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I know that feeling exactly, PtP. In my working life I flew all over the world, drove from one end of the country to the other, ran courses and conferences, fixed computers and software and hotel bookings and missed flights almost without a thought - and this last week I found myself getting worried lest I fail to manage a click-and-collect grocery order "correctly"! I am actually planning trips just a little further than the village lest I forget how to drive - for a while the roads were blissfully empty but now the idiots are out, taking advantage of assumed emptiness to speed and overtake on blind bends. Keeping up defensive driving skills may be even more important for my long term survival than avoiding Covid-19.
 

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My boss contacted me to ask how I'd feel about working in the office again once we get the go ahead from the state. Honestly, I'm torn. I don't bounce back from illness the way I used to, and my husband is older than me. On the other hand, the younger people in the office mostly have little kids; their daycare situation has fallen apart. I'm better situated to start working on site than they are.

My employer has kept us all on at full pay and has arranged for various web training courses to ensure we had a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I am incredibly grateful for that. They have also been exceedingly careful with tracking anyone in the office, providing face masks, and that sort of thing.

I'll probably end up going in at least a couple of days a week. I can't hide at home for the next two years.
 

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cowpony that is a tough decision! BF went to work this week for the first time since mid March. He is a bicycle mechanic. What he did all week was to build bikes (10-15/day) to go up on the sales floor (where they flew out of the store). He was set up in the shop basement all by himself so distancing no problem.

For my campus we are remaining remote instruction mode through the summer and pending direction from Gov. Cuomo desicion will be made for the fall (hopefully sooner than later). The options seem to be go back on campus and hope for the best (sounds risky), do a mix of remote and f2f, think lectures off campus and labs on campus (not an idea that thrills me. If it isn't safe to go to campus for lecture why is it safe to go for lab where contact with students is closer than for lecture). Another possibility is to start on campus to orient students then move off campus (uh duh? sound useless). I think the best option actually is to spend the 2020-2021 academic year off campus to get an accumulated body of information on virus testing, antibody testing and study as to whether the antibody status confers sterilizing permanent immunity and to hopefully get a vaccine in place. We are talking about roughly 20000 people being involved (faculty, support staff and students).
 

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The logistics are so overwhelming. Wow.

And the thought of those crowded parks in Tennessee make my head pound...

I like rules that make sense to me, and social distancing rules make a lot of sense. So right now, hearing about all these rules-breakers, I feel like a pet border collie who anxiously wants to herd everything in sight. It's overwhelming at the moment, my desire for order.
 

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Friday (I think) there was one of the idiot assemblages of maskless, no distance types one town over from us near the Whole Foods I use. Protesters on Long Island call for reopening amid COVID-19 pandemic On the same day the county recorded just over 800 new confirmed cases, so it isn't like there is no risk around here. What will these people say when they get sick from lack of an abundance of common sense precaution taking?
 

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I have the same feelings, and I love how you put it PtP. Yes, the feeling of disorder is overwhelming. Since the pandemic began, I've felt like my life was taken apart like a jigsaw puzzle and all the pieces tossed in a box. I'm still looking for edge pieces and trying to make sense of everything. The rule-breakers, the protestors screaming, none of this is helping me feel better.
 

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My company is punting the decision whether to have people return to the office until May 31st. The way our building is laid out, we have 100+ people sharing what is essentially one room, as no cubicle walls extend to the ceiling, and sharing communal areas (kitchens, bathrooms, hallways) with other businesses as well. I don't see how we can safely work in that environment. I hope our COO does the right thing and allows us to continue to work from home.

And I think this article sums up how a lot of my older friends and relatives feel.
 

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My company is punting the decision whether to have people return to the office until May 31st. The way our building is laid out, we have 100+ people sharing what is essentially one room, as no cubicle walls extend to the ceiling, and sharing communal areas (kitchens, bathrooms, hallways) with other businesses as well. I don't see how we can safely work in that environment. I hope our COO does the right thing and allows us to continue to work from home.

And I think this article sums up how a lot of my older friends and relatives feel.
I turned 75 last week; yesterday my husband of 48 years turned 76.

I'll tell you what I tell myself - if I had a terrible inoperable cancer and the oncologist came to me and said - Diana, you're going to die an unpleasant death but there is a way out. All you have to do is self-isolate until we find a cure or a vaccine. I'd jump at that.

My daughter is an RN and we've talked this over. Neither of us thinks that my husband could survive COVID-19. He's far frailer than I am. So self-isolation may well be the last and biggest thing that I can ever do for him.

I've gotten through bad times before by living one day at a time. I can do this.

I'm still an optimist.
 

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If you want visions of déjà vu, look thru these articles about the Spanish Flu 1918. I've recently started looking at the history since it's the closest modern times experience to what is happening now. I'm still trying to find accounts of the eventual return to "normalcy", since, long term, these measures didn't have to be kept up.


There's plenty more to look thru.
 

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I'm hoping, with optimism rather than scientific evidence, that antibodies = resistance. (And that all the promised coronavirus antibody tests screen for the correct coronavirus. )

I've also got mixed feelings about how fast some of the vaccines are hitting clinical ttrial. Yes, we desperately need a vaccine, or at least some way besides random exposure to get the population immunized. On the other hand, there was a huge controversy in the Philippines over their dengue fever vaccination program. There were concerns that it actually increased the chances of people having an adverse reaction when their immune systems encountered the real disease. Dengue is totally different than covid-19, but it's still a cautionary tale. Anti-vaxers and conspiracy theorists will have a field day if we prematurely release a vaccine that doesn't work or that actually causes harm.
 

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Liz, I would really like to read your article, but apparently I would have to have a subscription to the Washington Post.
 

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Kontiki, I hope you can read it, the paywall is allegedly down, because that’s exactly how I’m feeling. DH and I are newly minted seniors and both doctors I’ve consulted via telemedicine have told me to stay home. And, HELLO, the reason my docs are remote is because they don’t even think it’s safe for themselves. I get irate at those selfish unmasked crowds. Not for myself, as long as DH stays healthy, I can avoid them. For their extended families and neighbors, and fellow idiots at the rallies. For being sf stupid.
 

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Thank you Click-N-Treat.
Oh my, that article is sad. I'm 73 and trying to stay more interested in things. I refuse to do facebook or other social media, and I only occasionally watch Fox news or listen to the president, just enough so I will understand what the 'covidiots' are talking about.
I do meet with a friend at least once a week, to take a walk with our dogs at least 6 feet apart, in an area that almost no one else ever walks. .The popular trails and walking areas have way too many people to be able to maintain the 6 foot distance, or not be walking into another persons left over breath.

Yes, other people are looking at the US with pity. I belong to an international forum and it is embarrassing to be a USian. They think the person who lives in the whitehouse is a joke, and a dangerous one.
 

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Watching the open the state rallies has been, well, a lot of things.

Illinois is mostly a rural, agrarian state with a gigantic urban area in the upper right corner. Roughly nine million people live in the Greater Chicago Megalopolis. And roughly three million people live everywhere else in Illinois. Stay at home orders for the Greater Chicago Megalopolis, made sense. We have a lot of illness and death all around us, and sheltering in place matters. A lot of us know someone who is sick, or know someone who has died. And there is great fear here. It feels like playing Russian roulette every time I go outside. My sister came over because she made me cookies. She delivered them on the porch while I stayed six feet away. I couldn't hug my sister. I just want to be able to hug my sister and not worry that I will kill her, or she will kill me. Is that too much to ask?

Meanwhile...

The same stay at home orders are in place for farmers in Henderson County. The Henderson County seat is Oquawka, Illinois, population, 1,371. There is one stoplight in the entire county. But, the governor shut all the schools, churches, businesses, etc.. This stay at home order must have felt like a huge slap in the face. There are, omg, five people who got sick in the entire county. What's the big deal? People get sick and die all the time. Let's get back to work already!

The great stressor in Illinois is between the needs of the rural areas and the needs of the Greater Chicago Megalopolis. Heck, Cairo, Illinois is closer to Birmingham, Alabama than it is to Chicago! A few years ago, my husband and I drove south along the Mississippi on the Great River Road to Cairo, Illinois. It gave us a new appreciation for just how diverse Illinois is. Up here if you buy Coke, the clerk says, "Do you want your pop in a bag?" Downstate, "Ya'll want your soda in a sack?" Breakfast up here, "Do you want toast or pancakes?" Downstate, "Ya'll want biscuits or grits?"

Setting laws that make perfect sense in the Greater Chicago Megalopolis, must feel like tyrannical overreach in one stoplight Henderson County. For example, everyone in Illinois is required to wear a face mask in public. Everyone, including Henderson County farmers. And people wonder why there are protests? I get why they are angry. Why should two farmers, who always have a beer at the local bar, drop everything because people in Chicago are sick? And did you hear, our favorite bar might close for good? Stupid government. And you can stick your face mask where the sun don't shine.

Meanwhile, in the Greater Chicago Megalopolis we're all screaming behind our masks, "MAKE IT STOP!!!!! MAKE THE DYING STOP!"

We're not experiencing the same pandemic. In the Greater Chicago Megalopolis this is a health emergency. In Henderson County, this is a financial emergency that appears to be caused by government overreach. But, we're isolated in our own bubbles, and struggle to feel one another's pain. Everyone is hurting. We're just not hurting over the same things.

Given what people in Henderson County Illinois are experiencing, perhaps protesting makes more sense than staying quiet. And given what people in the Greater Chicago Megalopolis are experiencing, we need a silent candlelight vigil, because we can't hold the hands of the dying, or even gather together to bury our dead.
 

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Click - You've highlighted a major issue for every state: the pandemic doesn't look the same in every jurisdiction. The economic vs health tradeoffs are best managed locally, except when you have local governments who refuse to act to protect the health of the citizens. Here's another article in the same series, from a coroner in a small town in GA. Being a small rural hideaway should have protected them, but it's also a close knit, church going, social community. The penultimate line is haunting and voices our fears about reopening:

The chamber of commerce has gone ahead and given me a tractor trailer with shelves to store extra bodies, which I might need depending on how reopening goes and how many more cases we get.
Kontiki - I'll PM you.
 
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