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3,152 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Here's a quick burst of humor I copied and pasted from Quora.
Btw, don't do this.

I gave my mini dog a mini chocolate cake for her birthday and now she’s twitching on the floor, what do I do?

For the people getting mad at me about giving chocolate to his dog… please look at the question and the answer. I do not own a dog. I was responding and have deleted those comments aimed at me.

Also, whether or not this person asking this question is for real or a troll, is now pretty much besides the point. All these views, upvotes and shares are a testament to that. For this, I thank you all.

Ok. For the dumbass.

Have you considered calling a vet? Taking your dog to a vet? No? You bloody well should.

There's something about chocolate we love, and dogs can die from.

Is your dog still alive now?

You are an idiot. Seriously.

Let me try and paint a picture you understand.

Your aunt who has a peanut allergy comes to visit. You in your wisdom, knowing full well she's allergic to peanuts are serving peanut soup.

She keels over. Who/what would be the best equipped to handle this situation?

A: The toaster

B: Jake, your five year old cousin

C: The massage therapist

D: The doctor at the Emergency department

(Spoiler: it's D. If you chose A you need to get your head checked.)

Now, your dog has ingested theobromine which your dog's body can't metabolize fast enough.

I hope you learned not to give your dog chocolate cake for her birthday.

Also, I hope you will reconsider having a dog is a good thing for you.

I originally wrote something else but that was quite nasty.

Edit: as people were asking how theobromine poisoning works, I'll add it here.

White chocolate: 200 ounces per pound of body weight. It takes 250 pounds of white chocolate to cause signs of poisoning in a 20-pound dog, 125 pounds for a 10-pound dog.
Milk chocolate: 1 ounce per pound of body weight. Approximately one pound of milk chocolate is poisonous to a 20-pound dog; one-half pound for a 10-pound dog. The average chocolate bar contains 2 to 3 ounces of milk chocolate. It would take 2-3 candy bars to poison a 10 pound dog. Semi-sweet chocolate has a similar toxic level.
Sweet cocoa: 0.3 ounces per pound of body weight. One-third of a pound of sweet cocoa is toxic to a 20-pound dog; 1/6 pound for a 10-pound dog.
Baking chocolate: 0.1 ounce per pound body weight. Two one-ounce squares of bakers' chocolate is toxic to a 20-pound dog; one ounce for a 10-pound dog.

“Fun” fact: a human needs to ingest 22lbs of chocolate for it to be fatal.

That's about 14 Dairy Milk bars.

They don't sell those here so I'm good ;)

Don't give your bird a smartie. One is enough to kill your bird
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