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I was Charley's mamma...

4K views 30 replies 14 participants last post by  LSK 
#1 ·
My name is Lo and I was the mamma of Charley. He was 13 1/2. He was the light of my life. I got him as a 9 week old from a breeder in the Santa Maria area. Unfortunately he was diagnosed with very bad hip dysplasia when he was over 2 months old and not a candidate for the early operation to correct the problem. I got him all the early intervention I could think of, Adequan shots series, acupuncture, special meals and vitamins. We even bought a house with not so great a house on the land but a great amount of grassy soft yard so he could get his exercise and play in without more damage to the joints in his hips. He was my studio mate. I'm an artist. He was my everything. My husband and son loved him as much as I did and Charley loved everyone equally. He had been picked up so he could walk for the last 6 months or so. He was also on Pred, Tram and Gaba for the last year along with a last series of acupuncture shots for the last 3 months. 2 days ago he stopped being able to walk on his own, then the sling did not work because his front legs stopped working. His whole body broke down in 48 hours. We called a vet recommended by a dear rescue foundation friend of mine. And five minutes before the vet was to be at our door, Charley woke from a straight 5 hour nap to go outside in our big front lawn. He did not want to pee or move his bowels, just walk painfully with my husband holding his rear with a sling. Then I knew that he knew. I brought out his old loved bed that he chose over all the new ones I bought him along the way and laid down. He went peacefully except for my cries of love that I said over and over. I also got him to stare at me when I asked him if he would come back to me if I looked for him. I think I saw yes in his eyes. Is there such a beautiful thing as reincarnation? I hope with all my heart yes because I cannot see myself without him. It has been 22 1/2 hours and I have been out of my skin. And worse, I have to take a trip to Hong Kong for 5 days on Sat.
How does this hell stop? Does it ever stop? Should I look for my re-born Charley in a few months? Please do not think I'm crazy. Yes. I am an artist/painter and this all sounds weird. But Charley was not my dog, he was my family, friend and my everything.
 
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#29 ·
Thank you so very much Cavon, Marylynn, Abbe, Lily and et all...... This forum saved my breaking spirit today. Now I need to mend my heart. This is a mountain of pain that I must climb. Thank you all for the help in that climb.
 
#30 ·
Dear LSK,
I am so deeply saddened for you.Your pain is so familiar to all of us who have lost a beloved heart dog, and there is nothing but the slow move of time that will bring some lessening of your grief. There’s no way around it-just do allow yourself to grieve as fully as you need to, out of respect for that special boy that was a partner to you in every sense of the word.Never mind what others think- this is your journey.
You were so very privileged to experience the soulful singular dedication of a wonderful dog such as Charley, and that is what you miss now- you feel alone without your friend by your side.
One day, and I promise you that day will come, you will be able to think of him with a smile and warm love and you’ll remember how singular he was to you, and still is. Nobody will ever be able to take his place in your heart.. But your heart is big and you will be able to love again.
Sending you hugs and want you to know that I am thinking of you. I was there; I remember it all, and my thoughts will be there with you.
 
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