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My boyfriend and I broke up a while ago (we're totally fine with it) and I've moved into a new apartment with Misha. We used to live in a kind of cottage residence where we had our own small yard and didn't share walls with the landlord. But now I share walls with all my neighbors. The move to a new place seemed to trigger Misha's insecurities. He's always had a tendency for SA but it was fairly manageable. But the move coupled with covid (it was rare for both me and the boyfriend to be gone at the same time) has caused Misha to want to scream and howl when I leave. I've been working with him on this a lot lately and I thought it might be good to talk about some of my methods in case others are experiencing similar issues.
Firstly, I try to always leave Misha in his pen when I leave. His pen is where he's used to settling down and he is accustomed to confinement in it. Leaving him out of the pen seemed to cause him more distress.
Second, I started leaving him alone in the middle of the day when I figured the neighbors would be least bothered by the whining. I would wait just outside the door until he was quiet and then I would come in and praise him. Doing this a few times would result in him not crying when I left for short periods of time like to take out the trash. But I still was having major issues when I would leave for longer trips like to go to the grocery store. Sometimes I would get back and he would be wailing.
So I've been working on a new approach and I'm seeing greater success with it. His pen is in a location where he cannot see the door. So he assumes I've left whenever he hears the door open and close. So I've started going through the "leaving routine" but not actually leaving. I jingle the keys, put on my sandals, open and close the door, lock it, and then just quietly sit down. At first he would start wailing before long. But at the first sign of more than a whimper, I would reveal myself and correct him and ask him to settle. Then I would repeat the procedure. If he could remain quiet for a little while, I would reveal myself and treat and praise him. First 30 seconds, then 60 seconds. Now we've moved on to longer periods of time like 5 minutes, and I'm no longer rewarding him if he is making even a small whimper. He needs to be quiet and settled.
I am hoping this technique will work by making him unsure if I've ever actually left, and therefore eliminating his anxiety about being alone.
I know verbal correction for whining is not generally recommended, but for him it seems to really work. The whining itself seems to be self reinforcing for him and creates a positive feedback loop. If I can cut it off immediately, it interrupts the behavior pattern. And so far he doesn't seem to feel that my correction is a reward.
We will see...
Firstly, I try to always leave Misha in his pen when I leave. His pen is where he's used to settling down and he is accustomed to confinement in it. Leaving him out of the pen seemed to cause him more distress.
Second, I started leaving him alone in the middle of the day when I figured the neighbors would be least bothered by the whining. I would wait just outside the door until he was quiet and then I would come in and praise him. Doing this a few times would result in him not crying when I left for short periods of time like to take out the trash. But I still was having major issues when I would leave for longer trips like to go to the grocery store. Sometimes I would get back and he would be wailing.
So I've been working on a new approach and I'm seeing greater success with it. His pen is in a location where he cannot see the door. So he assumes I've left whenever he hears the door open and close. So I've started going through the "leaving routine" but not actually leaving. I jingle the keys, put on my sandals, open and close the door, lock it, and then just quietly sit down. At first he would start wailing before long. But at the first sign of more than a whimper, I would reveal myself and correct him and ask him to settle. Then I would repeat the procedure. If he could remain quiet for a little while, I would reveal myself and treat and praise him. First 30 seconds, then 60 seconds. Now we've moved on to longer periods of time like 5 minutes, and I'm no longer rewarding him if he is making even a small whimper. He needs to be quiet and settled.
I am hoping this technique will work by making him unsure if I've ever actually left, and therefore eliminating his anxiety about being alone.
I know verbal correction for whining is not generally recommended, but for him it seems to really work. The whining itself seems to be self reinforcing for him and creates a positive feedback loop. If I can cut it off immediately, it interrupts the behavior pattern. And so far he doesn't seem to feel that my correction is a reward.
We will see...