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Dilemma

18K views 80 replies 30 participants last post by  Sutton Bend  
#1 ·
I need some advice and you guys are good at it so thought I'd seek your opinions :)

I'm considering getting another puppy. Not right now, but preferably in early December so I'll have a month off school to dedicate to housetraining. And hopefully the wounds from Charlie won't hurt as badly by then. But if I decide to go with another poodle I need to start searching now bc I am researching EVERYTHING this time around.

I have some reservations about this. First is after the heartbreaking experience with Charlie, I don't know if I can handle another toy poodle. And after reading so much about puppy mills I kind of want to adopt, but I know the chances of me finding a toy poodle at a shelter are rather slim. But that brings me back to my first problem bc I don't know if I'm equipped to handle a toy poodle.

I know I want a small puppy, as tiny as I can find, and I want to have it from early on. I don't want to adopt a 5 month old puppy, I know that's selfish of me but I want to be part of his/her ENTIRE life. I know I would love it the same and so on, but I don't know..it's just what I want. And size is important to me. It's kind of hard to tell what kind of size or pet you're going to get when you're adopting and the puppy is different breeds.

When I bought Charlie I knew absolutely nothing about toy poodles. Or dogs in general. I researched after the fact and learned a very painful lesson along the way. While I KNOW I did everything I could to save Charlie and she did not die from hypoglycemia as much as those bastards keep blaming me for that..it has kind of traumatized me. I feel like a failure and I do know I didn't kill Charlie and it wasn't my fault that she wouldn't eat and I had to force feed her...I'm scared that I could get a toy poodle and it would run too much or not eat enough and get hypoglycemia. I think it's something that I would constantly agonize over and be super paranoid about so I don't know if I should get a toy poodle..but the hypoglycemia factor goes for any small dog and that's what I want. I've been spending a bit of time with my friends dogs and while the big dogs are great, I know I want something small that I can carry around. Which by the way my best friend got charms for both of her dogs collars - it's a pink heart that says "In Memory of Charlie" ugh it broke my heart, but thought it was so cute and thoughtful of her.

What first appealed to me about poodles is that toy poodles are tiny - that's the only reason I got Charlie. Now I know that they're super smart and don't shed and I want a dog that has those qualities as well. I know I will never be able to replace Charlie and it's not what I'm trying to do, I just think I am capable of giving an animal a very loving home and I so badly want to experience the joys of having a pet as all I got with Charlie was heartbreak. Don't get me wrong, I loved her with my whole heart - but it has really messed me up. I still randomly burst into tears over it. I know I couldn't get one that's the same color as Charlie bc it would hurt too much. I kind of want a red one, but I've read they're hard to find. I want a red one to name Lucy (after Lucille Ball) and I'm just so in love with the idea of being able to say "Lucy, I'm home!" ha silly I know, but I'm weird like that. So if anyone knows of anyone that breeds red toy poodles in AZ please let me know as I'm making decisions about this.

I guess my question is getting a puppy from a breeder vs. adopting and whether I should even try getting another toy poodle. For those of you with toy poodles, is hypoglycemia something that they experience a lot? Charlie was sent sick, I know this, but I can't help but feel like I failed her and I can't go through that kind of heartbreak again. I really don't know what to do.
 
#2 ·
Maybe you can go miniature... not too big, not too small? They are 10 to 15 inches...and maybe like 25 lbs? Not sure if the weight part is right...the mini owners can chime in.

You'll be a great doggy mom and it is a great idea to wait until you have a month off.

Check out too, Pinky, ARIZONA POODLE RESCUE. They have all their dogs listed on petfinder. AND they are being fostered, so their fosters can answer any questions you have about a particular dog you are interested in.
 
#4 ·
When I first started looking into adopting I went on that site and it doesn't work for me! It says it doesn't know my location and I've entered my zip, just city, state - nothing works. It's so annoying! I don't know why it's not recognizing it.

25 pounds is too big for me. I don't want anything over 10 pounds.
 
#9 ·
Pinky, I have to be perfectly honest and you might not want to hear this, but based on your postings on this board, I don't think you should get a dog just yet. BTW.... this has nothing to do with Charlie. If you had come to the board before she was purchased, I would have told you the same thing.

You are young and in school. Your life at this point is fairly transient. You live in an apartment where there is an additional fee for a dog (you have indicated that you might not be able to afford this fee). Finances are generally tight, as they are for any young person, and you may not be able to afford grooming and health care costs for a dog. You have also indicated that some aspects of dog ownership are difficult for you to handle (e.g. diarrhea, vomit etc).

I would wait. Get through school. Figure out what you are going to do and where you are going to live. Settle down a bit more. Then, get a dog. :)
 
#10 ·
Pinky, I think you will make an excellent mum for a puppy. I have two toy dogs - Sophy is around 8 pounds, Poppy around 9 pounds. I have had both since they were pups, and neither has ever shown any signs of hypoglycaemia, nor did their breeders include it in the (long) list of things to think about and watch out for. I think if you avoid very tiny toys (anyone claiming to breed "teacup" would be a red flag for me), and minimise the stress of shipping, it is unlikely to be a problem, but US breeders will be able to advise you. I would also be looking for a reasonably local breeder if possible, and certainly one who is willing to give advice on the phone/email day or night for the first week or two. It can be very reassuring to have someone to talk to (get a good vet lined up, too, for the same reason).

A rescue is a lovely idea - but if you want a very young puppy I fear that you are unlikely to find a healthy, problem free one in rescue. I quite understand that you would prefer a baby (I feel much the same way), but the right older pup or young adult could be a very good choice (perhaps, dare I say it, even a rescue poodle mix!). Would the California rescues be possible for you - they seem to have more dogs needing homes.
 
#11 ·
I was thinking about getting a "teacup" but I've read contradicting things about this. I read that they're kind of like having a puppy with a handicap bc they're much more prone to hypoglycemia and then I've read that teacups don't even exist and it's just a designer name given to unusually small toys. While the thought of a 2 pound puppy is adorable to me I'm concerned about hypoglycemia and just that I could easily hurt it with it being THAT small. I think I'll stick with a toy. California is too far of a drive for me as I don't want to put those miles in my car.

cbrand, I've considered those things too. I'm not going to be rich anytime soon ha so if I wait to have enough money I'll never have a dog. But I do plan on getting pet insurance, have found a groomer suggested by a friend that is very reasonably priced and I've narrowed down my vet choices to two vets - one suggested by someone on here and another is a vet that my friend takes her poodle to. I will be working by the time I get my puppy so I'll be able to afford the pet fee for my apartment, but I am concerned about the apartment factor since I won't have a yard or anything for the puppy to use but I plan on taking it to my friends houses for that. My main concern is time. Someone posted the other day about not having enough time for a dog so she was going to wait a few years to get one, and this is something I've considered as well. Another reason I want it now is bc I think while I am busy with school and just life in general, I think the older I get I will only get busier and this is a good time to be able to devote myself to a puppy rather than when I'm older and have more responsibilities. I am still considering not getting one after all bc of this, I'm just exploring my options right now. But trust me I am considering all of the things that I did not even think of before impulsively buying Charlie. I need to make sure to find the right puppy and that I am able to provide for it. If it doesn't work out then it doesn't, but I do have a strong desire to get one.
 
#12 ·
I think a toy - or even a small mini - would be perfect. Poppy is top end of UK toy size, which would probably make her a slightly oversized toy in US terms. She is small enough to pick up easily (I wouldn't want to carry her around all day, but then no dog appreciates that anyway!). At the same time she is strong and athletic enough to run and play safely with other dogs, and to enjoy agility. I have seen some nice tiny toys, but when breeders start concentrating on getting the smallest pups possible, health and soundness can suffer.
 
#13 ·
I've been spending a bit of time with my friends dogs and while the big dogs are great, I know I want something small that I can carry around.
Even if I had a 2 pound dog I wouldn't carry it around - this can lead to so many other issues, including behavioral! A 2 pound (or 10 pound) dog should be treated the same as a 45 pound dog, not as a human baby. I've seen some really nasty toy dogs whose owners spoiled them so much they were incorrigible and no one liked them except for the owner - I'm sure you don't want that for your new dog!! So - no matter what... no matter what size your dog is... resist the urge to carry it around!! Train your dog to be an amazing companion with all of his/her 4 paws on the ground!! :)


I kind of want a red one, but I've read they're hard to find. I want a red one to name Lucy (after Lucille Ball) and I'm just so in love with the idea of being able to say "Lucy, I'm home!" ha silly I know, but I'm weird like that.
Our red standard poodle is named after Lucille Ball too. We were in California when Ms. Ball passed away and it was a huge deal at the time!! My husband likes to tell our Lucy that she's "got some 'splaining to do!!" :lol: The holistic vet that we met earlier this month kept calling Lucy, "Babalu" Now I've been calling her that too from time to time!

Good luck with whatever you decide, Pinky - having a living, breathing soul dependent upon you for everything is a huge responsibility and it's a responsibility that should be for the lifetime of the dog. Unfortunately there are many people who realize too late that it's too much for them and then the dogs end up in rescue - once again looking for a truly forever home... so I wouldn't discount adoption if you can find what you are looking for there.
 
#14 ·
Hey Pinky,

If I were you I would not get a puppy while in college. Though I am a bit older than you are and done with school, I myself just decided to wait another year or two because I want to enjoy being able to go out, date, ect. I was very tempted to get one in college but in retrospect am SO happy I did not. It is can be very hard to find a dog friendly rental during/after college, and again with student loans finances are very tight. You only get to enjoy college once, and I am glad I was able to do things like study abroad because I did not have responsibilities at home to take care of. I am sure you will make a wonderful dog owner some day but I hope you take a moment and think about whether you really want to have to come home every 4-6 hours to take care of a dog right now.
 
#15 ·
Pinky,

I think you will be a great poodle Mom. There is still a lot to learn, especially with a puppy. I am encouraged to see you so willing to ask questions and seek the advice of others.

You need to get a toy. A mini, at this point, would be too big for what you want. I would stay away from any "breeder" advertising teacups. It's a sales gimmick, and the super small ones are not breed to the breed standard meaning that they tend to be unhealthy for life.

The only risk for hypoglycemia is while they are very young pups. They need to be on a very consistent diet given at regular intervals during the day. Their growing bodies mature quickly, so it's super important for the little ones to be consistent. If you do your research to pick the right breeder, you can greatly reduce the risk of health problems.

One of the biggest issues with the toys is seizures, so I highly recommend going with a breeder who knows the history of the dogs they breed. This isn't something you can get from a shelter dog or other rescue. I also think it would be good for you to have a breeder you call when you have questions.

Only you can truly determine if this is the right time. I do not have a crystal ball to tell me how wealthy I will be for the next 16 years. I do know that I will do anything in my power to provide my pup the best environment. Being older and having an established lifestyle certainly helps.
 
#16 ·
I think its another perception thing... I'm a college student but I take perfectly good care of Elphie, it just takes time to rearrange everything for it to work

I take fewer classes because I want to spend time with her, I take fewer hours at work because I want to spend time with her, when I go out with friends we go walking at our local park most of the time and or something that I can take Elphie with me...now don't get me wrong going out once a week isn't that big of a deal but unless you want to get plastered you don't need to be going out everynight anyways JMO

EVERYTHING is manageable, if you want a dog you just have to make sure you can make it work!

So maybe its difficult at first but I've made it work and I'm sure anyone could do the same with minimal "sacrifices" I sacrifice nothing I desperately need and I sacrifice nothing that Elphie desperately needs

Just make sure the person you buy from does ALL the genetic testing needed of the toys!
 
#17 ·
Pinky,
I do hope you will find a toy poodle. Both of mine are toys. They are the smallest dogs I have ever owned. When my three year old mini died of an auto-immune disease, I knew that eventually I would get another poodle. My research led me to a great breeder of toys, and I decided a large toy would be okay. Beau is about 12 inches at the shoulder and 9 pounds. He is a super dog--a real sweet boy. When I decided to get a second poodle, I went back to the same breeder who had a 4 month old girl. Belle is 6 pounds and just under 10 inches at the shoulder. Stay away from the super small ones; they are not likely to be the healthiest. Also, dogs are happiest running around on their own four paws. While they love cuddling and sitting on your lap, don't plan on carrying them around all the time. I think you can make this work, if you want to.
 
#18 ·
I'll be honest, getting a dog in college isn't easy. I adopted Dixie as a Junior and I can't imagine how I would have kept my sanity if I would have adopted/purchased a young puppy. She was 6 or 7 months old, already house trained, done with shots and already spayed.
I always had to think about Dixie before I thought about myself. My fun money came only after I had budgeted for her needs and put money in savings just in case. I got up early to take her for runs around the lake (she was a high energy dog), I cam home at lunch if possible, I always came home after work to let her out, play with her, feed her, etc. I only went out one night a week and even then I rarely stayed out later than midnight. I never stayed at someone else's house so I could make sure Dixie wasn't in her crate for too long.
I don't know that a young puppy would be the best option for you. Puppies can usually only hold it for the number of months old they are (so an 8 week old puppy can old it for 2 hours at most). That means finding ways to come home between classes and work that often, waking up at night, etc. I would recommend you look at getting an older puppy or young adult.
Remember too that most dogs in rescues and shelters aren't broken or sick. There are tons of pure bred puppies who are left because their families moved, had a baby, didn't want a dog, etc. Also, many rescues will set up transports to get the dog to their family, so look beyond your area.
If you go through a breeder avoid anyone who uses the word teacup. This is a great link to explain why: The sad truth about "teacup dogs"
Also, please don't carry a dog everywhere. No matter the size of the dog, they should walk unless it is unsafe (which, for a pet dog, is fairly rare). I also want to point out that while those dog carriers that look like purses are cute, they shouldn't be used to sneak the dog in any place where dogs aren't allowed.
 
#19 ·
Pinky, you are so much more educated now. Only you know what you can handle, and when the time is right. I am waiting on getting a mini myself. I want one SOOOO BAD! But, I know the time is not right yet. I will know when it is the right time, and I am convinced the right poodle for me will "show up" when I am ready. Of course, the timing will be met with lots of research and preparation!

I also have gone back and forth between rescue, and getting one from a reputable breeder. In your case, I would definitely go with the reputable breeder/health tested pup. The money you spent on Charlie would have bought you a well bred pup.

Take your time. Everyone here would love to see you get a healthy pup. I'm sure you will get leads on breeders in your area.

Best of luck to you, and please keep us posted. We want to be here to celebrate with you when the time comes!
 
#20 ·
May I ask why you want a dog, and what it is that you are looking for in a dog?

In all honesty, and I'm going to sound harsh and blunt, but it sounds like you just want something small and cute that you can tote around. While YOU may enjoy it, that is NO life for a dog, even the tiniest ones. As plumcrazy stated, you will create a lot of problems in your dog by treating it like a stuffed toy, and no one benefits from it.
 
#21 ·
There's no such thing as a 'Teacup' size for ANY dog, anyone advertising their dogs as this size you should always avoid. Poodles only come in four sizes: toy, mini, klein, and standard, in that order smallest to largest. Dogs are dogs, they're not toys, they're not babies, and they shouldn't ever be treated as such. As a groomer, I hate grooming these dogs that are babied, they're terrified of grooming and just want to jump into my arms and be held.. and I can't cut hair like that.

Getting an undersized dog is walking right back into health problems. Get a toy poodle that's breed standard.
 
#22 ·
Pinky, please, please read the link that KarmaCat gave. Story after story of people who went through much the same thing you did with Charlie because of buying a "teacup" dog. Teacup dogs are NOT healthy specimens and you will be setting yourself up for heartbreak once again.

You were fortunate to finally get your money back after all the pain of dealing with Charlie and her short life and high vet bills. You might not be as lucky, if you can even call it that, a second time around.

I know you have this yearning to own a dog, and you are making efforts to educate yourself. Please keep on with your reading and researching. From what I have seen of you, I am sure you are sincere in your love for dogs. But is this really the right time for any dog, much less a puppy with its demands for potty outings every 2 hours, several small meals a day, plus puppy training? Plus possible vet visits for vaccinations if it hasn't had the full course yet? A puppy should not be crated for more than 4 hours maximum during the day - can you arrange your schedule or pay for a dog-walker to come walk her and play with her to socialize her often enough, so she doesn't spend hour after hour lonely and bored in a crate?

How well a puppy is socialized during the crucial first six months of life will affect that dog's life forever after. Is this a time in your life when you have that kind of time to give?

Not to mention the fun-fest that is teething, when your puppy will be chewing everything and anything. My adorable puppy chewed up two pairs of prescription glasses - that's better than $500 worth of damage right there. Messed so badly on two bathroom rugs that I had to throw them out rather than bother trying to clean them.

We had stains on the carpet and had to rent a carpet steamer to clean the whole house to get the stains out. And this was a puppy who was house-trained pretty quickly - it's just that the few mistakes he did make were doozies! A bit of puppy indigestion and you've got fluids coming from both ends - 'nuff said!

If you've been reading here in all the threads, no doubt you've seen several of us talk about the issues we've had with dogs who were under-socialized. A puppy is under-socialized when it does not have consistent, loving, friendly interactions with many different people and different dogs, and introduction to new textures and experiences. If you are working and going to school, will you have time to provide all that socialization for your dog?

Can you set aside, consistently, about $100 - $150 a month for the care, feeding, training and grooming of your dog? You might not spend that much each and every month, but on average, that's what my dogs cost me.

Finally, I know you said you wanted to have a dog for "its whole life," but may I encourage you to consider a dog from a foster or shelter situation, if you decide to go ahead with it. A poodle rescue group might be a good resource. A young adult dog who has been house-broken, socialized, and has passed the teething stage is much less demanding than a small puppy, and has the advantage that you can see what you getting - you know the size, you can evaluate the temperament, it's more of a known quantity situation. That might be a lot easier to work into your living situation.

Do keep reading, learning all you can about caring for a dog in general and poodles specifically, and evaluate seriously how your living and financial situation will affect any dog. I know that when the time is right, you will be a great poodle owner.
 
#23 ·
I agree that you really need to search your soul about why you think you need a dog in your life right now. Be brutally honest with yourself. And remember this decision isn't about you, it is about the life of the dog you acquire who has no say in what happens. That is what concerns me, YOU want..., and then give a laundry list of criteria for the dog, seemingly describing an accessory. This is exactly the same as deciding whether you want to have a child right now. And as to devoting the time now not later, have you considered the lifespan of a small/toy dog, like a child you are talking about the next 18 years. Is it really wise to have a child right now? We all have things we want, it doesn't mean we can have them, or that now is the right time to have them. As to a rescue, I doubt any reputable rescue would adopt to you right now. And a reputable breeder may also not be willing to entrust one of their dogs to you at this stage of your life. Sometimes the best things are worth waiting for.
 
#24 ·
I read the teacup link..so sad. I already wasn't going to go with that just bc I don't need a puppy that's likely to get sick, but that's so wrong. I don't know what's wrong with people!

I want a small puppy bc they're cute and yes I want to dress her up and carry her around, but I'm not saying I'm never going to put her down or carry her around at all times. I would likely get sick of that as would the puppy. But I do want a puppy that I can pick up and take somewhere with me if I so choose and I can't do that with a bigger dog nor do I have the space or longing for a big dog. I guess what I'm mostly looking for is companionship and having something to care for. I want to come home to a puppy and have a buddy for the next 15 plus years. I also think it will help me heal from Charlie. I won't be able to come home every 2 hours - but really who can? - but I think while I'm still living with my mom it would be a better time for a puppy bc then I will have extra hands to help care for my puppy. I plan on hopefully moving out by the end of next year and at that point I will be on my own so I want to have a puppy while I have other people at home. School wise I only have class 2 days a week so that's not too bad RIGHT NOW, but after this semester the next two years are going to be a bit crazy with clinicals on top of my classes. But at that point my puppy won't be a puppy anymore. But I have no way of foreseeing how much time I'll be able to spend at home. I've thought about vacations and things that would result in my temporary absence but I know my mom or a friend could take care of the pup. However, I do spontaneously spend the night at friends houses..rather frequently, actually. This is something I'd be willing to sacrifice to have a puppy, though. I feel like if I don't get one now..or rather soon...I will have to wait years bc I don't want a puppy while I'm going through clinicals. On the plus side if I wait until after graduation then I'll have a "real" job that pays well and I will probably be more stable. But I want one now :( I'm trying really hard not to be impulsive bc that just gets me in trouble and Charlie taught me that I really need to stop with my impulse shopping, but maybe I'm overthinking it? I was against getting an adult dog, but perhaps I should adopt a senior dog as they're typically overlooked just to give it a good home and then once I'm done with school I can get a puppy? But with a senior dog it would likely have health problems and inevitably die on me and while I know it will be different than losing Charlie, it's still a loss. I really, really, really want one and I don't want to wait, but maybe I should. I just see myself having more responsibilities as I get older and I think that will make me less capable of being a good owner. Blah a crystal ball would surely be super right about now.
 
#27 ·
But I do want a puppy that I can pick up and take somewhere with me if I so choose and I can't do that with a bigger dog.

I'm not sure what you mean by this. Big dogs can go everywhere little dogs can, and little dogs can go everywhere big dogs can.
Are you talking about taking her illegally into stores and things in a purse?
 
#25 ·
Something keeps pulling me to this dog:

Adoptable Maltese: Thumper: Petfinder

He's cute. And I want a girl, but I don't know, I guess I feel bad for him. He's fairly small but he's missing a tooth. It says he can still eat, but does anyone have any experience with this? I know of a dog that has teeth problems so she rarely eats and is way underweight bc of it..it's heartbreaking. He's in Tucson so I'd have to drive down there, but that's not too bad of a drive. Poor dude needs a home and I love his name.
 
#26 ·
Pinkie, I think before you fall in love you need to contact the rescues in your area and see if they will consider you as a suitable home. Many in the UK have very stiff conditions, including access to a fenced yard, someone at home most of the day, etc, etc. Then individual dogs have special needs. A good shelter will try to match you with the dog that is right for you, and that you are right for. I really don't think I would be looking at a senior in your situation - there may be special needs that are difficult for you to meet (some have continence issues, some have issues around new situations, many have health problems). A well socialised older puppy or young adult would be perfect - don't get too hung up on the baby thing. It only lasts a few weeks, and while young pups are cute they are also destructive, messy and very, very hard work! Not the ideal thing for rented accommodation. A slightly older dog, from a known background, in desperate need of a kind and loving home would still need all your love and care. There are places other than Rescue to look - breeders sometimes have older puppies they have decided not to keep, or show/breeding dogs that are being retired.

If your mother and brother are willing to help, then that may make a big difference - and certainly means they need to be involved in the decision. Remember that this will be your dog, though - if they want to go out, or go away, you will be the one to stay at home. I would also check out good local daycare and kennels, ready for any emergency, and make sure you have budgetted for them.

In the end, only you can say whether this is the right time or not. You could try a dry run - something like Flour Babies, perhaps. Work out a puppy schedule (no cheating!) and see how it feels to stick to it for a couple of weeks. Then remember that this dog will be with you for many years to come. That means finding pet friendly accommodation for you both every time you move, not travelling for work or working long hours unless suitable arrangements are made, no impromptu outings with friends, dropping boyfriends who do not get on with your dog, ensuring your dog is well-socialised with babies and small children for when you want to start a family, etc, etc - you may decide all these things are manageable and doable, or you may decide to wait. Either way, I hope you find the perfect pup at the perfect moment for you both.

Finally - this may sound daft, but have you considered a kitten? Or even better, two kittens? While I was working I had cats in situations where I simply could not have managed a dog. They have all been loving, cuddly, great fun and very good company. They are also (usually) litter trained by 6 weeks, and - provided your appartment is big enough - will adapt to an indoors only life. And yes - I introduced a tiny puppy to my adult cats without any problem.