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I've never slept well in my life. Not even as a kid. My brain was always awake, always trying to figure out solutions to life the universe and everything. It's not worrying, because I'm not really a worrier. It's mental whirring that just won't allow me to go into shut down mode. My brain is like the spinning beachball on a Mac. Processing, processing. If this sounds familiar, I have found an audiobook that puts me to sleep in 20 minutes or less. It's called, "This Audiobook Will Send You To Sleep." By Dr. Hardwick and Professor K. McCoy.

It is designed to be the most boring book ever written, on the most boring subject matter imaginable. It's read by a man who has a monotone voice. He reads chapters like, Brownian Motion in Dust Particles, A Catalog of Adverse Weather Conditions Encountered In Wuthering Heights, The Political Crisis in Belgium 2007 to 2011.

None of this is interesting. It is not supposed to be interesting. I have no idea if this book is supposed to be a joke. What I do know is, lying in bed and listening to this man drone on and on about set theory, or the history of the Lithuanian Monarchy, is so incredibly boring that I fall asleep in 20 minutes or less. The only section that kept me awake was Count The Sheep. That's because I was giggling. 24.... sheep. 25... sheep. He got up to 101 sheep and I think the reader fell asleep.

If you toss and turn and your brain won't shut off, try this book. It really does send me to sleep. Set the sleep timer on my phone and.. A History of Early Carpet Manufacture in the United States Of America. Blah, blah, blah blah, zzzzzz.
 

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The ironic thing is that if I’m interested in something, I fall asleep. If I’m not, I stay awake. However, I’m a lifetime insomniac as well. I’d be willing to give it a try. Dickens’s “Bleak House” is extremely boring, if you’re looking for fiction.
 

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I listen to podcasts to fall asleep. I used to have quite bad insomnia but it hasn’t bothered me for a few years now. My favourite is My Dad Wrote A Porno, which is an incredibly funny show I’ve listened to lots of times, but somehow it works for me. Set the timer for 30 mins and I’m good to go.
 

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My best girlfriend swears by BBC radio announcers. She says that no matter what they're saying, it sounds soothing :)

(I don't know which iteration of BBC radio announcers)

I must look for that book, Click. Not for insomnia, but for curiosity lol.
 

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As a fellow insomniac and an absolute audible bookaholic. I understand what you are going through. With me being a compulsive multi tasker, I find that doing my needle work while listening to a good book to be very relaxing. I also listen to audio books while doing housework, on the commute to work, gardening, hiking, or just because I love a good story and no longer have time in my life to actually read.

Anyhow....

I'd like to suggest the series of books where Roland got his name and my favorite of the hundreds of audio books I have listen to, Stephan King's The Dark Tower. It is a 7 book series written over 20 years. It starts with a short book, The Gunslinger, where we meet Roland, a knight errent, last of his line, hunting the man in black. From there it goes on to The Drawing of the Three, The Waist (yes it is spelled waist) lands, Wizards and Glass, Wolves of the Calla, Song of Suzanne, and finally, The Dark Tower.

The thing that makes it so fascinating is how he works characters of his other books and even real life events in his own life, into the story line and it all works and makes sense. You don't have to have actually read any of his other books to keep up with the story, but listening to the story makes you want to listen to his other books just so you know more about the characters. It's how I became such a big Stephan King reader, lol. You just got to remember that from the first to the last in the series, he wrote a lot of other books, so that's how the other characters got worked into the story.

Of course, if you're not into the sci/fi, horror genre, you can't go wrong with the classics, Gone with the Wind, To kill a Mockingbird for example. And I love Dan Brown, The Davinci Code being my favorite. I also enjoyed Diana Gabadon's Outlander series. I will say I am very disappointed in the whole Game of Thrones series. The books are great, I love them, but because the HBO series strayed so far from the actual story and George RR Martin is spending too much time on the tv series and sci/fi conventions, the last of the books isn't even in sight although he at least has a name for the final book. I don't even know if he even knows where to go with it.

Oops, guess you can't get me going on my books, I'll never shut up, I am just so addicted to them, lol.
 

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Haha, I listened to the sample and found it fascinating and wanted to listen to more - I'm such a nerd I enjoy learning about weird and obscure information. The announcer sounds similar to announcers on documentaries from WW2 that DH loves to watch.

I don't have a problem falling asleep - so maybe that's why this book doesn't work on me?
 
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Oh, I love audiobooks. I have the entire Wheel of Time series all 14 books, lots of fantasy and science fiction, and literature, and history, and... and... But, I stay awake listening to books because they are interesting. I needed the exact opposite to fall asleep to, and this audiobook works.
 
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