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I am happy and sad about this. Happy that he has been convicted and sentenced for his criminal conduct. Sad that it took forever for women to finally be heard about behavior that has resulted in him being identified as a sexually violent predator. It is also sad that all throughout his vastly successful public life and as a cultural icon and role model this violent behavior was repeated over and over. The messages are so jumbled up: me too, men of power, power to women, how do we expect men to behave, how should women respond...
 

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I was in the ladies room in Philadelphia and randomly looked up. To my surprise, I saw a sign in black bold lettering, far above the stall:”Lock him up! Lock him up! Lock him up!” So many “he’s” to chose from these days. Cosby ruined so many women’s lives and justice took far too long.
 

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Yeah lock him up could be about a lot of men...


Other sorrowful aspects of this and similar situations these days is that it is just so hard to get men to understand why women don't go public so easily or in proximity to the events and that they often still are not believed when they do.



Many years ago I had a student show up about an hour before an 8:30 AM class (glad I was an early bird back then). We exchanged greetings and I asked her what was up and she burst into tears and told me she had been raped by a date the previous weekend. She felt scared and ashamed, didn't think she could tell her parents, hadn't told her friends but felt she could tell me. We talked for a while just about feelings and then I was able to offer her some suggestions for support services on campus that she could access for free. She was a different person for the remainder of the semester: sad, unfocused, having a hard time finishing work and so forth. I also once had a student tell me that she was an incest survivor (along with her sister, both abused by their father). Their own mother didn't believe them! This was especially hard for me since one of my college roommates also was a victim of her father's incest. Her mother and brother (also a friend) were in denial about it. The mom refused to divorce the monster of a father/husband since they were catholic. When he took her off to back roads to molest her in the back of the car he would finish by walking her into the woods and pretending to leave by walking out of sight. He would go back and get her and tell her on the way back to the car that he was sure she understood what would happen to her if she ever said anything to anyone.
 

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He's a MAJOR disappointment every time is see his mole-ridden smirky face on tv. I don't even believe he's that blind. For my generation, Cosby and his tv show was something special - a black family showing what a middle class family could be, led by a decent man with an education.

That b*$+ard abused his influence and made a mockery of a dream and became an embarrassment of my race b/c he was a media-designated reflection of all we could be. I hate him so much. He was a role model in that show, so he didn't just rape those women, he raped all African Americans of their dignity.

You should've seen the look on the face of kid at my school when the accusations first started flying and things were looking really grim. He asked what I thought, and looked so crushed when I told him it looked like it was true. That boy had tears in his eyes. I felt so sad.

But with that, a silver lining: The Me Too movement. Girls and women used to be sooo embarrassed and feared being blamed if they were fondled or raped. Many still are but not as much, especially in the workplace. And abusive men have been falling like dominoes.

On the other hand, it bothers me that not every accusation is true; I've personally known and seen some opportunistic women who are just as shady as their male counterparts, usually looking for free money or revenge for nothing related to impropriety.

It's a mess.

And don't get me started with the latest Supreme Court nominee... How will that look if he gets a pass and now having two SCOTUS with a history of accusations? Our nation is a hot mess from top down and the bottom up.

I read a book in college called The Longest War. Might as well be The Endless War... Right now I'm wondering if young peopel will get to the point where they will only feel safe if they sign an agreement to have intimate relations before doing so, and boy would that kill romance. Or maybe not. It's a new world.
 

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I don't believe the sentence is long enough for the damage he has done, however I realize that he wasn't tried and convicted for all the pain he has inflicted - just for the one woman who's case was allowed to go forward.

It's also sad that there are many powerful men like him who are walking free - and even worse is they don't understand the problem and continue to be part of the problem.
 

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We’ve read excerpts of his writing in one of my classes back in college on brown vs board of education. I was surprised to see his harsh viewpoint on African American communities and advocate for hash criminal justice system. Cosby had always been an outspoken conservative who lack compassion for the less fortunate. I’m not surprised that he turned up exactly where I’d imagined.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
 

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I think that false accusations are far, far fewer than real ones. And if there is one courageous victim, you can bet that there were a dozen others who remain silent to avoid death threats, doxing, and PTSD to recount what happened. I am encouraged that powerful men, like Cosby and so many others have had meaningful consequences to their actions. I have subzero tolerance for sexual harassment, sexual abuse, rape, blame the victim. Whether you are Bill Cosby, the Catholic Church, Fox News, Brett Kavanaugh, Harvey Weinstein, Charlie Rose or a predatory creep of any political persuasion.

I always think of a New Yorker cartoon, of two little boys, one saying something like “My youthful proclivities eliminate me from considering elective office.”
 

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I have always considered myself as well as most women in my extended family to stand for women rights but not to use them as "woman" rights but as human rights, if that makes any sense at all. People male female whatever need to stand up when something awful happens to them. In the past few years a family member remarried, after about two wonderful years things went bad. She found out her girls were being molested. They stood up . It took several months for them to stand up as they really didn't understand what was really happening. They went to their biological dad told him and their step dad was immediately arrested and removed from the house. At first their mom was in denial as she didn't see it. But they stood which is the important thing, spoke out didn't wait for years to go by. They understood what was wrong and that what was happening was not right. They were being groomed...Good news it didn't take 30 years and "HE" is now in jail for the next 40. I am proud that my family has raised strong woman who take care of their business.
 

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Discussion Starter #10 (Edited)
Vita your perspective is so important. Thank you for the depth and breadth of your feeling and experience. BF and I have a very close friend who is an African American attorney (retired from DOJ) and my best friend in college was an Afro Caribbean as was my first department chair for many years. While non-Afro/non-Latino/non-Asian... people can certainly not be racists, I think real understanding comes from having really meaningful relationships with people who are different (non-white) and knowing their lived experiences in depth as best as is possible. I can only barely understand how greatly disappointing and ire inducing the lie of who Bill Cosby was publicly vs. privately is to you.



Mfmst I agree that I think false accusations while not unheard of are far rarer than real accusations. Look at Dr. Ford's situation. Her life will never be the same, why make a false accusation, knowing the consequences in terms of public shaming and such? The same applies to any woman who makes a public scenario of what was a horrible private experience.


Mufar the girls in your family who stood up against their step father are courageous young women. I hope that strength carries them forward in life without lasting trauma.
 
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