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dogs and family/friends

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#1 · (Edited)
The holidays have passed and we had a LOT of people here on and off. The kids all came (nice), the brothers and sisters, Aunts/Uncles, nieces, etcetera. The dogs did great with all the hubbub, but it left me wondering if I am a little too dog oriented.

-Someone yelled at one of my dogs to shut up when they barked at the door for a doorbell. I got mad at the person (I want the dogs to bark at the door bell). My dogs are well trained. I tell them 'quiet' and they are quiet. I showed the person that and they acted surprised that the dogs would listen to me.

-One friend/acquaintance of a daughter started teasing my Jazz, batting his rear end/shaking his head and trying to rile him up. It frightened Jazz and the guy called him a woosy dog when Jazz ran to hide from the guy (mind you, Jazz is 7 months old) and started chasing Jazz for fun to frighten him. I told my daughter that guy wasn't welcome here anymore (good thing it was a so-so friend and not a boyfriend ;)).

-My neice started pulling Bonnie's hair and I gently showed her how to pet nicely because her mom and dad thought nothing of an 18 month old pulling her tail (they thought it was cute). I tried to tell them Bonnie was a good dog and would not bite my niece, but another dog might.

-For dinner with 15 people I put them in their crates even though they are well behaved because someone else thought the dogs should not be 'around the dinner table'. They thought it was unsanitary or something.

-THEN- gasp- Bonnie jumped on the footstool where she likes to lie and someone called them spoiled and how come they were allowed on the furniture.

-I pick up the poop every day, but alas, someone stepped in an errant pile in the backyard and got ticked. How could I stand dog poop in the yard, they asked.

-Someone clearly thought Bonnie's holiday toenails were crazy. :)

Okay, so it wasn't all bad. Many people loved the dogs, but I wonder- is it only me that treats my dogs the way I do? Am I nuts or something? Yah, I know three dogs is a lot of dogs, but I like my dogs. I look forward to lying on the couch surrounded by my dogs watching TV. I don't mind them lying quietly around the dinner table (they do not beg).

I suppose the people on this group are fond of their dogs or they wouldn't be on this group. I'm not kookoo- really I am not. :angel2: It seems to me that if people want to come to my house (and they are welcome) that they have to understand this is a DOG house. My house is clean. My dogs are clean. What's the deal? I like dogs, sometimes more than people...
 
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#2 ·
I'm with you! If you want to come to my house, be advised it also belongs to my dogs. If you don't like them, don't come here. I surely won't be offended. I now have a poodle (yay no shedding) but my other two babies are chihuahuas and they shed like little buffalos. I vacuum twice a week. They are allowed on the furniture. If you don't like hair on your clothes, don't sit down!
 
#3 ·
I am with you OW! As far as I am concerned, the dogs live here too and should be treated with respect by all. I don't think you are kookoo or that you overstepped any boundaries. If someone can't deal with the amount of dogs I have, well, they are welcome to stop coming over. I do my best to make sure my dogs behave, and the ones that don't stay crated or otherwise confined when company is over. My dogs are always clean, as is their bedding, crates, and yard. They do bark at company for a moment yes. As soon as they figure out who it is and that I'm ok with that person being there they stop.

And as far as I'm concerned, nobody yells at my dog but me if I so choose. And what is it with visiting kids harassing the dogs?! My own siblings know good and well to ask before petting them, especially the littler ones, and they know to play/pet gently. Almost every other kid that comes over ends up frightening, bullying, or otherwise annoying at least one of my dogs! Dusty actually nipped the neighbor kid she teased him so much. (He accidentally go outside unsupervised when she was over....tell ya what though, she stayed away from him after that!) Trev has been screamed at and then cornered by a kid that came over...He only growled a little though. All have been grabbed at, pulled on, and stepped on. I do my best to keep the dogs out of the way and put them up, but sometimes life happens. When you live with 11 other people, not everything is in your control. :-/ Others end up letting the dogs out, or taking visitors to see them. I just don't understand what is so hard about teaching a child how to be polite to a dog! It isn't hard really.
 
#6 ·
I don't think you're too dog oriented.

The only hard time with Gryphon from anyone that I got was my dad who doesn't particularly like parenting my step brother (he remarried and now has a six year old son who is absolutely NOT dog safe and can be very violent/cruel around animals). Gryphon is afraid of children, but he did really well and would eventually let my brother pet him, however he would not listen to me and kept insisting on trying to hug him/pick him up etc, and my dad thought that Gryphon would learn best by allowing Jacob to "tame" him.

My dad thought it was stupid when I told him that all he was doing was reinforcing my dogs fear of children, and affirming that they were not safe.

My step-moms mother was there, too, and she was being an ass hat when it came to my terrier-getting him super worked up and then petting him while he was being nuts as she informed me dogs were just supposed to be that way.

I kept it together, it's just one day, and they did for the most part like my dogs. We will recover, haha.
 
#8 ·
No you are not kookoo!!!! Having a similar experience at my house a few years ago with DH family !!! It became clear that majority of "them" are just not dog/animal people. So they do not visit often ( there are other reasons such as geography we live in Ct and they live in the south) and if they do the dog comes first no matter what. The same with traveling to visit them... No dog no visit. An unspoken rule but it works for me. Besides my dogs have always been better company and don't complain about the things that most family who are visiting do. So our holidays are very quiet and that is a very large blessing


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#9 ·
I had a ton of people over Christmas Eve.... I know a bunch of you don't like Caeser Milan but I use his "no talk, no touch, no eye contact" rule with guests.... I started it Bc Lola was a piddler but realized its a lot less stressful on the dogs if a bunch strangers aren't messing with them (besides the fact that then ppl can't be messing with their top knots lol) and it was almost as if the dogs naturally adopted the same rule for themselves Bc they both ended up sprawled out on my bed away from the company. There were small children and a few idiots in my house :-/ and I felt better that the pups were chillaxing on my bed :) .... btw... My bedroom door was wide open so they were choosing to be there.

And had I seen a child or adult teasing one of them I would def have stepped in and stopped that.... ESP a puppy or a nervous dog... I have 7 and 10 year old children and they are EXTREMELY respectful with our two spoos (or else).... and their friends too! Neighborhood kids walk into my house looking up at the ceiling (no eye contact lol) We have them all trained... They know not to mess with the poodles or their koo koo mother ;-)

As far as poop in the yard...well .....I have two 40-50lb dogs... They don't poop in the house... That's pretty much fair warning to watch where u step in the yard ?


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#40 · (Edited by Moderator)
I had a ton of people over Christmas Eve.... I know a bunch of you don't like Caeser Milan but I use his "no talk, no touch, no eye contact" rule with guests.... I started it Bc Lola was a piddler but realized its a lot less stressful on the dogs if a bunch strangers aren't messing with them (besides the fact that then ppl can't be messing with their top knots lol) and it was almost as if the dogs naturally adopted the same rule for themselves Bc they both ended up sprawled out on my bed away from the company. There were small children and a few idiots in my house :-/ and I felt better that the pups were chillaxing on my bed :) .... btw... My bedroom door was wide open so they were choosing to be there.

And had I seen a child or adult teasing one of them I would def have stepped in and stopped that.... ESP a puppy or a nervous dog... I have 7 and 10 year old children and they are EXTREMELY respectful with our two spoos (or else).... and their friends too! Neighborhood kids walk into my house looking up at the ceiling (no eye contact lol) We have them all trained... They know not to mess with the poodles or their koo koo mother ;-)

As far as poop in the yard...well .....I have two 40-50lb dogs... They don't poop in the house... That's pretty much fair warning to watch where u step in the yard ��

We use the no talk, no touch, no eye-contact rule too because of our terrier. Any form of attention towards him is positive, and he can really get over-worked quickly when new people come in. After 15 minutes people can interact with the dogs just fine, but I need calm greetings. We don't have a 'piddler' but I think it's just really frustrating to be a guest in a home where dogs are going nuts and climbing all over people so I like my home to be free of that behavior. Gryphon is really well behaved regardless of what people do, but the terrier really needs that 15 minutes to realize he's not getting anything from anyone until he is calm. If someone talks to him before then, he just starts going crazy.
 
#10 ·
Oh boy....NOBODY yells at my dog. That is reserved for me and hubby.. IF need be.

It depends who comes over to visit. If its normal people Dex is allowed out to greet like normal. How else when he learn to behave around normal people? By normal I mean dog people, of coarse. :) Now if my brother in law and his wife are here I tread carefully and may keep Dex in my bedroom. They just dont like dogs and they seldom come over so...

I have another brother in law that lives next door. I never realized he doesnt have any use for dogs. But he loves Dex. He has said to members of his and hubbys family " I dont care for dogs but for some reason I really like that dog" He is bewildered as to why but Ill take it! Some day I will tell him "its because its a poodle. They are special"
 
#11 ·
Oh Outwest, what a terrible experience. It sounds like your family are the ones that need the "training."

I feel incredibly fortunate. My cousin who I had not seen in a few years wanted to stay at my house over the holidays along with her pregnant daughter, daughter's husband and young son. I wrote back that they would be welcome provided that they agree to abide by house rules: (1) no factory farmed meat allowed in the house and (2) be nice to the dogs. They agreed and we had a great time. All 4 of them were very comfortable with my dogs, even though they have no dogs of their own. Mom and Dad taught their son about "gentle touch" and he was great with the dogs. "Bob" and "Cammie" were added to his rapidly expanding vocabulary and he was running around accurately calling them by name. The dogs were on the furniture, and the little boy was on the dog bed. Everyone was happy. Here are a few dog-centric photos from the their visit.
 

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#12 ·
We had a slew of company for Hanukkah, people coming and going for days. Chagall was included in everything, which is SOP around here. One of our guests, who was up visiting from Florida with his eight year old twin sons, had to make a drug store run to get a short refill on his HBP Rx. He and his sons asked if they could take Chagall along for the ride.:car2:

I honestly had a brief debate with myself about whether to let him go!:thinking: I tried to negotiate having one son stay here with us, just be sure Chagall wouldn't be "dog napped" and taken back to Florida.:D

I had to show them how to seatbelt Chagall securely into the back seat, where he sat proudly between the twins.:dog: The drug store lets Chagall come in, so that was an added thrill for the children. Though an added worry for me, over protective as I am. Would they hold tight to his leash? Would they seatbelt him back in correctly? Would they prevent him from shoplifting from the lower shelves? (Can you say cuckoo?!)

They all came back safe and happy, toting dog treats (Milk Bones, a.k.a. "junk food" Chagall only gets from the UPS guy) and a ball. Given the option, I think Chagall would have driven back home to Florida with them.

I go by the "my house, my rules" school of thought. Anyone who enters has to treat the poodle like the sweet lord of the manner he is. Happily, it's never been otherwise here.:smile:
 
#13 ·
"As far as poop in the yard...well .....I have two 40-50lb dogs... They don't poop in the house... That's pretty much fair warning to watch where u step in the yard" ?

:act-up: made me smile when i read it.
i'm thinking of making a fun sign to hang by my front door with this on it!

all my family/friends know my animals are #1 with us
 
#14 ·
My rule is if you don't like my dogs don't come to my house. I will put my kids away only to prevent them from getting hurt with big giant feet not looking where they are going and stepping on a poodle. If you don't like barking, dog toys, poop ( I clean up as they do it but an errant pile is always possible), and dogs on furniture then invite me to your house. Lol. My poodles are my children and are treated as such. (Actually they get away with more than my 2 legged kids did). Hehe. The poodles make me happier than pretty much every human I have ever known.


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#15 ·
I am sorry you and the dogs had to go through this stress. If loving, respecting, caring about our dogs is being kookoo, then I want to be kookoo. Most of my friends and family are big dog and/or cat people (except my dad), so they totally understand it. My parents live with us, they are soon-to-be 78 and 84 years old. My dad has learned that he does not need to gush all over the cats and dogs but he MUST respect them and that I set the rules and boundaries with them. I keep them out of my parent's bedroom and my dad's office. The rest of the house they have as much right to as we all do.

And your loving dogs more then people sometimes, that makes complete sense. Cats and dogs show such respect for their people. They are so loving and caring. Some people could learn a lesson or two from animals.
 
#16 ·
NO! its not just you. My Dogs come 1st, and everyone that knows me, knows that.If you dont like it, dont come to my house.Because, after all the people leave, dogs are still there ,loveing me, with me night & day, they take me however I am, dont talk about me behind my back, & are allways happy to see me, when I come home( even if all I did was to step out to get the mail. Give me my dogs, people come & go, good, when they come, Better when they Go.
 
#17 ·
Yeah, the thing is whenever people don't share an interest, there is often a lack of respect or unwillingness to understand the importance of that interest to others. It used to drive me crazy when people would do those things to my KIDS, get them all wound up by teasing and annoying them. Or criticizing them when the kids were overtired or sick (their own grandma did that actually) and I was trying to get them settled down and to bed. People come first, but everywhere you go there are people who have narrow, stingy views and I just think that they haven't experienced the richness in life that pets (and kids) offer! Their loss :)
 
#18 ·
People are not allowed to yell at my dog just like I don't yell at other people's kids no matter how much they are annoying me. Period. If they have a problem with my dog (e.g. my dog is bullying theirs) they should tell me and I will discipline mine.

Any guest should understand that they are GUESTS while my dog is the HOST. My dog is the resident of the house. He is allowed to go anywhere that I allow while my guests are not welcome to walk around my house, explore my bedrooms, investigate my closets without my invitation.

Nobody is allowed to pull on any body parts of my dog's. It's not cute. It's not funny. It's not polite. I don't understand why people define a good dog as one that lets a child do anything on it. You don't go out and say, "oh, my wife is good because she lets everyone do anything to her."

I'm so annoyed by the one who kept teasing Jazz. Can people go and bug his 80-year-old grandmother or 3-year-old niece like he did to Jazz? Why does a dog have to accept whatever humans want to do them/think it would be fun?

Last time my MIL and her grandson visited and said the same thing - that Nickel shouldn't be allowed on the furniture. I kept telling her nicely that there's plenty of space on the couch and that Nickel's a non-shedding dog but after she repeatedly made that statement and started to scare Nickel off the couch, I told her, "This is not kind and I think you are setting a bad example in front of your grandson. You are teaching him to bully a dog and he would grow up thinking it's alright to bully others. AND this is MY home, MY couch, MY dog."
 
#20 ·
I'm of the thought,"This is mine and Molly's home....you are welcome here as long as you respect it and us!" Luckily most of my relatives just laugh and go along with my preoccupation with Molly cuz they all have animals of their own!MY house MY rules! I also respect other peoples homes and always ask before I bring Molly with me.:nod:
 
#22 ·
My standard reply to these type of people!

"TO NON-PET OWNERS who visit our homes. Don't complain about our pets.
(1) They live here, you don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'Fur'-niture.
(3) Chances are, I love my pets more than I like you.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are family ..who are hairy, walk on all fours & don't talk back.
I have 5 dogs and 2 cats. 6 children (all grown) and 9 grand children
 
#23 ·
We have rules in our house for guests.
Liam lives here, you don't. Respect that. Listen to his parents (David & I, ok - me. Lol) for how to interact with him.

We also follow a No Touch No Look till he comes to you routine. (I am not a Milan fan, but see this as common dog interaction sense.) Even then, no reaching hands over his head: Pet on chest or under chin.
I generally bring him outside to meet first-time arriving guests. He's happier with that, rather than strangers coming straight into "his" house.
We ask guests to stand sideways to him & cross their arms, once inside.
Then, usually, he'll come right over to them, sometimes with a toy. There's always the chance though, that he'll want nothing to do with a certain person. We don't force him.

Course, he's a Doberman, so people generally don't press the issue. ;)


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#24 ·
Course, he's a Doberman, so people generally don't press the issue.
LOL, I bet they don't. I sure wouldn't! :afraid: Attitudes change when you have a fluffy little poo in a Miami. Like Rodney Dangerfield, they get no respect, I tell ya!
 
#25 ·
I do believe "your house, your rules." You are not "kookoo" They are your family; when I am in your home, your rules apply. Although if your dog jumps on me, I will tell him "off".

Yelling at or teasing my dog or cat is not allowed. They yell or tease and they will be on the short end of a lecture.

It appears however that some of my rules are the exception to all of yours. Fritz is not allowed on furniture and he sleep in his crate in my room with the door to his crate closed. There are reasons for this. 1. He sleeps in the crate because we have a cat who has free reign of the home. Although they are learning to get along, I want to be awake when they are both roaming free. 2. Given time, he can get into a whole heap of mischief. 3. My brother would like to have Fritz for sleep overs and he needs to sleep in a crate.

Not going on the furniture is just a rule. He has dog beds in the office and in the living room where I tend to spend most of my time. Not being on the furniture is a rule he is used to.

As far as the person who was outraged by the poop. Hello, if you are that concerned, ask about a pick up policy and still look or stick to walkways. A pick up policy is in place at our home but I don't offer guarantees. I would have probably handed the person who was ticked a poop bag (they are right by the back door) and told them since they knew where the poop was would they mind picking it up or maybe I would have just thought about saying it.

People who enter any of our homes know we have pets who are part of the family. They should look to the host or hostess for guidance on the house rules. They may not agree with them but they should try to honor them.
 
#27 ·
Outwest -- I agree with you; however, most of my friends (for example) ARE dog people, and most are poodle people, too, so I usually don't have those issues. Just lucky I guess. I had a holiday birthday/open house with around 30 people over the course of a day. It was actually a bit much for Sunny since everyone wanted to talk to him, watch him, pet him, etc.; I believe he was thrilled when they all left and he curled up next to me.
 
#28 ·
I am a dog person who doesn't currently have a dog, but has 4 cats. Two of my cats are especially naughty when it comes to food on the table, so when we have guests over I will tend to shut them in the bedroom for a while while we eat. They're always given a chance to stay out, but if they come trying to steal, off to the bedroom they go. At the very least, I have a few squirt bottles around in case anyone gets too close. I admit that I've allowed my cats to get spoiled over the years, and we deal with it.

I love dogs and love having them around. But on Christmas day when we went to my husband's aunt's house, I admit I was very frustrated. Auntie set up a cute little table for my son (4), nephew (4), and niece (2), low to the ground. Her two dogs spent the entire time with their noses in the kids' laps, or trying to lick their faces, or take food that was dropped. Sitting at the table, the kids were eye level with the two dogs, who refused to leave them alone. The kids definitely didn't like it. At one point, my MIL asked Auntie if we could shut the dogs in the bedroom just until the kids were done eating, and she replied "Well, you could try, but they won't stay there."

I should also mention that a few months ago, during dinner, Grandma dropped a napkin on the floor and one of the dogs went for it. Grandma went to pick up the napkin and the dog bit her hand! I ended up spending the entire Christmas meal shooing dogs away from the kids, worried that the kids would try to pick something up that had dropped from the floor, only to get bit by an old, half blind dog going for the same item.

So tell me, was my frustration unreasonable?
 
#30 ·
No, your frustration was not unreasonable at all. BUT since you were at her house, the (inconsiderate, in this case) hostess had the say. If I were a mother of a four-year-old child in this situation, I would have told my husband's aunt, "The children's table is really cute. You are so sweet setting that up but I want my son to focus while eating. That's kind of an ongoing training in our home. Is it okay if he sits with us?"

I have no right to discipline other people's pets/kids but I can control where my pets/kids go, I guess.
 
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