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Wow I was just thinking and I can't believe its about to be 5 years since I said good-bye to her.

I met Princess Melissa about 5 months before she came to live with me. My mother ran an assisted living home and Princess belonged to one of her residents. The first time I met Princess her owner was letting her outside to potty and her owner became faint, they handed Princess off to me and told me to take her inside to one of the resident assistents to put her back in their suite. Her owner was just fine after a few minutes and they were reunited. Though it wasn't long before her owner became ill, her final wishes were that my mother take Princess and give her a good home. (none of the ladys family wanted to dog and the dog would have ended up in the shelter)

So we got a call while we were vacationing in Disney World that Princess would be waiting for us at the vet clinic when we returned home, because her owner had passed. (Now my mother didn't want another dog but she felt obligated)

I was 14 years old when Princess came to live with us and it was the best day of my life. She quickly became my dog, she never left my side. She helped me through those really hard high school years and she helped me get well again when I was ill. I'm not so sure I'd be here today if it wasn't for her. She was a real blessing, a real guardian angel. I didn't have it easy at home. Don't get me wrong I love my family but we never saw eye to eye. And in school I didn't have a lot of friends but Princess was my confidant, my most loyal friend.

The next few years passed quickly and my senior year of high school came, that spring Princess began to go downhill very quickly. I think I was the only reason she was still holding on. They had recently done a lot of tests on her and she wasn't sick, the vet said she was just getting old. She lost control of her bladder that April. I spent probably that January through May just spending as much time with her as I could, taking care of her. When may rolled around I was tired, but not nearly as tired as Princess. Why hadn't my parents put her down? They felt that it had to be my decision. And that I would know when the time was right. They felt if they took another dog away from me I would never forgive them (Long story).

My last day of my senior year came and I came home as usual and spent a few minutes with Princess. Ate a snack and headed off to work. I got a call right before I got off work from my parents saying, "Get home as soon as you can, Princess isn't well".

She had gotten very sick that evening while I was at work, she had vomited a lot and she had diarea and my parents said they had never seen such a mess. I took her to my room that night and snuggled her for awhile. But she had to go back to the kitchen to sleep at the point. (since January she had been sleeping in her crate in the kitchen, due to the fact she couldn't hold her bladder)

The next morning came and I was so afraid to get up, I was afraid I would get up and she would be dead. She wasn't dead, but she wasn't far from it. I went to let her outside to go potty and she stumbled down the stairs she could barely walk, and she couldn't even use the restroom when I got her out there.

I picked her up and brought her back inside and sat with her a bit. She looked so tired and so weak, and she just looked at me like "Can I go now?"

I sat her down and told her "You can go home now, don't worry about me I'll be okay"

I really feel like she was holding out on me. I then called my Dad and told him, I felt it was time, I felt she was asking permission to go.

My grandparents then came over to say goodbye to her. My sister was not home when this happened, I think she was at a friends (she was still in gradeschool at the time) and even though we called and told her that this was what was going to happen, she chose not to come home and say good-bye but to remember her as she was.

Then we took her to the vet, I was shaking the whole time. I kept telling her I loved her and it was okay. My Dad asked me if I wanted to leave and I said I can't just walk away from her now, she needs me. He didn't want to be in there but he stayed for me. It was really quick once they gave her the shot and it was like she just went to sleep. She actually looked very peaceful. We then wrapped her up took her home and buried her under the old Pine Tree.

It was determined that she was in the final stage of kidney failure so she didn't have much time left and was in a lot of pain.

It was absolutely the hardest day of my life. I was 19 years old and I was to graduate the next day. And I was barely a grown up and already had to make a very hard grown up decision.

Sorry I'm a little teary eyed right now. Its like everytime I think about it all those emotions come back to me. But I remember it all so clearly. I didn't think the pain would ever go away, but all wounds heal with time. But she is still with me and I think of her often.

Princess was a true guardian angel. She lived 2 lifetimes in one. She lived her life with her former owner until her owners death. And then she basically had to start all over again with me.

I still think she is looking out for me now. I think she had a paw in helping me find Zachary and Sasha both. And Sasha is so much like Princess. I named her Sasha Princess (in honor of Princess) and I think she is watching over Zachary as well, with all the problems he has had and all the obstacles he has overcome.


Anyways I just needed to share. Princess was on my mind today.

This is her:









Its been almost 5 years and I have had to move on. I have a wonderful life now and 2 wonderful dogs.....

But I still miss her and the pain of losing her is still very much their with me.

Sometimes I wonder if the wound of losing such a good friend ever fully heals.


Anyways thanks for listening.

Princess will be alive as long as I am alive, because her memory is very much alive with me.
 

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Discussion Starter #2
I've been carrying that around with me for a very long time. It actually feels good to finally talk about it. Maybe its what I needed to do to move on to this next phase of my life. I don't know.


Sometimes I wonder if putting her down was the right choice to make, did I do it for her or for me I think to myself. Even though I know i did it for her, the vet said she wouldn't have made it another 2 days.

But sometimes I still wonder.
 

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The bond we develop with our pets never quits growing. They love unconditional. They help us in so many ways and ask little in return.
Each relationship we establish with our pets are unique/different and cannot be duplicated or replaced. They are only here once and that love is never lost. Thanks so much for sharing your story, it brought back memories on mine that have gone on to rainbow bridge.:)
 

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Very touching, thanks for sharing it. I hope it helped you to write it out. I think most of us here have had to face that same situation at least once during our lives. It sounds like she was a very special little girl. :)
 
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