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Old 03-16-2017, 04:46 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Jose` is gone from me

It was inevitable. It always is. And no matter how many times we go through this grief, you'd think we'd get better at it. I was planning to be so brave but before I left, I took all three dogs into the laundry room where I sat on the floor and told the poodles Jose` would not be coming back. I was holding Jose` on my lap because otherwise he'd keep pacing around as he was doing the last several days intensely. I sobbed and the poodles looked at me like...what's wrong? I dried my tears, put Jose` in the crate that was already in the car and off we went.

I was strong in the car. And we went into the vet's and there was a woman about my age or so with a cute little wire haired terrier mix that was 8 weeks old...just adorable. I had left Jose` in the car while I let them know I was here...he gets a little stressed in the vet's. When the woman learned what I was about to be losing, she handed me her puppy and said, "Here, you need her." She was incredibly sympathetic and nice. We talked and she told me about how she acquired her puppy. Then it was time to go into the room with the vet who brought me a box of Kleenex and a nice, soft blanket for Jose`. A drug to make him very sleepy and finally, really out of it was nice to calm him and to gradually transition me I think. I held him close and stroked his head and told him how he was going to be in a better way soon. I sobbed and I'm sobbing now. And then the final injection and his final sleep.

He is free now of all that stumbling, uncoordination he was having, the confusion, the walking into things, the far away look and that constant pacing. He does not have to struggle anymore with trying to drink and eat when it wasn't working quite right. It had to be some kind of cancer and it may have lymphatic and/or brain cancer of some sort.

But all in all, he was a healthy dog all this time. And such a wonderful temperament. He was my constant, dear friend all these years and I will truly miss him. He was such a loyal fella, always waiting for me by the door or on the landing. He didn't have any actual separation anxiety though. He just loved it when I came home. I'll miss his funny little howl. He would howl sometimes in a very high pitch. His little mouth would form the letter, O. lol And he'd put his head back and howl the longest howl.

He was a super duper retriever...better than my lab any day. He was smart as they come. He learned new things very fast, including potty training. He was one of my best and fastest to catch onto that. He was just a real pleasure all these years. When we'd walk down to the little store 1/2 mile from me in Idaho, people going in and out of the store would say, "Where did you get him? I want one just like that." Haha. He was a byb dog and one of a kind. I never believed he was 100% Chihuahua, although I paid for a Chihuahua and have the registration papers to "prove" it. haha.

Anyhow, the time goes by so fast and they grow old way too soon. I hope you all have a wonderful, long lasting, fulfilling relationship with your dogs. Cherish every day because as you know, it goes by all too fast. And then the miserable day comes when we have to say "good-bye."


I've posted these pictures several times before. But they are what I have of my sweet Jose`.

When I first brought him home to Idaho. I think this was the first day.



With dear old Bonnie Lab. Everyone loved Jose`...dogs, people. He was always such a sweet natured, tender little fella.



Even as a puppy, he was always inquisitive, smart, playful, but calm.



It's hard to see him there with Bonnie, the Lab, Chulita Chihuahua and Lyric, the Dobe. But they were all friends and we had such great places to hike and play in Idaho. This was at the lake near my house.



This is one of my favorite pictures. His coat is so shiny and his eyes are full of life.


Taking a break on the golf course on the way back from a hike. Bonnie is the old gal in this picture.



Bonnie and Jose`on a little trail around the lake that goes along side some cabins.



In a forested part of my property in Idaho. They were such good little hikers, those Chihuahuas. (anyone who says you can't hike with tiny dogs is very much mistaken. lol. These guys could go for a very long way and loved it all)



Best friends in the world, these two Chi's...such lovely little dogs they were.



Always wanting to get in the act...what a heap of dogs and my son too. lol. His dog, our foster Beagle, chulita is somewhere around there and Jose` wondering where he can fit.



He has been with me for 15 years! That's a long time. Dogs came and went but he kept on truckin'. He always got along so well with everyone. Here, with the most recent family members, the poodles. As puppies, they were, of course, somewhat annoying to the older dogs. But as they simmered down, and everyone got into the groove, they all became very close "brothers."



May 2015



Having fun with his brothers in the field here behind my house



Quite recent...Matisse all snuggled up close.



This is not that long ago, after a bath, all silly and wanting to play with Maurice, who looks a little bit like, "whoa."

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Old 03-16-2017, 04:47 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Little Jose`...one more photo.

Just this last winter. He seemed quite all right then...still lovin' his walks. Usually separate walks but sometimes together with the poodle bros.

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"If you love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen." -- Samuel Adams 1776
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Old 03-16-2017, 05:07 PM   #3 (permalink)
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You were both lucky to have shared a wonderful 15 years with him. (((HUGS)))
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Old 03-16-2017, 05:09 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Such beautiful memories of this very loved, very special dog. That sweet face, that beautiful color like a grulla horse, that sweet and loving personality. We love you, Jose.
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Old 03-16-2017, 05:10 PM   #5 (permalink)
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There are no words, except, I'm so sorry.
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Old 03-16-2017, 05:10 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Aw he was so lucky to have you as his owner.What a happy life he had with you. Thinking of you!
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Old 03-16-2017, 05:12 PM   #7 (permalink)
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It is very hard but wonderfully generous to them to know when we need to let them go. I am sorry for your loss.
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Old 03-16-2017, 05:30 PM   #8 (permalink)
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It was incredible how fast he declined. I just can't get over it. About a week ago my daughter came to visit and he was restless, but nothing like the way he became. Within a week's time he went from wanting to go out very often, getting a drink very often, getting up and down from the couch often to...this intense and incessent wandering, stumbling, staggering a little but still able to take a walk, getting himself into corners and under chairs and things. I wanted to make sure he had one last little walk just in case he enjoyed it. I really couldn't be sure. His mind was so gone I think. But the sun was out and it was warm against his body as we went across to the sunny side of the street. He seemed to walk a little better where he had open space. But his muscles were very atrophied and his legs were getting weaker. A couple weeks ago compared to just now was a huge change. So it was definitely his time.

Skylar, I was incredibly lucky to have this one of a kind, darling little dog.

Yes Zooey'smom...lots of good memories. That's what keeps us afloat, isn't it.

Lily...thank you. It's not generous really. It is just necessary. I would have taken him in yesterday but the vet said, give it another day to make sure and he didn't think he was in any pain or distress. But who knows? He sure was out of it cognitively...though he still knew to go to the door (or the wall next to the door) to be let outside to pee.

When we get puppies it always seems so neat...we have loads of time left with these little dumplings. But golly gee...it seems like I just got these poodlens and they're already nearly 4 years old!!! I can't believe it. So, yeah...cherish these phenomenal little dumpling gifts while we can...right?

Thank you so much.
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"If you love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen." -- Samuel Adams 1776
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Old 03-16-2017, 05:35 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Thank you for sharing your memories and pictures of Jose. He looks like a lovely fellow. My heart aches for you as I know how terribly difficult this was for you to do. He is at peace now.

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Old 03-16-2017, 06:06 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Oh I loved all the photos of Jose and the others, what a great life this special little soul had. Your description of his howl when you came home was so touching and brought tears to my eyes, my dear Gracie use to do that. These days will be hard ones for you, take care of yourself and lean on us. Hugs PBG
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