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Discussion Starter #1
Hi everyone,
My name is Jamie and I lost my precious boy Duke a month ago today. He was a beautiful brown toy poodle who lived until a day after his 15 th bday. He was so amazing and I miss him so much.
Since he was so perfect, I told myself I’d never get another pup after him. But I find myself longing for another little poodle. Well, I just want my boy back but I think he would want me to be happy and I think bringing another pup home could help. I miss caring for another being. Has anyone had this experience?
Thank you for reading.
Jamie
 

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I am so sorry to hear of your loss, and understand absolutely the craving for another companion. I think there are few better accolades for a much loved, much missed dog than finding another pup to share all that they taught us, never to replace, but to help fill the huge hole they leave behind. No pup can ever be quite like Duke, of course - he or she will have their own tricks and traits, and a puppy can be hard work after the easy familiarity of long years lived together - but each makes their own place in our hearts and lives. Puppies are in short supply at the moment, so be prepared for considerable research and perhaps a longish wait.
 

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I am so sorry to hear of your loss, and understand absolutely the craving for another companion. I think there are few better accolades for a much loved, much missed dog than finding another pup to share all that they taught us, never to replace, but to help fill the huge hole they leave behind. No pup can ever be quite like Duke, of course - he or she will have their own tricks and traits, and a puppy can be hard work after the easy familiarity of long years lived together - but each makes their own place in our hearts and lives. Puppies are in short supply at the moment, so be prepared for considerable research and perhaps a longish wait.
Thank you FJM for your reply. I am hurting so bad. I miss my boy like crazy. I am not even sure if I'm ready for a pup, but I am getting there. Thank you again for your response.

Jamie
 

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I completely understand how you feel and agree with fjm on a new pup being a way to honor the past relationship in the act of keeping your heart open.
 

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I completely understand how you feel and agree with fjm on a new pup being a way to honor the past relationship in the act of keeping your heart open.
Thank you so much. Have you been in this situation? How long did you wait? It has been 4 weeks for me today, 28 days, as of 11:30am my time :-( Missing my guy so much. Feels like an eternity without him.
 

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I have adopted many senior dogs over the years, so have also said goodbye to many dogs. I have never waited to have another dog in my home. It isn't doing anything to take away from the love and memory of the dog you lost. It is bringing in a new dog to love and take care of, while always remembering the love you have shared with your previous dog. Some people aren't ready for years, while others are ready right away. There is no right or wrong answers to this. Sorry for your loss.
 

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I have adopted many senior dogs over the years, so have also said goodbye to many dogs. I have never waited to have another dog in my home. It isn't doing anything to take away from the love and memory of the dog you lost. It is bringing in a new dog to love and take care of, while always remembering the love you have shared with your previous dog. Some people aren't ready for years, while others are ready right away. There is no right or wrong answers to this. Sorry for your loss.
Thank you so much! Your words are very comforting. Thank you for adopting senior dogs. That is wonderful
 

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I too have experience like you - so very hard. Feels like your heart has collapsed. For many years I worked with Springer Spaniel rescue - loved so many of them. We had a senior for seniors program that matched up senior dogs with senior citizens at no charge. I was always sorry to hear that one or the other dogs that I had fostered had passed.
For me, I would honor Duke with your new companion, maybe can mend broken hearts. ((HUGS))
 

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Peggy Sue, Standard Poodle Born May 2019
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I’m so sorry. :( There’s no way to rush the grieving process. Just feel what you need to feel, for as long as you need to feel it, and know that you’ve got plenty of poodle lovers here who are happy to empathize or just offer an ear.

Saying goodbye to my girl Gracie was overwhelmingly the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. She was my sidekick, my constant companion, my best friend. She was with me through my 20s and 30s, through my most formative years. There is no replacing her or what we had.

But I’m a dog person. I need a dog in my life.

The way I did it was by fostering. I felt like helping a dog out of a bad situation and into their forever home would be a mutual gift of healing and I was right. The day after we moved our foster girl in with her new family, we brought Peggy home.

Do I wish I’d waited? Yes, but only because I hadn’t yet found Poodle Forum. I really could have benefited from all I’ve since learned here about locating a good breeder and choosing the right puppy. Gracie was an impulse buy, a gut feeling. I thought I could recreate that experience. But that’s not really how life works.

Would love to see some photos of your Duke. :)
 

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Welcome!

Most of us have gone thru this heart shattering experience, so you'll find much company here. For me and my DH, the quiet was just too quiet so, still grieving our losses of our two girls three months apart, three months after we lost Holly we started looking.
 

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Hugs to you.

The lovely year of 2020 started with me losing my heart dog, Snarky. I immediately got a puppy, as I thought Snarky's littermate Pogo was lonely.

There were a couple of things that really surprised me as I grieved for Snarky. One was how guilty I felt for all the missed opportunities.The days I worked late. The walks we never took. The scent class I never enrolled him in. The times I pushed his nose away because I was reading.

The other is how angry I was at puppy Galen for not being Snarky. The rational side of me knows my anger was completely ridiculous and unfair. Galen is Galen; he can't be expected to be something he's not. Emotions aren't always rational however. Getting over Snarky required me to come to terms with Galen being a different dog with different doggy quirks and interests.
 

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Thank you everyone for posting. My mind is all over the place. Sometimes I want a puppy, sometimes I just am OK with being here with Duke's spirit. I am just very, very lonely. I live alone, have no children, and am single. I am not sure if getting a puppy is the best idea. I feel so spoiled b/c Duke was so perfect. He was my first dog that was all mine! It was just me and him, for years and years and years. I miss him so much. Here's my little man. It's still hard to look at pictures of him. Honestly I am not even sure if he was 100% poodle. My Mom got him online (before we had any idea that was not a good thing!) from a breeder back in 2005, without knowing much about him, but he sure was cute! I had to take him at I think about 6 months b/c my Mom couldn't care for him. And the rest is history!
 

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Mia, Christmas in June 2010
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I'm tearing up reading these posts, remembering beloved dogs and anticipating the day that I lose my current dog, Mia. There's something special about your first "own" dog that sets the standard for all dogs to come. I'm so terribly sorry to read about your loss, and whatever you decide and whenever you decide it, your new dog will be fortunate to follow in Duke's steps.
 

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Thank you everyone for posting. My mind is all over the place. Sometimes I want a puppy, sometimes I just am OK with being here with Duke's spirit. I am just very, very lonely. I live alone, have no children, and am single. I am not sure if getting a puppy is the best idea. I feel so spoiled b/c Duke was so perfect. He was my first dog that was all mine! It was just me and him, for years and years and years. I miss him so much. Here's my little man. It's still hard to look at pictures of him. Honestly I am not even sure if he was 100% poodle. My Mom got him online (before we had any idea that was not a good thing!) from a breeder back in 2005, without knowing much about him, but he sure was cute! I had to take him at I think about 6 months b/c my Mom couldn't care for him. And the rest is history!
We are here for you. Everyone works through grief in their own time and way.
 

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I'm tearing up reading these posts, remembering beloved dogs and anticipating the day that I lose my current dog, Mia. There's something special about your first "own" dog that sets the standard for all dogs to come. I'm so terribly sorry to read about your loss, and whatever you decide and whenever you decide it, your new dog will be fortunate to follow in Duke's steps.
Yes--it is really special. He really was my "heart" dog, and I am semi-terrified knowing that there will be no other dog like him. This is the hardest thing I've ever been through in my life. I've lost grandparents, and friends, I am lucky to still have my parents. But Duke? He was my boy. My everything! My soulmate. I will miss and love him everyday for the rest of my life. Thank you for your replies!
 

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Dukeforever2020,

Your posts really hit home for me. You may feel like you don’t have room in your heart for another dog, but I promise you do! I was shocked. I felt like the Grinch when I got my second dog: my heart grew three sizes to accommodate!

Like so many others have said, there’s not a right answer about when or if you have another dog, but don’t worry about “replacing” Duke. Your new BFF will have a new part of your heart and Duke can keep his.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

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Reading your post and looking at your pictures made me tear up. Your loss of Duke is still VERY new. Losing a beloved life partner of 15 years is so hard.

I wasn’t in your exact circumstance, much less so. But I got a miniature poodle when I was in middle school. He was my poodle, although only as much as a kid that can’t drive or financially support a dog can have one. He couldn’t come with me when I moved out at 19, but I was only 15 minutes away.
In his old age many years later, he suddenly declined. I took off work and stayed at my mom’s, caring for him 24/7 for a week until he died. I was so struck with grief that I finagled a few more days off, I would’ve taken a month if I could. The pain was intense.

It’s been 6 years as of this month and I still get teary when I think about losing him. But mostly I just think about how awesome he was and how lucky I was to have him.

It took a long time for my living circumstances to allow a dog as an adult. Now I have a dog that’s truly my own I will never be without one again. I hope to have 15 years with her, even though it will never be nearly long enough.

Thank you for sharing Duke and your heavy heart with us. You came to the right place. You will know when you’re ready for another dog. Your heart won’t ever be quite the same, but it will heal to allow you to give your love to the next lucky poodle.
 

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Reading your post and looking at your pictures made me tear up. Your loss of Duke is still VERY new. Losing a beloved life partner of 15 years is so hard.

I wasn’t in your exact circumstance, much less so. But I got a miniature poodle when I was in middle school. He was my poodle, although only as much as a kid that can’t drive or financially support a dog can have one. He couldn’t come with me when I moved out at 19, but I was only 15 minutes away.
In his old age many years later, he suddenly declined. I took off work and stayed at my mom’s, caring for him 24/7 for a week until he died. I was so struck with grief that I finagled a few more days off, I would’ve taken a month if I could. The pain was intense.

It’s been 6 years as of this month and I still get teary when I think about losing him. But mostly I just think about how awesome he was and how lucky I was to have him.

It took a long time for my living circumstances to allow a dog as an adult. Now I have a dog that’s truly my own I will never be without one again. I hope to have 15 years with her, even though it will never be nearly long enough.

Thank you for sharing Duke and your heavy heart with us. You came to the right place. You will know when you’re ready for another dog. Your heart won’t ever be quite the same, but it will heal to allow you to give your love to the next lucky poodle.
Thank you so much for your reply. I was so lucky to have 15 years with my boy. He passed the day after his 15th bday, and I know he stayed alive and fought for me, b/c I wanted so badly for him to make it to his 15th bday. It will make for an extra hard two days next year back to back, but I won't think about that now.

I live alone, so it's really lonely. He was diabetic, so our routine was down pat. I miss it, although every morning I wake up now and tell him Dukey! Guess what? No insulin today big boy! I miss giving him his insulin shots but it makes me feel good knowing that now he doesn't even need insulin! That is a great thought.

Esp w Covid, I haven't been able to get a hug or anything and that has been really hard. I miss my pup so much :-( I have started to look around for toy poodle breeders. I think I am lonely, so I'm not sure if I'm just wanting to fill that lonely void or if I actually want another pup. I just miss my boy and want him back so badly. I can't even look at his pictures anymore without sobbing :-(

Thank you everyone for your posts. Trying to stay strong today!

Hugs to everyone,

Jamie
 

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I know that feeling only too well - I cried every day for a year for my darling Flissy. I would start looking - get the word out, talk to good breeders, ask about possibly suitable rescues or returns. And hold Duke in your heart and let him help guide you - it will keep your instincts sound.
 
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