Well, I don't have a partner, but frankly if anyone tried to force me to keep my dogs outside against my better judgement, and without exceedingly good cause (a life threatening allergy, perhaps), it would be a case of they left or I did, depending on who owned the house! Some dogs do better outside than others, especially with canine company - to keep a poodle, with their strong affiliation with their human family outside alone and away from their people is simply not on. Is your partner jealous of the dog? It does not bode well for if you plan on having children together...

 

My husband was of the opinion that dogs lived mostly outside except in bad weather. When we were dating & I purchased my first house I adopted a black GSD as a companion to my terrier mix & as a deterrent to people with bad intent as the neighborhood I lived in was not the greatest. Imagine his shock that this 85# dog lived inside the house. Lol

We now have 2 GSDs & a spoo. All 3 are house dogs. Honestly if he told me it was the dogs living outside or him, he would have to go. That's my personal opinion & I know my husband wouldn't even suggest it.

 

I think you probably need to find the route cause of why he wants the dog to be outside and let him know if it isn't a legitimate reason and he cant say anything other than 'because i want him too or i dont want him in the house' then say you wont discuss it till he has a good reason to want him out.

If he does have a good reason it might be worth trying to work so you both get what you want so he is in some of the time an not others. if he gives you the its his way or the high way speech and wont even consider a compromise i would really think about if this is the way you want to continue to live.

 

Poodles do not do well in isolation and can suffer mental illness. On your description your partner is jealous of the relationship you have with the dog. It may well be that he sees this relationship as closer that the one he has with you. this may or may not be true. It is not too unusual for a partner to want to control their partner. In this case you. By readmitting the dog you have come out from under his control. He will not be happy about this. How he handles and reacts to this, depends on his emotional maturity and to some extent how you react to his need for control of you. He will want you entirely for himself and will not want to share you with the dog or anyone else. If he can become fond of the dog and see him as his friend as well as yours this may defuse. However if the reverse is true he will most likely slowly become worse until some perhaps violent event will end the scene. It is my opinion that he will require counseling but in my experience he will not seek it and will reject any suggestion of it. It is usually not until these situations come to a violent level that any good can be done. You might consider having the dog adopted so that you can then pursue your future with your partner. It is likely otherwise that you or he might be hurt in some way. Jealousy and the need for control are powerfull emotions that often end tragically. My heart and prayers are with you.
Eric.

 

Some dogs do just fine being outside dogs, I think its less common here in the UK though. All dogs are different but I don't imagine any poodle doing great as a purely outside dog.

I find it strange that he was fine with it then all of a sudden not. Maybe you could come to a compromise like, allowed inside but not in the bedrooms? Or outside/in a different room/crated when you eat if that's a problem? Really you need to know why he changed his mind and work on a solution from there.

 

My husband was raised by a mother that would never allow a dog inside, that was his opinion as well... But for me, if the dog isn't inside, I don't want to own it. Dogs are pack animals and it is just not right to force them to live outside alone. I won that battle, but if you can't , re-home your dog.

Personally, I would get rid of the partner and keep the dog. I am not trying to be funny, I would. I would not want to be with someone that tried to control what happens in my life. It is the only one you will ever have.

 

???????❓❓❓

Poodles are not cattle.


❗❗❗?

I'd say to such partner
----------
Dear **********

You're welcome to sleep outside,
if you're unhappy with my BABIES being at home with me. They are NOT cattle.

Or feel free to hit the road and don't come back.

Sincerely,

-Poodle mom.
------------------

My 2 are NEVER left outside unattended!

Just saying.

(Sorry you are going through this. It must be really hard. )

 

The issue here is not actually Ace--it is the relationship that has been created by both you and your partner. You own this situation as much as your partner does. I suspect you need an objective third party professional to help you figure this out. It is interesting that you came to Poodle Forum with this question as you had to have a good idea about how the answers would fall.
Your dog has been short changed for three years. You need to either be a loving and responsible pet owner or give Ace back to his breeder. Ace should not continue to suffer or be a pawn in a power struggle between you and your partner.
If you are ready to stand up for yourself you might be ready to also stand up for your dog. If you are not ready, please return Ace to his breeder who will find him a loving home where he can be safe and appreciated.

 

Very well said Gryphon. I agree 100%.

Ps. If the dog jumps around in circles maybe he needs more exercise.

My 2 get cardio exercise at least twice a day. And a daily nap in their crate (they love their crate and the nap) they act super calm and lazy all day after their nap

Playing fetch is a great way to get them exercise.

 

My husband comes from a culture where dogs are considered "unclean". He never had a dog as a pet growing up. They had guard dogs that lived outside. He's managed to come around completely that our dog, and every previous one is part of the family. In Houston summer temperatures often make it cruel and dangerous for a dog to be outside. It does sound as if your partner is jealous of the dog. Sad for you and your Poodle

 

My grandmother would gross out to touch a dog. She also believed dogs were to be outside, her whole life.

until I grew up got my 2 poodles and she came to visit (from abroad) and fell in love with my poodles. She is amazed at how smart and sweet they are. And she is really happy for me, she enjoys that my poodles make me so happy and she even smiles when they curl up and cuddle with me
and she even pets them!
(Occasionally ?)


I love my grandma soooooo much !!!
She totally changed. Regardless whether she likes dogs or not, she is happy for me. They bring me joy.

 

As someone who has had the same partner for 20 years (and still really really likes him! LOL! ), I'll start with the relationship portion of the program first... things like parenting philosophy, pet raising philosophy, morals, etc don't ever change and for me are non-negotiables. If my partner believed in spanking, and I did not, I would never have had children with him. It's a no go for me. Same with our thoughts on how to raise our poodle. We are aligned in all the areas that matter to us, and willing to negotiate on issues that aren't as core to our belief system.

Now for the poodle part - for us, part of the joy of owning a poodle is he is an integral part of our family. We don't leave family in the yard. Also, in the area of the country where I live, the climate can be harsh. Snow in the winter, high temperatures in the summer, thunderstorms... no pet should be left outside for long periods of time dealing with weather. Not to mention in my area there are bear, coyotes, hawks, deer, squirrels, skunk, possums... you get the idea.

I think it's time to have a serious chat about values and what/why this is so important to you. Getting situations like this worked out in a direct and mature manner will lead to many more successful negotiations throughout your relationship with your partner, and your pup. Good luck and best wishes for a happy resolution.

 

Well said, I'm with you about the basis of good parenting and dog ownership when two adults are involved. There has to be an alignment of core values from the beginning. Then it is easy to work through problems as they crop up. If you don't share those values then you will never find agreement. BF wasn't wild about the idea of chickens, but we do have shared values so we have worked things out around responsibilities and how to manage the dog/chicken situation without any arguments.

 

I personally think you are in a scary situation..........control and loss of control can lead to violence. I don't think this is a matter of indoor/outdoor dogs....... please rethink your relationship and if he is jealous of a dog I can't imagine you having kids with this man! (if you are of that age group) Get counseling and even if he won't, you need find guidance.
Now as far as ultimatums......if he gives you the "It's me or the Dog" take the dog and run....FAST!!! JMO!!!!

 

I agree- reading between the lines, there are much more worrisome issues here. Is this the life you want? I wish you well, sounds like you're in a tough spot.

 

when a young child accuses a parent of loving a sibling more, that's a phase kids go through. when an adult accuses a partner of loving a dog more, that's a serious problem. i would take the dog and leave. it seems clear that there's a collision course that's been set out and there's a strong possibility it's going to end in harm to either or both of two living creatures: you and the dog. if you decide to stay, please rehome ace. otherwise he is being set up to be seriously abused.

 

Oh my!!! This is a hot topic at my house!!!! DH raised with no animals in the house.. Myself had a zoo growing up.
Fast forward umpteen years... 3 yes, 3 dogs in the house.. DH of 20 plus years, on occasion has his nose out of joint about them but stay inside. He can stay outside if he feels that strongly. Remember that if you lock significant other and dog in trunk of car.... Who is happy to see you when you open it????

 

The thing is, why would someone who loves you put such conditions on your life? You have a life and he has a life...would you put your foot down in this way about something he loves? If so, why?? What if he loved soccer and you said, nope. I know you love it but now that you're with me, no. No soccer. Why would anyone do that???? If you love someone, you WANT them to do what makes them happy. You would probably buy him soccer balls and tickets to soccer matches, because what makes him happy, makes you happy. I too think it's not about the dog as much as it's a statement about how he sees your role in the relationship.

Having said that, there are dogs that do okay outside but not poodles. If you must have an outside dog, look for a more independent sort like a Karelian bear dog or a lab. Not a poodle.

 

Well Ace we all feel the same. Get rid of the dog or the partner. Personally, I'd keep the dog.
You have to see that the dog will suffer every time you "step out of line."

 

There have been some great replies...I forget who said it first but I too wonder why you put this question on the forum when I'm sure you could anticipate the answers? Most expressed in different words that they feel to leave a poodle outside is abusive...and with that the fear your partner is also mentally or even physically abusing you. You and your dog deserves an environment that is free to love and be love. Please consider the comments already expressed and be safe.

 

You agreed to keeping your Spoo outside for 3 years? You let your partner control you and your life that much? And now this? Seriously? Sorry dear, it would be bye bye to the partner. Either find a new partner, or better yet maybe none at all, or find a good, better home for your Spoo. Nope, no way, not at all, would that fly around here.

 

i noted that the op has not responded once since her initial post. so i looked at her profile. it says she has 6 dogs. in another thread posted by someone looking for an "outside" dog, she opined that she could not understand why anyone would get a dog to keep it outside. the skeptic in me is wondering what exactly is going on.

 

My time is limited hence why I haven't been back since my initial post. I wish some of you wouldn't jump to conclusions and assume that 'something' is going on. Now, I do have six dogs, one is a 13 yo Maltese, a 13 yo Chihuahua, a 3 yo Pomeranian, a 12 yo Maremma Sheepdog, 7 yo Australian Shepherd & Ace....the Standard Poodle. The Maltese, Chihuahua & the Pomeranian are indoor dogs. The Maremma is outdoors, she has a large yard to play in and an enclosure with a kennel & blankets and a companion dog....the Australian Shepherd. If she had her way she would opt to sleep under the weather no matter what but I prefer to keep her locked up out of the elements at night along with her beloved
Aussie Shepherd. They're not far from the house and I spend alot of time with them given I'm not working and am home most of the time. Ace did spend 3 yrs with the Maremma and the Aussie Shepherd but the last 4 or so mths he's been predominantly indoors and nothing will change.

 

Dogs are family. They belong inside. PERIOD.

It is not ok to leave kids outside... So why in the heck would it be ok to leave a dog outside?

People come and go...a dog's love and loyalty is forever.

Being owned by a dog is a privilege.... If you don't think so, then in my opinion, you don't deserve to have a dog in your life.

You have choices...your poor poodle does not!!! You are your poodle's voice. Don't be bullied into neglecting your dog.


I sure hope this post is just a bunch of BS!!!

 

Why on earth would this post be just a bunch of BS? Simmer down and stop being so paranoid. :amen:

Oh, although Ace was outdoors for 3 years, he was NOT neglected. I still managed to spend a great deal of time with him. He was still being groomed, bathed, well fed and all the care he deserves. I take offence that just because he was an outdoor dog, you would assume I neglected him.

 

I was thinking the same thing.

... Just another one of those...

Lame people trying to raise hell and get everyone worked up...

?

That's probably it

 

Is it something in the water that's making some of you ultra paranoid? Wow!

 

I know several people have questioned the validity of this post & the fact that the author hasn't spoken since the original post & that would be a big relief for me. As a former Violence Against Women worker I hope nothing has happened to stop the postings. A controlling partner certainly wouldn't like either the original post or most of our responses. However to Ace1 - the outside dog issue is only an example of the problems you have. Please prepare a safety plan for yourself if you should ever have to leave quickly - have a friend or family member with a rescue word or phrase should you need help, have a small bag packed and stored somewhere safe and keep some money somewhere where you can access it without leaving a trail and for sure take the spoo with you as the dog will become the focus of any anger. And I hope you know how to hide your internet history.

This may be totally out in left field but I've learned to listen to my instincts.

 

Among the saddest rescue stories I've ever seen was a German Shepherd that needed a new home because his mom was leaving an abusive relationship. She couldn't take him with her but she got him to a rescue and insisted that they make certain he was adopted out of state. She worried that if her significant other found the dog he would either kill him or torture him in order to get her to come out of hiding.

People that are cruel to animals scare me, and in my opinion leaving a former indoor dog outside 24-7 is cruel. Sometimes people we love have mental health issues that they aren't unwilling to address- and that can mean that it's not safe for you (or the dog) to stay in that situation. If that really is the kind of situation you are in, I hope both you and your poodle get the help you need soon.

 

I hope that this person is ok... I did look and see the last activity on the account was yesterday morning.

If you are reading this, please know that this forum has the most wonderful people you care about you and your dog. We are passionate about our fur babies and only want what is best for them... I hope that your situation improves. Coming from an abusive home as a kid, and following in those footsteps dating someone who was controlling and horrible, I can say break the cycle. Be on your own, it is scary! But you can do it! Best wishes and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!