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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Poodles of Poodle Forum,

Our home is under attack and the humans do not care. There is an invader in a big white suit spraying water so hard, I am positive he is trying to break the windows...maybe even the door! Please tell me what to do. The humans just keep feeding me treats for being “calm.” Don’t tell them, but I’m totally faking it. This is not a time for calm.

Kind regards,
Peggy Sue

P.S. The humans told me to tell you the invader is in fact “a painter,” and that he is “pressure washing” the house before he “paints.” I don’t know what any of this means, and frankly I do not care.

Alerting the humans
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Showing them where the invader just was
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Looking at the human but listening to the invader
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Faking calm so at least I can enjoy a snack on this miserable day
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Hello Peggy,

This is Misha. I am confused by your description. Is the invader a big white creature or a human inside of a creature-coat? I feel this is important to discover. If it is not human, I totally agree with you that you need to communicate to your humans that they are missing the very real danger.

If the invader is a disguised human, this changes everything entirely. He or she might have treats in their pockets. Perhaps they even understand the concept of ball. Surely they could learn to play with you if you spell it out for them. You could be missing out on some great fun.

Perhaps you could find a way to sniff the invader and let me know what you find.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Hello Peggy,

This is Misha. I am confused by your description. Is the invader a big white creature or a human inside of a creature-coat? I feel this is important to discover. If it is not human, I totally agree with you that you need to communicate to your humans that they are missing the very real danger.

If the invader is a disguised human, this changes everything entirely. He or she might have treats in their pockets. Perhaps they even understand the concept of ball. Surely they could learn to play with you if you spell it out for them. You could be missing out on some great fun.

Perhaps you could find a way to sniff the invader and let me know what you find.
Misha,

My human took me outside to meet the invader. She clearly has no regard for my well-being. Apparently his name is “David” and he is human, too, but he doesn’t smell like treats or fun toys. In fact, he kind of burns my nose!

He was holding a very long snake. It nearly wrapped all the way around the house! I told him I like snakes, so I suppose we have that in common. I started to tell him about the ones I find in the garden, but my human told me to hush and stuck a treat in my mouth. It was tasty, but still. The nerve.

I’m back inside now, plotting my next move. But I’ve missed my morning nap so my eyes keep closing.

Concerned,
Peggy Sue
 

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Dear Peggy

Humans do weird things like having people climb on their houses and then don't react logically to the problem. I learned as a puppy the best thing to do is to have a nap when there is someone outside doing banging things on the house, because my human gets BORING. After the banging clanging person is gone, I suggest requesting a walk, usually the humans feel suitably guilty and will oblige.

Xoxo Annie


Trixie says:

Barking is the best solution in this scenario and by far the most profitable. If the creature persists in their invasions, I suggest telling your humans to lift you onto their bed so you can be safe, and requesting a cuddle session.

Stay safe,

Trixie
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Dear Peggy

Humans do weird things like having people climb on their houses and then don't react logically to the problem. I learned as a puppy the best thing to do is to have a nap when there is someone outside doing banging things on the house, because my human gets BORING. After the banging clanging person is gone, I suggest requesting a walk, usually the humans feel suitably guilty and will oblige.

Xoxo Annie


Trixie says:

Barking is the best solution in this scenario and by far the most profitable. If the creature persists in their invasions, I suggest telling your humans to lift you onto their bed so you can be safe, and requesting a cuddle session.

Stay safe,

Trixie
Annie and Trixie,

I’m trying both your approaches to see which works best on my human. In addition to being oblivious to the obvious threat, she really has gotten extremely boring, and apparently this will be going on all week?? Unacceptable.

I’ve also been told this “painter” will be working INSIDE our house next. He’d better bring treats or I’m moving. Let the humans fend for themselves.

Peggy Sue
 

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Yes I agree with the other answers. You see Peggy when you see a problem or a danger but your humans dont see it or respond in adequate panic to your alerts then the best thing to do is to bark even louder. In fact I would say its essential. There are other tools available to a dutyful dog such as yourself. Howling, scratcing at the doors and windows (preferably right on the glass for maximum impact) are all options too. Considering the seriousness of this situation I think its time for you to resort to any means possible to get your humans to take this seriously. After all their safety is your responsibility!
 

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Peggy, I once watched out of the bathroom window as men stole the whole kitchen from the house opposite and then stole the windows and then started knocking down the walls!! And my Mum just sat in the bath or cleaned her teeth and told me to hush because they were allowed!!! It's bad enough when the flappy flappy bang bang thing comes round - if people start stealing big chunks of our house I think it might take more than treats or a silly song to keep me from stopping them! So I think your humans should be very grateful to you for warning them, and looking after things.

But we have a David and he is lovely and has very good treats, so it might be worth just checking this chap's pockets. You can always chase him away later.

Poppy xxx
 

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Dear Peggy,

I too have witnessed similar unidentified humans approaching the house, but wearing a blue vest. Just yesterday infact. The mysterious figure deposited a brown box by the door step. It appeared as though my initial warnings weren't effective.. too quiet. So I used my big girl voice! Success. Apply your inner big girl voice and you will make the white suit invader tuck his tail too and scare him away.

Your humans will reward your valient and courageous effort. Stay strong.

Basil
 

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It is very tiring being on guard all day long. I think you should take your humans somewhere nice and peaceful for an all day picnic, with ice cream to follow. That's what my Mum does when the invaders get too close for too long (although I haven't had ice cream now for ages and ages and ages - Mum mutters something about too much fat and won't buy it for me...).

Poppy xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Poodle family,

I keep falling asleep on watch duty. I wish you were all closer and could take a shift or two.

I politely asked the humans if we could have an ice cream day like Poppy recommended, but they said something about “work.” I don’t know what they’re talking about. All they do is sit around.

The one good thing about today is that every time the invader scrapes extra hard at the walls, a treat falls from the sky. And sometimes when I’m just sitting here quietly, thinking about how weird humans are, even more treats appear. Guess I’ll just keep doing that.

But first I might take a break and chew on my sheepskin.... It’s good for stress.

Peggy Sue

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Update: My curiosity has gotten the best of me. I can’t stop watching David. Oops. I mean the invader.

If I’m being completely honest with myself (and with you, poodle family) he’s doing some pretty neat things. Much more interesting than even horses on TV!

Plus, if I stand and stare quietly enough, maybe he’ll let me play with some of his fun “painter” toys. He’s got all sorts of them today! Plastic ones. I loooooove chewing on plastic. And buckets! Have you ever drank out of a bucket? It’s the best.

There’s also a thing that looks like steps but different? I might like to try climbing that....


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Now please excuse me. He’s moved to the other side of the house now and I need to secure a front row seat!
 

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Peggy, I thought about you and the Invader today. That big green truck came that steals things out of our garbage cans went up and down our street. I tried to scare it off, I really did, but She made me sit on my mat. (PLACE indeed!)

Then all of a sudden loud beeps started happening in our kitchen and I smelled a wonderful burned smell and She and He were climbing the wall to stop the beeping. It was all too much. I had to leave my mat to tell them what to do.

Humans need their poodles. Poor things are lost without us.
 

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I really HATE that screaming beeping sound - it is horrible and scary and makes me feel all jumpy inside! When it happened at our house I ran away and hid under the car - I was so frightened that Mum moved the beepy things to make them easier to stop. It happens sometimes when we are visiting her sister's house, and now I hide when I smell them making toast or cooking bacon there.

Do your big garbage stealing lorries talk? Ours do, and it is very strange and peculiar. They go Beep, Beep, something strange in human words, Beep, Beep... The men who steal the rubbish are very nice, though, and always stop to talk to us. When I was a puppy one of them was scary and went all flappy and shaking his leg at me and i wanted him to go away and told him so, but just after that we met some more of them out on a walk in the same big shiny coats and everything and they were really kind and got down so I could smell them properly and gave me scrummies and talked to me for ages, so after that I check to see if they are the nice ones and they usually are.

Is David still an Invader, Peggy, or has he become ordinary?

Poppy xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
s David still an Invader, Peggy, or has he become ordinary?
Maybe not an invader, but I am not 100% convinced his intentions are good, Poppy. Yesterday, he left without playing with me even once, which I found very rude, I stood at the top of the garden and watched while he put all his toys into the van. I thought he had to be playing a joke on me. I hopped a few times, to let him know I really did want to play, but I was very quiet and polite. Honest. And then he just drove away!

The good news is that I got to explore his funny steps a little. I gave them a really good sniff. When I tried to go up, my human said “ah ah,” so I’ll have to try again when she’s not looking.

Here I am offering David my sheepskin, because it’s polite to share:

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Poodles,

I’m almost too stressed to type. Today the WHOLE HOUSE got wrapped up in plastic. THE WHOLE HOUSE. All I see out the windows are scary shadows. If “David” is such a good guy, why doesn’t he want me to see what he’s doing out there??

Okay, sure I’m getting lots of yummy steak.

And okay, yes I’m getting to play lots of my favourite games, like find-the-toy-wrapped-in-the-paper-stuffed-inside-the-box.

But my morning naps have really suffered.

I’m going to go chew on my purple bone now. The human keeps sticking stuff in the ends and I have to get it out for her. :rolleyes:

Hoping my next update is a little more positive.

Peggy Sue
 
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