LEUllman

Yes, the Breeding forums here especially can be minefields for the unwary. There are a handful of posters who can be relied on to be unneccessarily abrasive and confrontational. More than once I've read an innocent post and winced, thinking "Oy vey, better duck and cover!"

On the other hand, there are many more individuals whose posts are not only informative and useful, but are models of polite discourse. These are the ones who keep me coming back.

MaryLynn

I feel like I could be one of the "blunt" posters. I don't find my posting to be rude, or discourteous, but I do find over sugaring things to be a big push for me. I am not a very sugary person, and quite honestly I don't think that's what diplomacy is anyways.

I just can't think of a better way to communicate than being accurate, concise, and to the point. If I feel I may offend someone, I usually make sure to make a point to mention that I am not intending to upset someone. I think we're not doing anydog any favors by avoiding hard truths.

Rudeness is however intolerable to me, direct or scathing remarks, or biting remarks at the expense of others is what I would consider discourtesy.

That being said, I do not mean for this to come across as an insult, or rudeness, and I am not dismissing your concerns, but my best advice to you would be to make sure that you continue to treat others how you wish to be treated, and ignore the people who do not reciprocate.

It takes all kinds, and you will find all kinds on the internet. It will help you develop a "thick skin" regardless if you wanted one or not.

I hope that you don't feel dissuaded, and that you continue to enjoy the company and advice of these forums.

PaddleAddict

It could be me.

Honestly, I might be blunt, but I don't think I'm rude. I have very little time to be posting on forums these days, so I won't be crafting my posts for hours, but when I see something I know about or someone who is asking for help, I do try to post what I can to offer information, particularly if I see dangerous advice.

That means a quick and "blunt" reply.

PaddleAddict

Also, I hesitate to post this because it might come across as sounding rude (I don't intend it to be rude), but this is a community made up of all different kinds of people. There is a lot of history here.

OP, you have only been a part of this forum for a month or so. I find it odd that you would make such a broad "chastising" post so early into your time here. Why not simply sit back and get a feel for this forum and its members? You probably would not join a club of people in real life and immediately criticize the people in that club. In real life you would get to know the people better.

No one is perfect, and people will always have different personalities, different styles, different values, different approaches and different perspectives, but that does not mean there is no value to that person, particularly on an information-sharing forum like this one.

Russell

"OP, you have only been a part of this forum for a month or so. I find it odd that you would make such a broad "chastising" post so early into your time here. "


this reply sort of illustrates my point.

At no point in the forum rules does it say new member opnions are not welcome.


I perceive your approach and manner to be bullying and somewhat aggressive too.

PaddleAddict

I'm sorry you perceive it that way. I don't know what is bullying or aggressive. I thought my post was rather polite. You chose to start this topic criticizing members on this forum, so you should not be surprised if some of us take offense to your presumptions.

Pup's mom

Diplomacy
skill in handling affairs without arousing hostility : tact
.................................................. .............................
I think , when someone brings up the subject of Diplomacy, it would be good to do it in a more diplomatic manner.
Otherwise, one would just be considered insensitive or tactless.
It does help , when entering new groups , to sort of sit back and "meet" the people and ease oneself into the group .. rather than metaphorically speaking , barge in and call names.
This tends to make people feel bullied and offended .. which is not very diplomatic.

Pluto

But that is sort of the crux of the issue right? Another poster can only do so much to convey tone, if someone wants to be offended they will be, not matter what a poster types or how nicely phrased.

I think you will be happier with your experiance here, and on other boards, if you assume good will.

MaryLynn

I think, and I am sorry to say this that you perceive there to be a grudge where there isn't one. I think it would have been better to send the person you're unsure of a PM to resolve any of your uncertainties.

What I think we're trying to say is that what you're doing, and how you're doing it, isn't really conductive of diplomatically resolving your perceived problems with another member. In no way is anyone trying to tell you you're not welcome here, or that what you have to say doesn't count.

Countryboy

Knowing PA as I do, I don't find this paragraph offensive at all. It's a point that I have felt like raising with some new members too.

But the OP's point is well taken also. I have seen posts in this forum that are deliberately rude, and made for no other reason but to be rude. And, to be fair, I have replied in kind to some of them... once . . . or twice maybe.

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