yard for the left shoe of the pair that is the only one your toddler will agree to wear to pre-school.
11. You will be late to pre-school, because as you were ready to head out the door, the puppy grabbed A, B or C and you HAD to get it back.
12. You will read many suggestions on how to keep control of the challenges of having a puppy and a toddler simultaneously, and you will think you can just have a well organized set-up and firm rules and strict discipline and training for the puppy and the child, and it will all be fine. It won't. It will be chaos much of the time, and you will be harried and frazzled and exhausted, and you will wonder, a couple of weeks into the deal, how you could have so badly underestimated the challenge you were taking on.
13. After the first 4 months, it will all begin to get easier, and by the time the puppy is 8 months old you will have mostly forgotten the crazy early weeks and months.

But...you will have lovely moments shared between toddler and puppy, hilarious anecdotes for dinner guests, and they will adore each other. And the insanity is only a short interlude in a longer and very rewarding relationship between the puppy and his family. I would do it all again...I think...

We chose a Havanese specifically because we wanted a toy breed that was physically tough. You will have to be careful for the puppy's safety while he's small, but he will be an excellent match for your children once he's grown.

I will have to remind Mojo, who can play hard for hours, run 2 miles with me every day (probably could do more, but I can't), and is strong as an ox, that he is a lap dog; I am still laughing over this. He will cuddle when he's tired, for a few minutes, anyway...but I think he merely puts up with it, rather than seeking it out."
__________________
Happy Mom...
of a Happy Hav
Very well put!
 
Very well put!
Brillant! I would just add that you consider the exercise needs of the dog. A quick run in the park is not enough for a young Standard poodle and many dog end up very behavioral problems because their exercise needs are not met. Ask yourself, how will I meet the time/emotional/mental requirements for each of these living beings in my care (plus hubby's needs?) every 24 hrs and not be exhausted and burned out? Give it a dry run BEFORE you get your pup. Practice getting up pottying, feeding, training a pup throughout the day and night, now with your current schedule and caring for your family.

And please think about what kind of time will be spent with the dog when in a few years when you're working, keeping yourself healthy and fit kids in school/extra activities. Do the MATH (seriously:)), there are only 24 hours in a day. Can you say BURNOUT? After the homework is done, the dishes are clean and everyone's relaxed who takes the dog for a 45 min walk/run/training so it can mentally/physically relax after being home alone all day.

Remember, excerise, disipline, then affection. In that order! Everybody wants to give affection, affection, affection and thinks that it will make things better but you have to consider a DOG'S NEEDS first before you get a dog. Love and raise your children, take care of your family hubby and self. When kids are gone get a large, time consuming dog, you'll plenty of time/energy to deal with any issues that arise. You've made a choice to have family w/children and that must come first before all else until they can care for themselves.

No other animal on the planet tries to do so many other things that interfere with raising their families, just us smart humans! We can't have it all at once there still only 24hrs in a day.
 
I don't have children (yet), but I do have a puppy (14 weeks) and he's a very good boy, but it's definitely hard. He's teething, so he wants to chew on everything (skin, hair, clothes, your towel as you come out of the shower, shoes, the couch, the carpet, the kitchen cabinets), pounce on everything that moves, and requires constant attention. Then add the potty training in--he can't roam the house at all. I have to watch him every second, and bring him out to potty every fews hours, plus after naps or rowdy plan sessions (he always seems to have to go after playing hard for a while). He's always on a leash with me, in the x-pen (which he hates, so he whines are cries for a while until he settles down with a chew toy) or in his crate (only at night for sleeping). I walk him two to three times a day (and he's just a miniature, not a standard). I can't imagine doing this with a toddler or two, but then again, I can't imagine having a toddler at all since I've never had kids!

If it were me, I'd probably go for an older puppy or adult. It will still be hard to have a dog with kids, but not as hard as puppyhood. I love my puppy, but I won't lie, it's definitely hard work when they're young. Worth it, of course, but hard.
 
It really is like having another child/toddler. For awhile, you'll feel like you have twins (your toddler and your puppy). Is it worth it? I hope so. I've already seen some great things happen because of our puppy. Even though it is hard work, I think some things are easier with having kids. You are already in the mind set of baby proofing things. It's second nature to make sure the dangerous things are put away. Baby gates are already in place. You are use to spills and messes. I think some of the puppy things that happen are easier to cope with because they are the same things your toddler or preschooler already do. You are use to them. If you are out of the baby proofing stage you tend to forget those kind of things. . .until the puppy reminds you. Hope that makes sense.

The best thing that has helped me besides having a supportive spouse is having a wonderful breeder. I think that is one of the most important things you can do to make having kids and having a puppy successful. My breeder places puppies based on temperment testing. She made sure that the puppy we got would be great with our family, and he is. She worked on house breaking and crate training. Since she watches her grandson, the puppies are very use to small children and very use to the home enviroment. The transition to the puppy living with us has been so much smoother because of our breeder. I shudder to think what life would be like if we hadn't been so wise in our choice.

One last thing. Sorry so long. How are your kids with dogs? I think your children's personalities make a huge difference. My daughters are naturals with dogs. My son not so much but he really is learning quickly. My friend who also got a puppy while having small kids had a much harder time. Why? Because she chose a BYB and because her kids were terrified of dogs. I think it would have been easier for her if she'd have waited until they were older. Her dog is an outside dog for most of the year now because of how her kids are around the dog. HTH.
 
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