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Names of dogs: Poppy (Italian Greyhound) & Lola (Toy Poodle)
Poodle Type: Black toy poodle
Location: Finedon Northants UK
Thanked 74 Times in 25 Posts
A quick word on a subject that has been touched on before on this is forum.
Why do some members feel it necessary to make their replies blunt and with an underlying tone.
It brings me in mind of a phrase often used here in the UK.
'You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar'
I did think it was just me. But then when I looked around and found other posts by certain members, they all seem to be discourteously blunt. Whilst I appreciate we are all different. I do think some people should take lessons in diplomacy. To fine tune the art of dealing with other people in a sensitive and effective way. Any good ideas they may have are lost by those of us who just switch off when being talked at in a certain manner.
Sorry but I can't help but notice these things being a psychologist.
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I on the other hand have found most of the posters here to have an abundance of patience when attempting to help solve problems others are having with their pups. For example, someone new to the forum and poodles in general poses a question about a problem they are having with a pup with a brief description of how they are approaching the situation. Forum members will respond, often at great length and detail giving the benefit of years of experience and research. They do this voluntarily and on their own time. Only to have the original poster to come back and argue that his or her approach is not wrong, it is just not working.
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I participate on quite a few forums on other subjects and find that the internet as a whole is made up of people who treat others with courtesy and good manners and some just say what they think and they don't seem to care how offensive they may or may not sound.
On the other hand, there are many people who use beautiful manners on-line as they do in Real Life.
I found some of the most warm, loving and kind replies on this forum last year, when I arrived for the first time. From my first post I was welcomed and felt loved. I might come across someone who sounds cranky, but then, don't we all have those days?
In the end, it is easy enough to skip the cranky ones and enjoy the wealth of information and kind hearted responses here .. this is a place I know I can come to to find a smile and any question will be answered .. That is plenty enough for me !
Last edited by Pup's mom; 11-29-2012 at 03:54 AM.
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Russell, I think many discussion forums are alike in that way. Some participants are just more direct or blunt than others. And some can be rude too. I do not condone the rudeness, but I can understand the occasional blunt response. Hey, you never know what is going on on their side the computer, right? And some people just like to hear themselves talk (or in this case see themselves type??) while others say things they never would in person under the disguise of anonymity of the computer. But I think after a while you get to know whose replies or attitude you don't "click" with and you can just skip those and go to the people who can actually offer assistance.
"Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human ever has to choose a relative" - Mordecai Siegal
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I think it comes back to an artifact of communicating instantly through text. The only time I write formal letter is for work, and while they end with sincerely, they tend to get straight to the point. Before that was probably a pen pal letter in grade school. Text used to be a formal form of communication and is not used more conversationally.
Most of us are used to being able to get a fairly quick response to fairly brief text. So our typing is more like one side of the conversation. That leads to the problem that unlike an in person conversation, you give fewer cues to the listener/reader as to your tone. On-line the tone comes more from the reader than the typist, and some people are quicker to take offense then others.
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There is never an excuse for rudeness. I will be the first to say, that sometimes when I type something as a joke it comes out the wrong way.... For example when I call Remington evil horrible bad poodle.... I love him with all my heart, but unless you know us, you might think that I mean it. If I ever say something that offends you please let me know. I would never want anyone to think that I was being rude or saying something that was offensive. :(
Just a thought, but there are many types of personalities and norms. For example, I am from Texas, and everyone is "sweetheart" or "honey"...however, when we went to another state, and I said "Thank you honey" to someone who held the door for me, and they looked like I had used the worst of the four letter words. Another example, is that I live in a miltary town, it is very different to talk to a parent that is in the Army. They don't want to hear that their kid is just the cutest thing in the world, they want to know what the student's grade is and everything is black and white... Sometimes you just have to consider the source and move on.....
"I know that dogs are pack animals, but it is difficult to imagine a pack of standard poodles ... and if there was such a thing as a pack of standard poodles, where would they rove to? Bloomingdale's? " --Yvonne Clifford, American actress
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