Help! Puppy Separation Anxiety (I Think)

Dechi said:

I think you need to leave him cry, whimper, yell, yoddle, whatever it is.

You might have uintentionnally created this situation by giving him the attention he asks for when whining.

When i had Beckie (she’s a little like your dog, but she’s learned to settle in a crate), it took 3 weeks of whining in the crate at night before it stopped. She still will howl a bit when I leave, for a few minutes. And dig under the fence to try and come to me if I’m in the front... But she’s very manageable now.

Since he’s been doing that for a long time now (6-8 weeks I suppose) the habit is formed and it will take at least half that time to reverse it.

I would get help from a trainer, to boost your confidence and make sure you succeed. If not, then you’ll need to make sure he has peed/pooped and has no other need before putting him in a crate. Then don’t talk to him, don’t go to him. Only when he’s been quiet about 5 minutes, you can go. And don’t make a big fuss. Just open the crate and don’t look at him, don’t pet him, no high pictched sound. Be very casual, no emotions. No fuss when putting him in the crate either. Just close the door, no talking or petting once he is inside.

Good luck.

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fjm said:

I think that as he is so attached to you, and the crate is going to be an essential tool for you, I would try separating the being alone and the being crated, just at first. Leaving him to cry it out now he is used to getting your attention may give him an aversion to being crated, which would give you another problem to overcome. I would try teaching Wait and Settle. Wait means staying where he is while you take a step away, and then come back to calmly reward him for staying in place. Little by little build up to moving further away, and then being out of his sight for a split second. Once he really understands the game, build up to being out of sight for a minute or two, teaching him that it is safe to let you out of his sight because you always come back. Meanwhile also teach Settle - lie down calmly with a chew, or just resting. We all tend to reward our dogs for doing something - Sit, Down, etc - and forget to reward calmly snoozing! At first he will probably bounce up as you praise and reward him, but in time he will grasp the idea.

Crate Games (google them) will help to make his crate a good place to be. Combining the games - Wait in the crate, Settle in the crate - and building up the time you leave him should be easier on you both than trying to ignore his puppy howls for help.

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fjm said:

I mean practice Wait and Settle out of the crate, keeping the crate just for fun crate games for the time being. Ask him to sit, step back one step, then forward and treat. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Then two steps. Then three, four, five. When he is reliable, add the cue Wait! Build up to enough steps that you very, very briefly go out of sight behind the door. Slowly increase the time you are out of sight. Do the same with Settle - a comfy bed, a good chew, and teach him it is safe to let you out of his sight. Once he has really understood the ideas, ask him to Wait in the crate, door open, while you take one step backwards, and once more build up slowly. The aim is never to push him to the point where he gets anxious and cries - you don't want him to feel that the only way to get you back is to howl.

I would have some extra special chew toys - a Kong or another really safe one - that only come out for daytime settling in his crate. The crate needs to be a safe and happy place - food helps!

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Raindrops said:

I second the idea about kongs. They can be wonderful for dogs that are already anxious about the crate. I always put chew toys in the crate. A bored puppy is an unhappy puppy.

The ideas about separating the crate from being alone are very important. You need to work on them as separate issues. I would work on this both with a settling command as fjm mentioned, but also with regular confinement. Gate him in a small area with really nice play toys and chews and have him get used to being there while you are in the house but not visible. Never, ever give attention to him when he is whining. He needs to learn that whining gets him the opposite of what he wants. Telling him "it's okay" is not teaching him to settle. When puppies are young they have the ability to self soothe, and this lessens as they age. It is much easier to let a young puppy cry it out than it is an older dog. It is important to let the puppy calm himself, wait a bit, and then go in and let him see you for slight reassurance to affirm that everything is fine. Otherwise you are just reinforcing his anxiety. It might take some time to work through this because at his age he's probably built up some stamina.

I do not personally let a dog sleep in my room, as I believe it sets them up for separation anxiety.

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Raindrops said:

I would personally try waiting it out unless it sounds like he is physically harming himself. If that's the case you have a more serious problem. But simply whining and crying should extinguish eventually. But set him up for success. Make sure he is good and tired, and provide him with really nice chews or a kong. Of course this applies to simply being confined alone, not in the crate. You can simultaneously be working on crate games and teaching settle so that eventually you'll have him used to being alone, and used to settling, and used to the crate. Then you can put them all together safely. Don't forget that your attitude plays a huge role in how he views things. If you're thinking "poor sad puppy all alone" he will pick up on it. Make sure you are treating it like a nice fun time place where he gets to experience nice things. Experiment with chews that he really likes. Stuff like dehydrated tripe, bully sticks, yak cheese chews, etc. You should be able to find something he likes well enough to forget about you not being in eyesight.

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JoAsha3 said:

That sounds good. I just didn’t want to risk making him more fearful by letting him whine and cry for a while. I am wondering - I currently am sleeping in the same room with him.... Do you think that it is okay? I have a crate upstairs and a crate downstairs.. Both have separate beds and what I thought would work is that his upstairs crate will be only for sleeping (never during daytime) and his downstairs crate will only be for daytime. Do you think he will be able to learn the difference between them and that his daytime one he may be left alone?

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BabetteH said:

I would not let him cry. He cries because he's miserable. He's young and afraid. Yes, at some point he'll give up the crying because of pure exhaustion, but that's not what I want to do to my pup.
My puppy was like yours. Now he's 6 month old and can take it much better when he's alone. He keeps eating when I go out of sight or even when I leave the apartment. All without making him suffer for 30 minutes or an hour when he was a baby.

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Dechi said:

Yes, you got it right. It’s hard to do, but it pays off. Don’t let him pee 1 hour before bed, he needs to peed 1 minute before bed. Teach him a pee command. Keep saying it exactly when he does it, then praise (not in the middle of the night, cause no talking).



Maybe to reassure yourself, put down a camera in front of him and watch it the next day. As I said, most dogs will eventually accept it, even if they’re not crazy about it. Once they have learned that screaming gets them nowhere.



In the very rare event that he would hurt himself trying to get out (it would be very, very, very uncommon), then you would have to find another solution, as mentioned.



You could start during the day, where you can watch him, but he can’t see you. He needs to learn to relax and settle down even if he doesn’t see you. Maybe a kong with a little bit of frozen peanut butter in it to start ? Try to make him succeed. So if he’s been minding his own business and not whining for 5 minutes the first time, let him out and praise, without high pitch sound or exaggeration. Then slowly increase.

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