Chagall's mom

About two weeks ago we got mail intended for someone else in town so I stopped by their place to deliver it. A woman, probably in her late 60's, answered the door and when she saw Chagall in the car invited us both in. To make a long story short, this sweet woman told me she suffers from severe agoraphobia, about which I know zilch, and simply does not leave her house. She has two married children who live an hour or so away and they deliver her groceries weekly, and take in her mail (we get rural delivery and she doesn't even go to the end of her lane to her mailbox).

Anyway, she fell in love with Chagall, and he with her. She simply did not want us to leave! She asked me to please, please stop by again, which I have twice, to bring her something I'd baked. She had her daughter get dog treats for her so she could have them there for Chagall when we visit! You just can't imagine what a sweet lady she is.

Last night out of the blue I got a call from a woman who turns out to be her daughter. She said her mother had "the best three days of her life in 10 years" when I visited with Chagall and that she just HAS to get her mother a poodle. She asked for the name of Chagall's breeder, which I was happy to give her. I know the breeder can make her own decision about where to place her puppies, but I was wondering how a pooch might fair living entirely indoors? I also gave her daughter the name of the mobile vet who makes house calls. I can't believe this lovely, widowed lady has lived all alone just a mile and a half from me all these years! I wish I could help her somehow.

apriljean80

How lonely she must be! I don't know about how a dog would do entirely inside(potty training may present a problem, unless she trained him to use piddle pads or a litter box and was ok with that) but I think it was sweet of you and Chagall to stop and visit. Perhaps that could be a weekly thing? It sounds as if your visits previously have made a huge impact already.

ArreauStandardPoodle

Well, the dog won't live entirely indoors, the owner will. She can hire a dog walker or send it to a Doggy daycare who does pick ups. I do know a lot about agoraphobia, having suffered from it for fourteen years. It is a terror of crowds. Agoraphobia literally translates to fear of the market place. Most agoraphobics have some degree of claustrophobia as well. There are a lot more women with this condition than you'd ever imagine. It seems to have a hormonal trigger, so you will find most agoraphobic women are menopausal or peri-menopausal. I know that bringing Quincy into our family has been extremely therapeutic. It has forced me to face some of my fears because of my desire to have him shown. I think a dog would be incredible for her, and may help her take little baby steps in recovery. And there is no reason a dog living with her cannot thrive. There are mobile vets and pet services, and I have found businesses to be extraordinarily kind and accommodating if the situation is explained to them. Please keep us posted. This could be a life changing event in this poor soul's lfe.

__________________

Chagall's mom

I absolutely will continue to visit this lovely woman with Chagall, you can count on that! I can't imagine what life is like for her in the winter. We live in the country and it can be pretty isolating if you're not mobile. I too was thinking she could paper train/litter box train a pup. Also, Chagall and I belong to a dog hiking club and I was thinking some of the more local members might want to visit this sweet woman too, and our dogs could help socialize any pup she might get.

I am so torn about whether I'm intruding on her? I have her daughter's phone number now and want to arrange to meet her sometime when she's at her mom's. Maybe we can talk outside and I can find out from her what she thinks best. I can't tell you how this woman's situation pulls on my heartstrings! I know there's an elder care hotline in the county and thought about calling them. My dh said to wait until I get to meet her daughter and we get some kind of feel for one another. He's right, I have the urge to rush in but need to resist it.

ArreauStandardPoodle

Did this lady seem comfortable and at ease with you in her home? A lot of agoraphobics are perfectly fine with things happening within their safe haven. I can have quite a few guests in my home before I begin to feel anxious. Won't be hosting a big party anytime soon, but family dinners or ten or twelve guests is just fine. She would likely love to have visitors to help her fill up her lonely days.

__________________

Chagall's mom

Cherie, i think you just might be a miracle worker here!! I had no idea about all this, but you gave me such wonderful insight! I am sorry for your own struggle but you sharing what you have may just have changed the world for this woman! I didn't even think of doggy day care with a mobile pick up service! And since you as a breeder see this as a workable arrangement I am so encouraged!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!! The woman told me she had a small mixed breed dog when her children were young, and she's a natural with Chagall. You know, I had hopes of someday doing some sort of pet therapy with Chagall, maybe this is it in away! Thank you sooooooooo much! My husband said to said thank you for him too, because I'm driving him nuts obsessing about this woman's situation. This was spectacularly kind of you!!

apriljean80

Chagall's Mom, you are a kindhearted soul. I love your idea's of having your club help! I think if the woman was uncomfortable with you visiting her you would have already heard or been able to tell from either the woman or her daughter. Sounds to me like you have already blessed her life!

Chagall's mom

You know, she was the most welcoming person imaginable! I had just shown up on her doorstep with a handful of her mail, there was obviously a credit card bill in it and I didn't want to leave it hanging around in her mailbox (some people around here have had their identities stolen that way!). She opened her door to me without hesitation, though she quickly looked past me when she head Chagall "chirping" from the car (he hates being left out!). She immediately said, "You must come in! Go get your dog and bring her [she didn't yet know Chagall was a "he" 'cuz he's so purty!]." I literally have a hard time getting out of her house when I've visited. She does a lot of embroderie and likes showing me the napkins and tablecloths and pillow cases she's done; they was so much of it I could be there looking at it still. It's very helpful that you told me groups of people may be overwhelming, I will take this slowly going forward. I am such an extrovert I need to be sensitized and mindful of the fact others are not!! Again, a million thanks!

ArreauStandardPoodle

Absolutely my pleasure! I wish nobody had to go through this. It is horrible and changes your life entirely. But if my experience with this awful phobia can help someone else, there is some good in it. If I can help you in any way make this woman's life a little more pleasant, or you need more insight into the condition itself, feel free to pm me. I would not hesitate to sell a pup to an agoraphobic, as long as there were plans in place for grooming, vet care, walks, etc. so do not think finding her a puppy from another breeder will be a problem. I would think Chagall's therapy work has now begun! Everything happens for a reason, and you getting her mail was no accident!

__________________

Chagall's mom

Trust me, she's doing me the bigger favor; anyone who welcomes Chagall into their home and appreciates my baking MAKES MY DAY!! Believe me, I am a very average baker with a limited repertorie; after six visits she'll have had a sampling of all I can make!! But seriously, this is such a nice woman, her company is what's truly special. And I'm retired now so I have some open time and welcome sharing it!