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13 week old puppy makes me wanna kill myself. Please help!

37K views 37 replies 30 participants last post by  Naira 
#1 ·
Hi.

I got my standard poodle puppy 5 weeks ago and she is quite a handful.

In the beginning it was still Ok, even though it was tough right from start. She is my first dog so I'm not really used to how to handle puppies and dogs in general. Even though I am a big animal nerd and have met a lot of dogs in my life, it is quite different to actually live with one, and especially a puppy that needs to be raised and taught what to do and not to do.

She seems extremely hyperactive. I have a puppy pen where she sleeps, and that is also the only place she can relax, from what I've seen. Well she can lay down when she's chewing on a chewing stick, but that's it. As soon as she chewed it up, she's up on her feet again running around biting on things and chasing the cats. She always walks around looking for food and she never seem to be able to get satisfied after a meal. I have de-wormed her.

I understand that she is a puppy, but she seems so extremely hyperactive. She can't lie down in the couch with me. It seems impossible to play with her as well. She just gets to excited and bites me and stuff.

I tried shaving her face and paws today and she just growls and bites me, get really angry and aggressive... The same thing goes for trying to use the hairdryer when she've had a bath...

I don't know if she is just a normal puppy or if it's actually something wrong with her. She seems smart and can already "Sit", "Lie Down" and wait before I say "Go ahead" when she is about to have a meal.

She stresses me out extremely and I can't relax at all when she is awake. I don't know what I'm doing wrong but right now I don't even feel that it is fun to have her here. It's just distressing and hard work for nothing...

I'm starting a puppy course for an instructor on wednesday, hopefully that will help a bit...

Right now I just wanna shoot myself, or her. :/
 
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#2 ·
My spoo just turned 4 months--it all souns about right, except I was expecting it. Maybe you just weren't mentally prepared for what it would be like? Honest, it gets better. Try to relax a bit-your dog can read you. Your anxiety will serve no useful purpose, and will cause you harm.

Shortly, I am sure you will get lots of training suggestions that will help & classes are great.

Sounds to me like you have a healthy, normal puppy.
 
#3 ·
Chill out. You have an awesome and highly trainable puppy who is BORED OUT OF HER MIND.

She needs thorough, structured exercise and structured tug play. Talk to your trainer about it. :)

The next time you want to groom, exercise her until she is completely tired first. Skip her morning meal and feed it to her while you groom her. PRoblem solved. :)
 
#4 ·
Pups aren't born knowing stuff - they learn some things from their mothers and litter mates, and the rest from the world around them, including you. She is learning al the time - it is up to you what she learns! How much exercise does she get? How much time do you spend playing with her, or training her? Did you lead up to the clipping in easy steps, or fight her?

Take a look at the Training Textbook on Dog Star Daily - lots of helpful advice on common puppy issues. I would take her out to run off leash in a safe place several times a day, plus lots of games with pauses for brief training sessions in between, so that she does not get too hyper, and work on impulse control - learning to wait - however briefly - for what she wants. And lots of really good chews and stuffed Kongs! Are you with her all day? Perhaps you need a little you-time, too!
 
#5 ·
And I think it's wonderful that you're starting her in puppy classes, that will help a lot as time goes by. The other puppy owners are probably going through the same thing, and maybe they'll have some tips; the instructor can help a lot too. Plus, any training you provide her will only make her a better dog so my advice would be, keep her in classes. Try lots of different ones, they all contribute to helping her to be a wonderful dog as she matures. And let her have lots of exercise although you shouldn't take her for long bike rides or long jogs or let her do a lot of jumping yet, because her little bones are still developing. Also, assuming she's had all her shots, do you have any opportunities for puppy socialization like play groups, doggy daycare or even just a friend you trust who also has a dog that likes to play? That can be a life-saver, especially if you can drop off your puppy and get some me-time, and pick her up later all tired out and ready for a nap.
 
#7 ·
I totally understand how you are feeling, although I have never gotten to the point of wanting to shoot my puppy. :) Puppy class will definitely help; it's helped me with Hudson (who is also 13 weeks old) and I now have some tools to use when he makes me crazy. Hang in there. There are also a lot of great folks here on the forum who can give you help and encouragement, so keep coming back.

Tammy
 
#8 ·
Thanks for the replys!

Well she just seems really stressed out all the time. I am with her all day, yes. And I live by the forest so we take daily walks (not long ones) in the forest without the leash. And I try to go at least one walk per day in the neighbourhood (with leash on, of course) so that she sees cars, people, kids, other dogs at a distance, and that kind of stuff...

No it doesn't seem to be any other puppies in the area so she doesn't got any playmates. :( At least now she'll be able to play with other poodle puppies (it's a special poodle puppy class I'm attending) once a week now for 6 weeks... at least that's something...

I might get a part time job now during the summer, but it depends on how long I'll be gone and/or if I can take her with me to work.

It's just that when I try to do stuff with her she get really really stressed out. And it doesn't seem to matter if she's just been outside or not. If she's tired, or just slept... She just get into panic mode straight away what it seems.

And this is when I try to brush her teeth, use the trimmer, the hairdryer, or even try to just hold her if I need to get the yuck-stuff out of her eyes or open her mouth when she eats something weird outside, or something. It's really distressing... :(

I did'nt realize how mentally tiring it would be to have a puppy. Of course I knew it would be a challenge but didn't realize just HOW BIG. I feel all worn out and she's just 3 months old!!

Well, can't wait for puppy class on wednesday....
 
#9 ·
I think I would work on some handling exercises with her - touch = treat, moving up to stroke = treat, and then onto briefly hoding = treat. Most of the things you mention are unpleasant for a puppy, and it is not good for either of you if she begins to associate being held with Bad Stuff for Poodles! It helps to plan ahead - lots of games of Swapsies (let her pick up a toy, or a Kleenex, or something not too important, then offer her something much better in exchange, then give her back the first object too - Wow! It is really worth letting humans have stuff, because they play by different rules to dogs!), and games of touching and eventually holding nose, toes, etc will make life much, much easier for you in the future. We even played Doctors and Puppies, with treats popped into mouths instead of pills!
 
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#10 ·
Ah, the joys of a poodle puppy. I remember it well :smile:.

She needs to learn that all the handling you do (and will need to do in the future) is a consistent predictor of good things.

Puppies don't know that you need to trim their feet. What they do know is that if their littermates grab their feet, it's a challenge and excuse for the start of a rough and tumble game. Hence the growling.

Start slow. Get some really good treats ... bits of bacon or sausage, boiled chicken, smelly cheese. Cut these into tiny bits, about half the size of your pinky nail. Touch a foot with one finger, treat. Repeat 10 times. Touch a foot with two fingers, treat. Repeat 10 times. The next day, loosely wrap on finger around the back of her leg, treat. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Every time you go to touch some part of her, she should be thinking "where's that chicken!?!"

Sophia Yin has some really good videos on her website about desensitising dogs to handling (as well as some really good training videos).

Whatever you do, don't force the issue at this age. One session of pinning the dog down to trim her feet at this age can set up a trauma that can take months to overcome.
 
#11 ·
thanks fjm and JE-UK.

yeah I'll try giving her evening meal now in her puppy pen, one kibble at a time. :)

Let's see how that goes. Right now I'll give her 50% raw food and 50% kibble (in different meals, not mixed) and I'm gonna start giving the kibble in touch-and-easy-grooming-excersice-kind-of-way as you suggested.

I'll let you know how it goes. :p
 
#12 ·
Yes! Excellent idea! Ian Dunbar (a dog trainer/behaviourist who is a wonderful source of info ... try dogstardaily.com) recommends throwing away the dinner bowl altogether and feeding the dog's entire ration either through training or in food dispensing toys (like a Kong). I did this often when mine was a pup, i.e. sat on the floor and fed him his dinner bit by bit as I worked on something. It's actually a good bonding exercise as well as a great training opportunity.
 
#14 ·
Honestly ... things do get easier. I truly believe the more time you put in as a puppy, the more you'll be thankful as an adult :)



I did this as well. I followed Ian Dunbar's recommendation of "throwing away the bowl" with the last 3 puppies I trained, and I believe it makes a world of difference!
Good luck :) and try to relax and enjoy your puppy!
 
#13 ·
I feel for you. PUPPIES ARE HARD! I haven't had one in more than 25 years, but I have not forgotten. lol My advice would be to try to calm down. Put her in her crate and go take some "me" time. This will pass, it does get better. She just has to have some time. Make sure she gets lots of outside, lose time to play and run ect. If you make it through this phase you will have a friend that you do enjoy for many years to come. Good Luck.
 
#15 ·
I empathize with you. I fostered four puppies at the same time and I wanted to shoot myself on some days too. All I wanted was a moment to myself and take a nap, but that was not possible. Please hang in there! And also try to get out of the house to do fun stuff with people every now and then! You deserve it!
 
#16 ·
May I strongly suggest investing in a 'clicker'. There are some brilliant books on amazon... just type in 'clicker training'.
Clickers need 'warming up' but before/if
you get one, another way is just to say "yes!" in a high pitched voice, and she'll realise that it means what she just did earned her a treat. This is less easy to keep consistent which is hugely important with dogs in training, so again I recomment a clicker :)

I suggest also, starting to shape her behaviour with/without a clicker by rewarding her calmly whenever she is relaxing or calm, leave the door open to her pen, and ANY time she is relaxed, or laying or sitting down just give her a treat and a soft rub under the neck (no commands at this point for positions ..you're just rewarding for being in a relaxed state).
she will soon learn that just being calm is more rewarding than being hyperactive 100% of time time ..although you gotta give some leway for being a puppy of course ;)

This age is also brilliant for attention exercises... so everytime she makes eye contact or looks your direction reward her (click + treat if you have a clicker) and give lots of good praise - this sets her up for when she is learning more commands, and goes through any 'naughty' stages, and you'll have the eye contact behaviour as a sort of default for her to do.

I wouldnt start teaching her any tricks yet, e.g. 'paw'.. these can increase excitability at a young age..it is much preferrable to have a dog that looks at you attentively than one that stabs you with its paw!
 
#17 ·
It doesn't sound like she is getting enough exercise. Go outside and play fetch with her until she is EXHAUSTED. (And do this every day.) Maybe this will help with the hyper-activity. As for grooming, when she growls say "No!" and if I gets too bad give her a gentle flick on the nose, not enough to hurt her but to startle her. Also, always start by letting her sniff all the equipment, like the clippers, brushes, combs, and scissors.

Good luck! And it WILL get better :)
 
#18 ·
It doesn't sound like she is getting enough exercise. Go outside and play fetch with her until she is EXHAUSTED.
We go out several times per day and since I have a forest behind my house she can run free there. So I doubt that she gets to little exercise...

She just seem to be a very high energy puppy...

Gonna go out now in the forest and throw out some pieces of sausage so that she can work a bit with her nose. That'll get her a bit more tired, or should I say less hyper... ;)
 
#20 ·
She is totally acting like a puppy. But some pups are more hyper than others just like some people are type A and others are not.

We got Omar at 8 weeks old. He was the first little puppy I had raised for a long time. He barked and yapped and jumped and played and drove me nuts night and day. He is also the smartest of my poodles and can perform many tricks. At 13 1/2 years old Omar is still the most hyper of my poodles. He is seldom content to lay down and sleep. He is always barking at something, licking something, smelling something or chasing something. He never slows down and actually is quite amazing for his age.

Lila never played even as a puppy. In fact she was the poodle we got to play with Omar to try and calm him down. (that was a horrible failure) LOL. She was the perfect little lap dog. Content to just stay on your lap and watch tv all day.

Maggie is a player but gets tired after a few minutes.

Nicholas is getting better and calmer as he gets older. He is yappier than Maggie but less than Omar. (hmmm I am sensing a thing with boy dogs).

Penelope grew up with 12 other poodles and is the best behaved and least problematic poodle I have ever seen. She is not yappy, does not bite, loves to play but does not fight over the toys, loves to lay on my lap.

So each and every one of them has a distinct and separate personaility.
 
#21 ·
I used a book by Duffy, 10 step to a successful family dog, something like that and a puppy class helps socialize them somewhat. She wants to learn, she is just bored. Ive worked with my pup an hour a night minimum for 8 months not including play and tug o war time. I never had luck with a pen on any dog, they need a smaller space to call their own. Get her a crate and bedding and don't be afraid to use it when you need some personal time. I have a friend with a 13 YO, he still sleeps in his crate with the door open. They need their space and structure. Duffy's book is around $17 on Amazon and he is a trainer near me recommended by the local paws with purpose. He trains every type of dog imaginable all on the same technique.
 
#22 ·
Hi.

She stresses me out extremely and I can't relax at all when she is awake. I don't know what I'm doing wrong but right now I don't even feel that it is fun to have her here. It's just distressing and hard work for nothing...

I'm starting a puppy course for an instructor on wednesday, hopefully that will help a bit...

Right now I just wanna shoot myself, or her. :/
Oh boy, do I ever hear you!! I've had dogs for the past 40 years, so considered myself a fairly experienced dog owner, but I'd never owned a poodle. I knew poodles of all sizes could be high energy but I honestly wasn't prepared for Cali. I got her at 4 months of age and she never stopped moving except when she was in her crate or in her xpen. She constantly wanted to play tug and retrieve and jumped and grabbed and bit. It was like bringing a little Tasmanian Devil into the house!

She had absolutely no interest in me except as something to either throw a ball or hang onto the end of a tug toy. Cuddling was not in her vocabulary and I was wondering if I'd made a huge mistake in my choice of breed. I will freely admit, cute as she is, there were days when I didn't like her much. Since I chose her though, she was mine for life so I decided I'd just keep on with the training like I'd always done with my other dogs and hope for the best.

The xpen saved my life and probably Cali's. ;-) Whenever she just got to be too much, I'd put her in it with her food and water and a chewy and just go about my business or take a nap! LOL I didn't feel badly about putting her in an xpen for a couple of hours, even though I was home, because she had room to roam around, had her food and water in there and also she was small enough that she could get far enough away from her sleeping area to relieve herself on the newspaper if she needed to go. I had the pen set up between my kitchen and den so she could usually see me most of the time and seemed happy enough in it. The xpen has now been retired to my basement and she goes in it when I have to go out. I always reserve a really good treat for then (peanut butter stuffed kong) and as soon as she sees it, she tears down the stairs and puts herself in the pen.

I am happy to report that now she's just over 7 months old, she is really starting to change . While she's still not super cuddly, she will come over to me and ask for pats. When she falls asleep, she always does it on my foot or as near to me as she can get. She seems to be recognizing me as someone she likes, not just someone to throw the ball. She always learned things quickly but spent most of obedience class jumping up and down on one spot and totally ignoring me. LOL She is now settling down and doing some nice work on occasion. She's also old enough now to go for quite long walks and also to the dog park so she actually tires herself out enough to take naps!! LOL

I'm finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. I think she's going to be one neat little dog in the end but I hear your frustration loud and clear and totally understand it. Others have given you some great training advice and the only thing I'd add is to just grit your teeth and hang in there. I don't think it's necessarily anything you're doing wrong, I think you've just got a normal poodle puppy. ;)
 
#29 ·
So what you are saying is that there is not much difference between a toddler boy and a poodle puppy lol! Great....Well they can stay in time out together then lol ! I am getting a mini poo in the spring. I think I ll buy the books now and study up. All i remember of my Rossi girls puppy days is ripping up my backpack nightly! GL
 
#23 ·
Tired puppies are happy puppies! Hazel loves to play and will fetch a ball as long as you will continue to throw it I think. Loves to go for walks and loves learning new things.... I am thrilled to have her in my life even with her boundless energy. I am sure once you get the hang of it you will too :)
 
#24 ·
Hi.
She stresses me out extremely and I can't relax at all when she is awake. I don't know what I'm doing wrong but right now I don't even feel that it is fun to have her here. It's just distressing and hard work for nothing...

I'm starting a puppy course for an instructor on wednesday, hopefully that will help a bit...

Right now I just wanna shoot myself, or her. :/
I completely know what your going through! I got a standard poodle who was 5 months, and cried the next day because it seemed like too much to handle. It DOES get better. He's just over a year now and even though he can be a pain in the neck, I'm glad I got him and am enjoying him a lot more!
The puppy course should be an awesome experience for both of you :) You can get answers to your questions and your dog will learn how to act around other dogs
 
#25 ·
I know this thread has been inactive for months now, but I am so thankful for this thread -- because my 13-week-old spoo is making me feel pretty overwhelmed and constantly stressed.

Thank you, Zindra, for starting this thread & thank you to all of the posters for your helpful replies! I am relieved to know that this craziness is just something puppy owners have to deal with -- I look forward to the day when our pup is grown up and a great, well-adjusted pal.
 
#26 ·
I haven't read the other posts, so please forgive me if I'm repeating what others may have said: My dog did exactly that at that age so I think your dog is high energy not hyperactive. Do safe (short) play and lots of walking. I had to start running with my 17-month old dog and it is just recently he is heeling. Obedience class is excellent idea.
I think you might be doing a lot witht he grooming part. Clipping is a long process for some. Think baby steps....I still can't do the feet of my dog and the face is split into several short sessions.
Hard to play with? Yes, we had that too especially when my 6 and 9 year old kids were around. We had zoomies and nipping. And if there is any nipping, yelp and playtime is over.
And relax as your dog is feeding into your emotions. Good luck.
 
#27 · (Edited)
JE-Uk , thank you, your reply was very helpful to me and a lot of common sense that I should have thought of.I am ashamed to admit that patience is not my long suit when it comes to training. I raised and showed Lhasa's for years and found that breed to be very laid back and easy to train to show and groom. When I got my boy Walter, he was eight weeks and his breeder(completely inexperienced in puppys) had allowed the litter to do as they pleased. Including biting, growling ect. It has been twenty years since I have had a puppy in my life and I was amazed at the high energy and antics of this little poodle. He loves to mouth my hands and nose, he has a soft mounth unless he gets really excited. I have an awful time trying to groom him, he hates the clippers and dryier and is always trying to bite the comb and brush, your advise to Zindra has made me realize I need to slow down and not let my self get so frustrated with walter. Thanks again.
 
#30 ·
I haven't read all of the posts in this thread in detail, and I doubt I can answer all of the questions raised along the way. But since it has come back up to the top I just noticed it and I really just want to say that I spent much of the first 15 months Lily was here wondering whether she really had been a good idea for us. I absolutely loved her immeasurably from the instant I picked her, but she was sooooo annoying at times and downright crazy herself or making me think I was crazy. I thought about putting both of my dogs on leashes tied to the mailbox post with signs around their necks saying "please take us, we will try to be good" more than once (never really would have done this of course).

Anyway I am so glad I toughed it out. My life would be much poorer in quality without our dogs. Our home is enriched by them and they are a constant source of laughs, comfort and joy. My beautiful smart girl is such a great companion as a pet and a performance partner. She makes me proud to be trusted by her.
 
#32 ·
I spent much of the first 15 months Lily was here wondering whether she really had been a good idea for us. I absolutely loved her immeasurably from the instant I picked her, but she was sooooo annoying at times and downright crazy herself or making me think I was crazy. I thought about putting both of my dogs on leashes tied to the mailbox post with signs around their necks saying "please take us, we will try to be good" more than once (never really would have done this of course).
Goodness, that was soooo me and my dog too! I really thought that when I got my puppy and knowing that poodles are so smart, that I could make a cup of coffee, sit down with puppy and have a talk about all my expectations and of course Puppy would agree! Boy was I wrong and my DH and I have talked about whether it was wise to get a dog. But with every passing day, he gets better and better!
 
#33 ·
When Mack was smaller, he was quite uncontrollable.

I started to hand fed him and every bit i wanted to feed him, i gave a command. I did this for a week and practiced NILIF.

After which a transformation happened to him and he listened to more of what i wanted him to do.

Don't worry, there's always ways to teach. I even taught him "gently" so that he will take food from my hand gently instead of trying to gorge my fingers.
 
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